Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Hi Raja,
I miss your wishes
I miss your handshake
I miss your greeting card
I miss your smile
I miss you
I am awaiting the day to join you.
Whereever you are, I will always remain yours, applu
I miss your wishes
I miss your handshake
I miss your greeting card
I miss your smile
I miss you
I am awaiting the day to join you.
Whereever you are, I will always remain yours, applu
Friday, June 29, 2007
Happiest day of my life.
A day, I always look forward to wish you
And shake your hands
Give this card,
Give a present
See you smile
I can’t shake your hands
I can’t see your smile,
But my wish card is here
And my present is here
And only you know what it is
“I did not shed tears to day”
Waiting to see you
Love you always, applu
Monday, May 21, 2007
I miss you da. I long to see you. Whenever I see others talk about their son, I feel so hurt, of all the things in my life I only loved you and Gani and what wrong did I do to lose you and why should I be deprived of my son’s love. You are such a wonderful guy.
I never forget you, though I try my best to keep your thoughts away. It is just useless. My heart bleeds and the pain is unbearable. No amount of tears is going to wash away the sadness.
Just hold me tight Raja, I need your hugging to keep me steady for Gani and Ma
Ever yours Applu
I never forget you, though I try my best to keep your thoughts away. It is just useless. My heart bleeds and the pain is unbearable. No amount of tears is going to wash away the sadness.
Just hold me tight Raja, I need your hugging to keep me steady for Gani and Ma
Ever yours Applu
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Hi Raja
There is a beleif, early morning dreams come true. I saw you to day in my dreams at 5.25 a.m. You were sleeping and I saw you sitting next to you for a few minutes. I knew you will not wake up, but I was very happy to see you. When I woke up, for the first time, since you left me, I felt happy with your memory instead of the deep agony which used to cut through my heart. Of course there were tears, not in regret but for missing you.
You may be a frozen memory in other's heart, but you live in our heart. I still hold the hope, I will definitely meet you and be with you. Where, how I don't know, but I will, surely.
Applu
There is a beleif, early morning dreams come true. I saw you to day in my dreams at 5.25 a.m. You were sleeping and I saw you sitting next to you for a few minutes. I knew you will not wake up, but I was very happy to see you. When I woke up, for the first time, since you left me, I felt happy with your memory instead of the deep agony which used to cut through my heart. Of course there were tears, not in regret but for missing you.
You may be a frozen memory in other's heart, but you live in our heart. I still hold the hope, I will definitely meet you and be with you. Where, how I don't know, but I will, surely.
Applu
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Raja
This day, this time you said bye to me. You never came back home. From the moment I received the phone call from Ma, this day, for me and ma life has changed for ever.
Why us ?
Every day I have been searching for the answer everywhere.
Nobody knows.
My hopes, faith, belief, confidence, contentment, strength, trust, self esteem, my ego, my identity, everything has vanished. My faith and trust in Almighty is gone and I only fear The Almighty now.
I have no answer; I don’t know what to do except to cry, because I feel helpless.
Why must I grieve silently,
When my heart is so loudly screaming?
The emptiness I feel is consuming me,
Oh God, how I wish I were dreaming.
The silence around me is deafening,
For nobody knows what to say,
To comfort this agony I'm feeling,
Since you went away.
And each day the sun continues to rise,
And the earth is still turning,
Though my world has come to a screeching halt,
No one can ease my yearning.
For a part of me has vanished,
And a part of my heart has died,
And no one can hear my heartache,
Or feel the turmoil I carry inside.
And I'll go on grieving silently,
And exist on a different plane,
And I'll keep my love for you deep in my heart,
Until we see each other again.
My broken heart still beats because you are always there.
Touch me please, so that at least I can keep my sanity for the sake of Ma and Gani.
Applu
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Raja
I loved to do lot of things for you, but why God wished me to do this thing for you, I would never know. I prayed for you and I hope all the rituals I did takes you where you should be.
But one thing is certain, you will always be in our heart and that is the heaven for you, rest peacefully there, Raja. I am sure, somewhere we will meet, I will wait for that day. Take care of Ma and Gani and all those who really love you.
Forever, I want to be your Applu.
I loved to do lot of things for you, but why God wished me to do this thing for you, I would never know. I prayed for you and I hope all the rituals I did takes you where you should be.
But one thing is certain, you will always be in our heart and that is the heaven for you, rest peacefully there, Raja. I am sure, somewhere we will meet, I will wait for that day. Take care of Ma and Gani and all those who really love you.
Forever, I want to be your Applu.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Hi Raja,
Ma needs a hug from you, wishing her on her birthday. Will u come in her dreams and give her a hug. You are with me always.
Applu
Ma needs a hug from you, wishing her on her birthday. Will u come in her dreams and give her a hug. You are with me always.
Applu
Monday, January 29, 2007
hi ma!!!!
wat u lookin at? y am i here???? well, i know that ur readin this blog almost everyday, so i thought il just let u know that im doin good n keepin well! miss u loads n i swear, its almost gona be a yr now n not a day has passed by with out ur thought!!!! love u like always!!!! plz be with me!!!!
wat u lookin at? y am i here???? well, i know that ur readin this blog almost everyday, so i thought il just let u know that im doin good n keepin well! miss u loads n i swear, its almost gona be a yr now n not a day has passed by with out ur thought!!!! love u like always!!!! plz be with me!!!!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Hi Raja
Look at your Applu now, without you everything has changed. Do you know I am not even supposed to cry, because I must face the reality. But I don't care what anybody thinks. I cry for you, I remember you always, you still live for me, I am very proud of you, I want to be with you just to see you and hear me call applu. As before when you want me just call me da, I will be come wherever you want. Whatever I have become, my love for you has not changed a bit. Just take care of Ma and Gani for me da.
Always yours, Applu
Look at your Applu now, without you everything has changed. Do you know I am not even supposed to cry, because I must face the reality. But I don't care what anybody thinks. I cry for you, I remember you always, you still live for me, I am very proud of you, I want to be with you just to see you and hear me call applu. As before when you want me just call me da, I will be come wherever you want. Whatever I have become, my love for you has not changed a bit. Just take care of Ma and Gani for me da.
Always yours, Applu
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Raja
I have not forgotten you, I remember you every day, every hour, every minute and every second, you live with me always. Long to see your smile, long to hear your voice, long to touch you. Why did you leave me da ?
I have not forgotten you, I remember you every day, every hour, every minute and every second, you live with me always. Long to see your smile, long to hear your voice, long to touch you. Why did you leave me da ?
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Hi Raja
You know well your Applu and you also know I will listen only to the two of you. I realize I have no right to upset others. I will change. You will live in my heart. I will live for Gani and Ma. May be I have been disturbing you too instead of allowing you to rest in peace. We will never know why it has to be this way in our life. You are a wonderful boy, I am real proud of you.
We gave you the name, we gave you the shape, but now I don’t know where you are and in what form you are. I will cherish every moment of your life with me. With a hug I leave you forever. Bye da, go and rest in peace.
Always yours, Applu.
You know well your Applu and you also know I will listen only to the two of you. I realize I have no right to upset others. I will change. You will live in my heart. I will live for Gani and Ma. May be I have been disturbing you too instead of allowing you to rest in peace. We will never know why it has to be this way in our life. You are a wonderful boy, I am real proud of you.
We gave you the name, we gave you the shape, but now I don’t know where you are and in what form you are. I will cherish every moment of your life with me. With a hug I leave you forever. Bye da, go and rest in peace.
Always yours, Applu.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Raja
I weep often
for the happiness and time we shared
for the pain of your ma and bro
for the hopes and dreams we had for you
for not knowing why
for not knowing what is left
for not knowing how to support your ma and bro
for having become useless to everyone
for not knowing when and
for the future without you.
Applu in wilderness
I weep often
for the happiness and time we shared
for the pain of your ma and bro
for the hopes and dreams we had for you
for not knowing why
for not knowing what is left
for not knowing how to support your ma and bro
for having become useless to everyone
for not knowing when and
for the future without you.
Applu in wilderness
Saturday, September 23, 2006
i feel u every sec...
blow along my gentle breeze.
i know u're by my side...
much love ,
Galadriel..
blow along my gentle breeze.
i know u're by my side...
much love ,
Galadriel..
Where did you go
I miss you
Longing to have a glimpse of you
Longing to touch you
Longing to see your face
Longing to see your smile
Longing to hear your voice,
Longing to hear you call me Applu
What will it take
Applu
I miss you
Longing to have a glimpse of you
Longing to touch you
Longing to see your face
Longing to see your smile
Longing to hear your voice,
Longing to hear you call me Applu
What will it take
Applu
Friday, September 22, 2006
Everyone say let go, they don’t know
No, don’t let go, you can’t be gone
Help me please understand,
You left this love open in a way they can’t close
Under a cloud of smoke and flame
I feel the slipping away, I see nothing but pain and sorrow
My god you are gone
Nooo, it can’t be
Can you hear me
Can you see me
Can you help me
I know you are not here, but don’t know how or why
Never answer the question
I don’t want to know you won’t be back
Applu, maimed
No, don’t let go, you can’t be gone
Help me please understand,
You left this love open in a way they can’t close
Under a cloud of smoke and flame
I feel the slipping away, I see nothing but pain and sorrow
My god you are gone
Nooo, it can’t be
Can you hear me
Can you see me
Can you help me
I know you are not here, but don’t know how or why
Never answer the question
I don’t want to know you won’t be back
Applu, maimed
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I walk that path so often
In these subsequent times
Hoping for one glimpse of you
Among the dark pines.
I stand in the sunshine
And search for your bright smile,
Your golden hair
Against the blue-eyed sky.
I drive that road every day
And nearing that hill pray
That over its crest I find
Your slim, tall figure
Slouching home.
We are propelled into the future
Like a semi on our bumper
Every moment farther from those we loved
And who loved us.
We leave forever behind
The hour we last shared
And any last chance
To offer a caring word
A kindness, or needed help
To save, or at least ease
The loneliness and pain,
Or just simply afford us now
Some small fragment of peace.
They tell me you are at peace
I neither know nor care
You should be here with us
But never will again.
So in this aching emptiness
I spend my hours
In some sense waiting
To someday be with you.
Applu Stupified
In these subsequent times
Hoping for one glimpse of you
Among the dark pines.
I stand in the sunshine
And search for your bright smile,
Your golden hair
Against the blue-eyed sky.
I drive that road every day
And nearing that hill pray
That over its crest I find
Your slim, tall figure
Slouching home.
We are propelled into the future
Like a semi on our bumper
Every moment farther from those we loved
And who loved us.
We leave forever behind
The hour we last shared
And any last chance
To offer a caring word
A kindness, or needed help
To save, or at least ease
The loneliness and pain,
Or just simply afford us now
Some small fragment of peace.
They tell me you are at peace
I neither know nor care
You should be here with us
But never will again.
So in this aching emptiness
I spend my hours
In some sense waiting
To someday be with you.
Applu Stupified
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said.
For you to love - while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care or him for Me?
He'll bring his smiles to gladden you,
And should this stay be brief
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this world over
In search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd
Life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor count the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to
Take him back again?"
I fancied that I heard then say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that come
And try to understand."
No Way God we can understand and accept! Applu Letdown by you
For you to love - while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care or him for Me?
He'll bring his smiles to gladden you,
And should this stay be brief
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this world over
In search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd
Life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor count the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to
Take him back again?"
I fancied that I heard then say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that come
And try to understand."
No Way God we can understand and accept! Applu Letdown by you
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The question what happened, where did you go, why did you go
I miss you
All through my life wondering why it was,
Always seems you lose when you need it the least,
I saw you leave, and yet don’t understand,
My mind is altered
I miss you
Never answer the question
I love you,
Applu Crushed
I miss you
All through my life wondering why it was,
Always seems you lose when you need it the least,
I saw you leave, and yet don’t understand,
My mind is altered
I miss you
Never answer the question
I love you,
Applu Crushed
Monday, September 18, 2006
I wanted to hope
I could not
Just to hold you
I could not
To ask you not to go.
I could not
Please. No
You never had a chance
And still I can’t even say good bye
You had to go alone
Never answer the question
I do love you
Can you hear me
Can you see me
Can you help me
As I wait an eternal wait
I will see you again
Together we will all be again
I will hold you again
I will always miss you
I will always love you, my Raja
Applu Collapsed
I could not
Just to hold you
I could not
To ask you not to go.
I could not
Please. No
You never had a chance
And still I can’t even say good bye
You had to go alone
Never answer the question
I do love you
Can you hear me
Can you see me
Can you help me
As I wait an eternal wait
I will see you again
Together we will all be again
I will hold you again
I will always miss you
I will always love you, my Raja
Applu Collapsed
Sunday, September 17, 2006
From the time you entered my heart with you first breath
You created your place within me
This place is happiness and Joy, special for a son
From the time you began to walk and talk
You created your style within me
Putting memories of joy, in your place special to you
From the time you began school;
I watched you grow and learn
To become the person you were meant to be
Creating happiness, your place.
From the time you became a young man
I began to realize that in time I would have to let you go
To build your own identity
Sadness and joy, your place.
From the time I watched you leave me on that dark day
I created a place for you
And named it sorrow, your place in my heart
Love eternally, Applu Broken
You created your place within me
This place is happiness and Joy, special for a son
From the time you began to walk and talk
You created your style within me
Putting memories of joy, in your place special to you
From the time you began school;
I watched you grow and learn
To become the person you were meant to be
Creating happiness, your place.
From the time you became a young man
I began to realize that in time I would have to let you go
To build your own identity
Sadness and joy, your place.
From the time I watched you leave me on that dark day
I created a place for you
And named it sorrow, your place in my heart
Love eternally, Applu Broken
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Damn the night
Damn this dream
Pray for the light and
Try not to scream
The link to life becomes
Link to death
Around the neck and squeezing out death
I beg for the day
I cry for my son
To look in his eyes
Or to know his cry
I offer my life
Just to understand why
God gave his son
But someone took mine
Was that you father
Please send me a sign
Grant me my answer and
I will serve thee divine
Christ died for our sins
Did Ramesh for mine
Damn this day and
Damn this light
Pray for a dream
Bring on the night
A dream of my child
And what should have been
A life with his family
Don’t let that dream end.
Applu Devastated
Damn this dream
Pray for the light and
Try not to scream
The link to life becomes
Link to death
Around the neck and squeezing out death
I beg for the day
I cry for my son
To look in his eyes
Or to know his cry
I offer my life
Just to understand why
God gave his son
But someone took mine
Was that you father
Please send me a sign
Grant me my answer and
I will serve thee divine
Christ died for our sins
Did Ramesh for mine
Damn this day and
Damn this light
Pray for a dream
Bring on the night
A dream of my child
And what should have been
A life with his family
Don’t let that dream end.
Applu Devastated
Friday, September 15, 2006
every step towards success is in ur thots and memories. Else how come i'm able to pull/push thru all this. the bender will take shape soon, under gani's filming. U will be watching me i'm sure... as u always have. miss you, as always. words dont say anything of what i want to. dont want to fill ur ears with vain verses. feelings and emotions i've felt - i've always shared them with you. u will always understand me. we will be friends forever. no matter who says wat... i know those night-long talks wn u've told me how much or how lil i mean to you. i know you... you know me...
just keep guiding me. or just do wat u r doing to me. watever it is... make me win. or make me. or just... words fail me.
i love you da... it doesnt say a bit of wat i feel inside... but helpless...
love you ever... as always...
Yours
Shags
just keep guiding me. or just do wat u r doing to me. watever it is... make me win. or make me. or just... words fail me.
i love you da... it doesnt say a bit of wat i feel inside... but helpless...
love you ever... as always...
Yours
Shags
They tell me you are at peace
I neither know nor care
You should be here with us
But never will again.
So in this aching emptiness
I spend my hours
In some sense waiting
To someday to be with you.
Applu
I neither know nor care
You should be here with us
But never will again.
So in this aching emptiness
I spend my hours
In some sense waiting
To someday to be with you.
Applu
Thursday, September 14, 2006
I lie down and close my eyes to get some sleep, you float in my eyes and I try to keep you cool with my tears. Do I sleep, I don’t know, am I awake, I don’t know. Sometimes I am conscious of the time, but mostly not. When I awake everyday, the question still remains is why you and why me and why ma and Gani. It hurts not knowing why. Everything goes by the clock, Harish and Gani leave for college, Ma goes for bath, alone I start my first cry of the day. I hate myself seeing in the mirror, I lost you forever and I feel guilty. When you were a kid, when I held in you in my hands, I was holding the whole world in my hands, when on 4th March, when I held your ashes in the urn, I was holding my life in the urn and I put it in the sea, you and me gone forever. Do I do anything really in the day, I don’t know, you keep me company in the office but you don’t touch me when I cry my heart out. Where do I search for you. Ma comes, takes me to our home of silence and what I do afterwards, I don’t know. I feel only hungry, physical pain and the grief, I eat, I lie down and close my eyes. I have become immune to other’s feelings.
When the day ends and when it starts I don’t know, I only know I am getting little closer to you and to know the ultimate truth.
Tell me da, God is supposed to judge all our actions, who judges God’s actions. What is the reason for him to take you away and make us suffer for nothing. Every one says God loves you more, so he took you away, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I love you more and I don’t know how take you away from him, God is unreasonable.
I am totally confused.
When the day ends and when it starts I don’t know, I only know I am getting little closer to you and to know the ultimate truth.
Tell me da, God is supposed to judge all our actions, who judges God’s actions. What is the reason for him to take you away and make us suffer for nothing. Every one says God loves you more, so he took you away, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I love you more and I don’t know how take you away from him, God is unreasonable.
I am totally confused.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we can not see you,
you are always by our side,
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we can not see you,
you are always by our side,
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
If we'd known it'd be the last time
You'd walk away from our door
We'd have grabbed you
And held you to the floor.
We'd have hugged you forever,
And stayed by your side,
Never letting you go
Until your Ma and I died.
You'd have done for us,
What we did for for you.
It'd have been as it should be.
You'd not know the pain we do.
Applu
You'd walk away from our door
We'd have grabbed you
And held you to the floor.
We'd have hugged you forever,
And stayed by your side,
Never letting you go
Until your Ma and I died.
You'd have done for us,
What we did for for you.
It'd have been as it should be.
You'd not know the pain we do.
Applu
Friday, September 08, 2006
Do Not Stand by my Grave and Weep.
I am not There, I do not Sleep.
I am a Thousand Winds that Blow,
I am a Diamond Glint on the Snow.
I am the Sunlight on Ripened Grain,
I am the Gentle Autumn Rain.
When you Awaken in the Morning's Hush,
I am the Swift Uplifting Rush
of Quiet Birds in Circled Flight.
I am the Soft Stars that Shine at Night.
Do Not Stand by my Grave and Cry.
I am not There, I did not Die
Where are you da, longing to know the answer, Applu
I am not There, I do not Sleep.
I am a Thousand Winds that Blow,
I am a Diamond Glint on the Snow.
I am the Sunlight on Ripened Grain,
I am the Gentle Autumn Rain.
When you Awaken in the Morning's Hush,
I am the Swift Uplifting Rush
of Quiet Birds in Circled Flight.
I am the Soft Stars that Shine at Night.
Do Not Stand by my Grave and Cry.
I am not There, I did not Die
Where are you da, longing to know the answer, Applu
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Raja
It is exactly six months before this day, I left you near Madya Kailash and you left me forever, taking with you my life. The only thing which mattered most was you and Gani and to this day, I was not showing that sort of consideration even for Ma. I feel so helpless, I am not able to reconcile, I am not able to accept you are not there. If you believed in my love, Gani’s devotion and Ma’s care, why did you leave us to suffer in your memory for the rest of our life. I see you everywhere, I hear your voice every minute and when I want to touch you, you are not there. You come in my dreams and when I hug you and try to hold on to you, you disappear.
Yesterday, Gani solved a tough problem, I could sense you watching him over his shoulder, I am sure you would not have solved it, but you would have felt very proud of him, he would have loved to have you say he did a great job. Each one of us was very proud of each other, we had it in our hearts. Then why did you disobey my only request to you not to drive a two wheeler ? Did you not think of your applu, ma and gani at that time. Without you, for every one of us, the circle is not complete, it is open, we don’t see things the same way when you were here with us, small things which we enjoyed and brought us happiness means nothing anymore.
Will we ever know the answer to the question, Why did you leave us ? Why do Ma and me have suffer like this at this age and Why your brother who idolized you has to go through this agony
Days, months, years may pass by, but for me, the time came to a stand still at the dusk of 3rd March. I am waiting for the final hug from you when you will not escape, but will take me with you, wherever you are.
Applu.
It is exactly six months before this day, I left you near Madya Kailash and you left me forever, taking with you my life. The only thing which mattered most was you and Gani and to this day, I was not showing that sort of consideration even for Ma. I feel so helpless, I am not able to reconcile, I am not able to accept you are not there. If you believed in my love, Gani’s devotion and Ma’s care, why did you leave us to suffer in your memory for the rest of our life. I see you everywhere, I hear your voice every minute and when I want to touch you, you are not there. You come in my dreams and when I hug you and try to hold on to you, you disappear.
Yesterday, Gani solved a tough problem, I could sense you watching him over his shoulder, I am sure you would not have solved it, but you would have felt very proud of him, he would have loved to have you say he did a great job. Each one of us was very proud of each other, we had it in our hearts. Then why did you disobey my only request to you not to drive a two wheeler ? Did you not think of your applu, ma and gani at that time. Without you, for every one of us, the circle is not complete, it is open, we don’t see things the same way when you were here with us, small things which we enjoyed and brought us happiness means nothing anymore.
Will we ever know the answer to the question, Why did you leave us ? Why do Ma and me have suffer like this at this age and Why your brother who idolized you has to go through this agony
Days, months, years may pass by, but for me, the time came to a stand still at the dusk of 3rd March. I am waiting for the final hug from you when you will not escape, but will take me with you, wherever you are.
Applu.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Don’t know, why, for the past 4 days, I am unable to forget you for a minute, my heart keeps aching and I am longing to see you. I feel you here, but I am not able to reach you, I keep talking to you in my mind, are you trying to reach your Applu, do you need something, do you want your Applu by your side for something, I don’t know, but I feel you. My heart is bleeding, because I feel so helpless and I don’t know how to reach you. I sense a sort of invisible curtain between you and me preventing me from reaching you. How did you have the heart to leave us da. I still keep the hope of seeing you and talking to you sometime, I don’t know how and when, but I will keep up that hope. Applu.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Miss u da poriki..my fellow outsider. Can u see the new world i am in? Do u see it the way i see it..really wish i could talk to u now. There's so much we'd discuss bout.. When i think of our palace visits, i shrink and close my eyes to relive those sweet memories and not to cry.
U stand before me a million times in class.. always there to say proud to have u my galadriel. life is beautiful my zorro. Hear me talk to u..Hear my thoughts on the world u left...it will guide u to peace.
much love,your galadriel..
U stand before me a million times in class.. always there to say proud to have u my galadriel. life is beautiful my zorro. Hear me talk to u..Hear my thoughts on the world u left...it will guide u to peace.
much love,your galadriel..
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
the time has finally arrived......ur brother stepping into college....a new phase phase of my life beckons.....im crying after a long long time....why??? cuz i dreamed tat u would walk wit me to coll....now also i know u would but the thing is tat i wont be able to see u....walk wit me my GOD....stick wit me....give me hope....courage and bless me....i shall take on all challenges and i shall step out on top when it matters the most....i shall save my brothers name....i swear it....just look after me....
love u man
missing u
ganesh
love u man
missing u
ganesh
Monday, August 28, 2006
The saying about 3 things in Life :
Three things in life, that may never be lost
Peace, hope, honesty
Untrue – Only thing in life, that may never be lost is your Children.
Three things in life, that are most valuable
Love, Self-Confidence & Friends
Untrue – The only valuable thing in life is your children
Three things in life that can destroy a man
Alcohol, Pride, Anger
Untrue – The parting of your children, physically and mentally
Three things in life that once lost, hard to build up
Respect, Trust, Friendship
Untrue – The life of my Raja, lost forever and never possible to build up
Three things in life that never fail
True love, determination, belief
Untrue – In my Life, every one of them failed.
Three things in life, that may never be lost
Peace, hope, honesty
Untrue – Only thing in life, that may never be lost is your Children.
Three things in life, that are most valuable
Love, Self-Confidence & Friends
Untrue – The only valuable thing in life is your children
Three things in life that can destroy a man
Alcohol, Pride, Anger
Untrue – The parting of your children, physically and mentally
Three things in life that once lost, hard to build up
Respect, Trust, Friendship
Untrue – The life of my Raja, lost forever and never possible to build up
Three things in life that never fail
True love, determination, belief
Untrue – In my Life, every one of them failed.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
hi.....my first birthday without u.......first time this is ever happening so its a weird feeling......i realise i have a long life ahead of me without u......talk to me man.....stick wit me.....
bye
ganesh
bye
ganesh
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Hi Raja
I have tried my best, but it is just not possible to forget you and carry on as though nothing has happened. I long to see you, I can not accept I can not see you any more, it may sound funny to others, but I will keep the hope of seeing you someday, I don’t know when and where, but I don’t want to lose that hope. At least keep coming in my dreams. More some one tells me to accept the reality, more I get depressed. Miss you da, Applu
I have tried my best, but it is just not possible to forget you and carry on as though nothing has happened. I long to see you, I can not accept I can not see you any more, it may sound funny to others, but I will keep the hope of seeing you someday, I don’t know when and where, but I don’t want to lose that hope. At least keep coming in my dreams. More some one tells me to accept the reality, more I get depressed. Miss you da, Applu
Friday, August 18, 2006
Dude...
i wanna stay in the state of disbelief of ur absence. u r with me or maybe in UTA. i'm mailing you. thats wat i'd like to think.
i'm moving closer towards bys enterprises. i finally sourced wat motor to use for our bending machine. gears will be bought for plan B as it has to be a two step reduction mostly. as for plan A, i have to design the bevel gears and install the system at AGNI. Sent them a report of plan A. thats wat they precisely want.Plan B must be designed, manufactured, labeled and sold. i'll try patenting it.
BYS is coming up with the any-zize-carton bundling machine very soon. dont worry. i'm holding up ur reputation. i love you.
you are my hero, ALWAYS
Luv
Shags
i wanna stay in the state of disbelief of ur absence. u r with me or maybe in UTA. i'm mailing you. thats wat i'd like to think.
i'm moving closer towards bys enterprises. i finally sourced wat motor to use for our bending machine. gears will be bought for plan B as it has to be a two step reduction mostly. as for plan A, i have to design the bevel gears and install the system at AGNI. Sent them a report of plan A. thats wat they precisely want.Plan B must be designed, manufactured, labeled and sold. i'll try patenting it.
BYS is coming up with the any-zize-carton bundling machine very soon. dont worry. i'm holding up ur reputation. i love you.
you are my hero, ALWAYS
Luv
Shags
Thursday, August 17, 2006
dude...
i've figured out a real good mechanism for the bending machine. i'll make it happen. i hope things work out real well. i'll start BYS and get it registered very soon. dreams begin to realise. life still goes on. wish u were here. miss u
Luv
Shags
i've figured out a real good mechanism for the bending machine. i'll make it happen. i hope things work out real well. i'll start BYS and get it registered very soon. dreams begin to realise. life still goes on. wish u were here. miss u
Luv
Shags
Sunday, August 13, 2006
BORN TO BE A STAR
dei...
me back... CEE (chief executive engineer) of BYS enterprises. dude... the bundler is in the godown. now looking into the prospects of a bending machine. i suggested them this idea wn we went there together but now here i am working full fledged on it. If my ideas are better than theirs, i'd make them an offer they cant refuse. i'll cut a real fair deal and make the parts in chennai (ennore foundaries for the humungous rack gear) or coimbatore and assemble it all and take the money. keep watching me. i feel comfortable when i feel ur warm presence. i miss u much more than words can say. every engg project that is a success, every day in rotaract - needless to say, it is dedicated to you, brother. guide me thru the seemingly dark road ahead. with u around, its always lit.
love you da
Shags
dei...
me back... CEE (chief executive engineer) of BYS enterprises. dude... the bundler is in the godown. now looking into the prospects of a bending machine. i suggested them this idea wn we went there together but now here i am working full fledged on it. If my ideas are better than theirs, i'd make them an offer they cant refuse. i'll cut a real fair deal and make the parts in chennai (ennore foundaries for the humungous rack gear) or coimbatore and assemble it all and take the money. keep watching me. i feel comfortable when i feel ur warm presence. i miss u much more than words can say. every engg project that is a success, every day in rotaract - needless to say, it is dedicated to you, brother. guide me thru the seemingly dark road ahead. with u around, its always lit.
love you da
Shags
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Raja,
One of the few things I wanted was you to be with me when Gani joins college, to assist him and me. Guide him through and look after him. He has joined the college which I believe is the best he can go to, I don’t know what you would have advised us to do. At least take care of him, wherever you are and whichever manner possible. I don’t know da, whether with half my life gone with you, whether I can ever be normal (every one advise me to, expects me to, wants me to, how funny !!!), now I live the other half only for Gani. With one eye gone, you can still see the world, but it is not the same like seeing the world with two eyes. applu
One of the few things I wanted was you to be with me when Gani joins college, to assist him and me. Guide him through and look after him. He has joined the college which I believe is the best he can go to, I don’t know what you would have advised us to do. At least take care of him, wherever you are and whichever manner possible. I don’t know da, whether with half my life gone with you, whether I can ever be normal (every one advise me to, expects me to, wants me to, how funny !!!), now I live the other half only for Gani. With one eye gone, you can still see the world, but it is not the same like seeing the world with two eyes. applu
Friday, August 04, 2006
Zorro,
where'd u go???
i talk...i nod.. i flash an eaten-up smile... i see words spill out..i feel knife-edged tears ..i'm numb and happy. i close my eyes , i see u. i open them , i see u.
i've at least achieved something now-got everyone to stop worrying bout me.
Dearth of truth.
i rest in peace like u
i will speak up only when u do.
you are my hero.
MY ZORRO.
ONE REASON WHY I STILL BELIEVE IN THE MAGIC OF LIFE....UNDYING LOVE FOR A FELLOW OUTSIDER.
u know what i'm craving for.U KNOW I'M A TRUTH ADDICT. u know it too well. and i know u're telling me to wait. i will bujji. i will cos,
I BELIEVE IN U.
I BELIEVE IN THE GANGA YOU CREATED.
I BELIEVE IN OUR PAIN.
much love,
YOUR GALADRIEL
where'd u go???
i talk...i nod.. i flash an eaten-up smile... i see words spill out..i feel knife-edged tears ..i'm numb and happy. i close my eyes , i see u. i open them , i see u.
i've at least achieved something now-got everyone to stop worrying bout me.
Dearth of truth.
i rest in peace like u
i will speak up only when u do.
you are my hero.
MY ZORRO.
ONE REASON WHY I STILL BELIEVE IN THE MAGIC OF LIFE....UNDYING LOVE FOR A FELLOW OUTSIDER.
u know what i'm craving for.U KNOW I'M A TRUTH ADDICT. u know it too well. and i know u're telling me to wait. i will bujji. i will cos,
I BELIEVE IN U.
I BELIEVE IN THE GANGA YOU CREATED.
I BELIEVE IN OUR PAIN.
much love,
YOUR GALADRIEL
Thursday, August 03, 2006
dude...
back from the long trip. things will go smooth as i perceive them. the bundler will be made very soon. miss u da. very tired now. will blog again soon.
Luv
Shags
back from the long trip. things will go smooth as i perceive them. the bundler will be made very soon. miss u da. very tired now. will blog again soon.
Luv
Shags
Friday, July 28, 2006
dey......i was wondering.....now that your with god.......ask him one question on his face......what did our family do wrong??? what did applu do wrong??? what did we all do wrong to deserve this??? as far as i know our family has done nothing but good and not to mention applu. the things he s done. seriously he's god.why such a suffering for him. i cant bear to see him like this. dont u remember all this times we had as a family. u me amma and applu. now do u think we can ever have a vacation without u.u have no idea how much i cry when i see my friends going with their families for a vacation. hurts me so much.think and see, the only thing tat gives applu happiness "WAS" u and me. now sorrow has dissolved everything and even the happiness he has left in me is fading cuz of u. why??? why did u leave us. no forget us. why did u leave him?? i have my friends to give me happiness??? what does he have left?? don say its me......its really hard.ok fine you ve left us......if u really miss us and feel bad, u have to make a sacrifice for me. i don care what u do but u have to make applu forget u. i know its hard on u also but u have to deserve this. atleast for my sake. u think i can be ahppy if he s thinkning about u so much. if ur watching me im sure u would be able to see why im so detached from him and the rest of the family. cuz they are still thinking about u. trust me the only way i can be myself is for applu to accept the fact that u are no more and no force can bring u back alive and its time to realise and relish wat he has left his life.don worry ill make him proud but only if u do this for me.i know its hard but pls do it. your name will live on forever leave that to me. i promise if not now, in the future ppl will be able to see you in me. for so long i was no more than a shadow to u. ive realised tat its time to slowly change into u. ill do it but only if u do wat i tell u soon otherwise beyond a period of time im sure my mind will be lost forever and ganesh will be present only physically but his mind wont be normal anymore. so we have a deal. u do wat i told u and ill do keep up my word. hurry up!!!! the clock is ticking. i hope u know wat i mean.
take care
till next time
ganesh
p.s remember time is the main factor.
take care
till next time
ganesh
p.s remember time is the main factor.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
dude...
hope i'm doing my duties well. i cant take over u. i can at least take after u. i had bhai biryani after long today. oh those days... oh those beautiful looks on ur serene face. how is it that u bring tears to my eyes in a jiffy? only u'll know y. but i wont cry. bundler is gonna be born soon. i need to perfect the design b4 i show it to them. got quite some work to do. cried the other day on my way from kilpauk garden rd to abhirami. u'll know y. i miss u. i miss ur nonsense tamil. i miss ur pachcha satta. i miss u inexpressibly.
I love you more than that
Shags
hope i'm doing my duties well. i cant take over u. i can at least take after u. i had bhai biryani after long today. oh those days... oh those beautiful looks on ur serene face. how is it that u bring tears to my eyes in a jiffy? only u'll know y. but i wont cry. bundler is gonna be born soon. i need to perfect the design b4 i show it to them. got quite some work to do. cried the other day on my way from kilpauk garden rd to abhirami. u'll know y. i miss u. i miss ur nonsense tamil. i miss ur pachcha satta. i miss u inexpressibly.
I love you more than that
Shags
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Raja,
It hurts me badly. I did not sleep yesterday, keep remembering to-day you have to go for visa, I know you are not there, but I could not sleep. Of late you used to be so much away from home, I long to see you those few minutes in a day and hope to wait for the days like today to accompany you, so that I can be with you for more time. You would have called me and told me you got the Visa and just to hear you say that over phone, I would give my life. It is your happiness, which was priceless to me. I also knew, probably this day will be the last I will accompany you as your applu and you would have gone to US and you would have started living your own life. I was prepared for that and I never intend troubling you in your life with me accompanying you wherever you go. I was prepared for that loneliness. But I would have had the chance to see you at least for a few minutes and hear your voice once a while. I was not prepared for this loneliness and void.
Is that why you left us forever, so that I won’t forget you for a minute. I live in constant emptiness, without knowing where am I going, what am I doing, the only thing I do is to keep thinking of you, your smile, your voice and so many things you did from the day you were born. More the day passes, more the longing is. Your bunch of favorite shirts, which I keep with my dress, I hug them often to feel you. Love you forever….Applu
It hurts me badly. I did not sleep yesterday, keep remembering to-day you have to go for visa, I know you are not there, but I could not sleep. Of late you used to be so much away from home, I long to see you those few minutes in a day and hope to wait for the days like today to accompany you, so that I can be with you for more time. You would have called me and told me you got the Visa and just to hear you say that over phone, I would give my life. It is your happiness, which was priceless to me. I also knew, probably this day will be the last I will accompany you as your applu and you would have gone to US and you would have started living your own life. I was prepared for that and I never intend troubling you in your life with me accompanying you wherever you go. I was prepared for that loneliness. But I would have had the chance to see you at least for a few minutes and hear your voice once a while. I was not prepared for this loneliness and void.
Is that why you left us forever, so that I won’t forget you for a minute. I live in constant emptiness, without knowing where am I going, what am I doing, the only thing I do is to keep thinking of you, your smile, your voice and so many things you did from the day you were born. More the day passes, more the longing is. Your bunch of favorite shirts, which I keep with my dress, I hug them often to feel you. Love you forever….Applu
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Hi Raja
After 142 days, for the first time you came in my dream that lasted may be a minute and I saw you just like before and you allowed me to hug you for a few seconds. What a feeling. For the first time since 3rd march, I felt happiness, may be for a short time. We were to go to some unknown place, are you saying something to me, da. Please allow me to see you like this and come in my dreams, that is more than adequate. Hope you remember, you have an appointment on 25th for Visa.
Yours Applu, who will never forget you for a minute forever.
After 142 days, for the first time you came in my dream that lasted may be a minute and I saw you just like before and you allowed me to hug you for a few seconds. What a feeling. For the first time since 3rd march, I felt happiness, may be for a short time. We were to go to some unknown place, are you saying something to me, da. Please allow me to see you like this and come in my dreams, that is more than adequate. Hope you remember, you have an appointment on 25th for Visa.
Yours Applu, who will never forget you for a minute forever.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
see i told u......god took the wrong person......my worst fears have come true......ppl are comparing u with me......i agree ur a better person than me......i still havent had a chance to prove my worth......why are ppl like tat???? they re like if ramesh was here he wud have done this and ur not doing it.....no use mentioning who said it.....whats said is said.....i knew everybody felt like tat and finally i heard it out of a mouth.....its just a pin prick i tell u.....but its straight through my heart......enough of this......come back man......only u can save me......wat did i do wrong to deserve this??? tell me.....wat did i wrong?? im waiting for an answer.... come back, come back !!!!!!
ganesh
ganesh
Monday, July 17, 2006
Dude...
Thanks for coming in my dream again. How come u failed in a tooling paper? thot u loved mfg. I saw ma react very normal. Maybe i must've simulated how she reacted wn u lost ur fone. And wat was that towards the end of the dream... you wanna be with us forever.Maybe u r with us and its just we ppl who are way too numb cos v were way too hurt by ur absence that we dont feel ur presence around. But I understand u r around. I want you by my side all the time. I've not been to besant's in all this while. I only went to cozee once and that too with Gani. Otherwise, its just not the same old me. I've set ur pic as my wallpaper and i feel the urge to finish off bundler asap so that we can patent it and release it into the Market. It's still BYS and u r the spiritual leader.
Love you
Shags
Thanks for coming in my dream again. How come u failed in a tooling paper? thot u loved mfg. I saw ma react very normal. Maybe i must've simulated how she reacted wn u lost ur fone. And wat was that towards the end of the dream... you wanna be with us forever.Maybe u r with us and its just we ppl who are way too numb cos v were way too hurt by ur absence that we dont feel ur presence around. But I understand u r around. I want you by my side all the time. I've not been to besant's in all this while. I only went to cozee once and that too with Gani. Otherwise, its just not the same old me. I've set ur pic as my wallpaper and i feel the urge to finish off bundler asap so that we can patent it and release it into the Market. It's still BYS and u r the spiritual leader.
Love you
Shags
Thursday, July 13, 2006
dude...
I felt real bad to hv made applu cry. It dug deep inside to see tears down his eyes. Come back some day just to make him smile. Please. I love you. If by staying away, i'd help him feel better, i may do that. but ur dream - bys bundler - should be a hit. I'll do wat it takes. I miss you WBR. U r always me hero.
Cant believe u r just not around.
Luv
Shags
I felt real bad to hv made applu cry. It dug deep inside to see tears down his eyes. Come back some day just to make him smile. Please. I love you. If by staying away, i'd help him feel better, i may do that. but ur dream - bys bundler - should be a hit. I'll do wat it takes. I miss you WBR. U r always me hero.
Cant believe u r just not around.
Luv
Shags
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
I wake up to the third of another month, I open my eyes,
My eyes still search for him, this pain never dies,
Four months I cried, these tears don't run dry,
To let him go, let his image fade away, I try,
He will always be my bro, the one who promised never to leave me,
When I close my eyes, his beautiful smile I see,
Bro, come back to this place where there is no love or hate,
Your hand I will never let go, look back, it is never too late.
I love you, Bro. Missing you.
My eyes still search for him, this pain never dies,
Four months I cried, these tears don't run dry,
To let him go, let his image fade away, I try,
He will always be my bro, the one who promised never to leave me,
When I close my eyes, his beautiful smile I see,
Bro, come back to this place where there is no love or hate,
Your hand I will never let go, look back, it is never too late.
I love you, Bro. Missing you.
Monday, July 10, 2006
I just saw this “AirTel” ad. “Two word “Quit India” brought down an Empire, 1 Million candles can bring down a war, THE POWER OF HUMAN EXPRESSION”
From how many human beings and What form of Expression will have the power to bring back this smile ?
Yesterday night, when I was lying in bed, eyes closed, Gani called me Applu, just like you used to call me, for a second, when I opened my eyes, I thought it is you, he looks like you,
I miss you Raja, all the body pain and high fever did not prevent me from forgetting you, when I close my eyes, you are just floating in the cool of my tears.
Applu
Thursday, July 06, 2006
ha ha the saying "Nothing lasts forever, even cold november rain" makes so much sense now. dey u know something i always wondered why u were called base. i didnt ask anybody, but now i sorta figured it out myself. don worry i wont tell anybody and ill make sure i don get a nick name like tat ever. im so sorry i couldnt do much on ur bday. i guess u shd be knowing why. anyways i just had high fever again for 3 days, i went to a hosp also. i missed u so much cuz u were the one beside me when i was admitted in apollo last year and ur the one who told me not to bug the nurses by my tantrums. i kept that in my mind this time. u know i was thinking. what was the last thing u ever told me while u were here.........i tht it was the all the best u told me for my exam tat day but no it wasnt, i remember u were asleep when i left. its not good night, never have we said good night to each other. seriously i dunno, i think it would have been poi paddi or have u finished studying. let me keep it like tat till i find out. dey u missed the marriage, more than me freaking out im sure it wud have been u. everybody came. after so many years i was seeing them all together.i missed u a lot then. i know i wud have been left out if u were there but now i feel it wud have been ok cuz u wud have then and there come and given me company like u always do. in the end was i supposed to know tat nothing else matters...............
ganesh
ganesh
Dei...
I dnt care y zizu's goal could not be saved. i dnt care y our guys missed so many goals. i dnt care y we couldn't make it to even extratime. i dnt care abt portugal not having made it to the finals but all i regret is u r not here to shout "oh Scr..." cos i would've stayed over at ur place to watch the match and v wud've been back from our usual night out eats. sigh...
I miss you loverman
Miss u brother...
Wherever u r... Remember, I still love you the same way. not a day passes without my thinking of you. I love You. I wanna make u feel how much i miss you.Tho i dint go to little hearts, i remember ur having told me abt ur wanting to go there. I didnt laugh at u but i smiled in respect and told yuppie abt it. I wish v went there together. Aen Da? Y did u hv to do this to me? i'm gonna go to Krishnaveni theatre with Yuppie but the bery thot of that theatre reminds me only of u n i watching gilli there in harley's last few working days.
I want u back on earth just for a small span called a lifetime. Its something not beyond wat humans are greedy for in this god-forsaken planet. just a lifetime...
I know one thing for sure. tho i dnt believe much in friendship, u wud've been one guy i'd've stayed in touch with for a real real real long time to come. Sigh...
I love you n miss u infinitely
Shags
I dnt care y zizu's goal could not be saved. i dnt care y our guys missed so many goals. i dnt care y we couldn't make it to even extratime. i dnt care abt portugal not having made it to the finals but all i regret is u r not here to shout "oh Scr..." cos i would've stayed over at ur place to watch the match and v wud've been back from our usual night out eats. sigh...
I miss you loverman
Miss u brother...
Wherever u r... Remember, I still love you the same way. not a day passes without my thinking of you. I love You. I wanna make u feel how much i miss you.Tho i dint go to little hearts, i remember ur having told me abt ur wanting to go there. I didnt laugh at u but i smiled in respect and told yuppie abt it. I wish v went there together. Aen Da? Y did u hv to do this to me? i'm gonna go to Krishnaveni theatre with Yuppie but the bery thot of that theatre reminds me only of u n i watching gilli there in harley's last few working days.
I want u back on earth just for a small span called a lifetime. Its something not beyond wat humans are greedy for in this god-forsaken planet. just a lifetime...
I know one thing for sure. tho i dnt believe much in friendship, u wud've been one guy i'd've stayed in touch with for a real real real long time to come. Sigh...
I love you n miss u infinitely
Shags
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
hey rum, i was in chennai this week, my first there without you dude!the place isn't the same without you brother!!saw the same old places, the beach, cool cats, dhaba express, khana khazana, pizza corner...!Dude, i couldn't think of anything but the silly things we did there!how i wish you were here!this song just plays in an infinite loop in my head brother,
"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."
-vivek
"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."
-vivek
hey rum, i was in chennai this week, my first there without you dude!the place isn't the same without you brother!!saw the same old places, the beach, cool cats, dhaba express, khana khazana, pizza corner...!Dude, i couldn't think of anything but the silly things we did there!how i wish you were here!this song just plays in an infinite loop in my head brother,
"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."
-vivek
"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."
-vivek
Saturday, July 01, 2006
I promised not to cry on your birthday because it is a day to rejoice, but could not control myself when I saw your ma for the first time so upset. Sorry da. But I will keep the other promise I made. I did everything to please you on your birthday, to gift your money by SW and spending the evening in Little Hearts to bring happiness and smile to those children of God. So many of your friends came, if you have asked them before to come to Little hearts, they would have laughed, but by parting from them, you have made them to come to Little Hearts and I am sure some of them will certainly help them, not only in your memory, but also on their own. Nobody in this world, how godly he may be will know where exactly you are, in what form you are, but one thing for sure, you as Raja, Rami, Eaash, daaei, and with so many names will always remain in our heart. You are an angel always, guide us, bye my Angel. Applu
Friday, June 30, 2006
Dei...
I didnt wanna stay in chennai on ur birthday without u. I come back home this morning to c an envelope from the courier service u used from my house to send an applic. went to my room n cried my heart out. but all thru yesterday, i did something u would love to hear of me. i really love you Dude. I wanna c u happy. May be i cant c u. but i know u r really happy. i got u a cute gift from Phuket which i and only i shall preserve and cherish in ur sweet memeory. I will always love u the same way. I stand this day listening to songs that relate me to u. A belated birthday dedication is "Only the good die young" - billy joel, not maiden.
i love you Ramesh. I always will. I had certain other things in mind to do but i chose not to cos u know y. but i celebrated ur birthday in a way u'll love.
Always ur lover and brother
Shags
I didnt wanna stay in chennai on ur birthday without u. I come back home this morning to c an envelope from the courier service u used from my house to send an applic. went to my room n cried my heart out. but all thru yesterday, i did something u would love to hear of me. i really love you Dude. I wanna c u happy. May be i cant c u. but i know u r really happy. i got u a cute gift from Phuket which i and only i shall preserve and cherish in ur sweet memeory. I will always love u the same way. I stand this day listening to songs that relate me to u. A belated birthday dedication is "Only the good die young" - billy joel, not maiden.
i love you Ramesh. I always will. I had certain other things in mind to do but i chose not to cos u know y. but i celebrated ur birthday in a way u'll love.
Always ur lover and brother
Shags
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Raja,
This day, when I saw you, 22 years before, after all the years of struggle in my life, I felt I am finally blessed with something so beautiful, a happiness I never ever felt in my life. Since then, you gave me so much of happiness as a child, as a boy and as a man. I remember the days you first walked, called me applu, your fear of crackers, your love for road engines, your saying your name is amechi, your cry when we left you for the first time in Sishya, your refusing to go to school because Nataraj is beating you, your acting in annual school day programs, your thrill of first flight, your writing the exam at Vanavani, various days I dropped you in school and waited for you in school, being with you when you wrote your entrance and jointly attending counseling, sitting with you in Venkateswara for admission, waiting for your semester results, so many holidays together, your only dance I saw on Ma’s birthday, waiting for you to come back home on countless days, your fondness for gee masala dosai in Balaji Bhavan, sitting with you to apply for visa, the sheer joy of seeing you leaning on the wall of bus stand on 2nd March and leaving you on 3rd March at Madya Kailash junction when you said Bye (for ever).
Every year, this day, first thing I give you the birthday card, just to hear you say, thank you applu and shake hands. Where are you da, please come and say thanks applu and shake my hands.
Raja, Eeshu, Deyee, Ma, Dude, Zorro, Base, Machan, Amechi, Ramesha and with how many more names, your immortal soul was called, answer one call now.
Why did you make me, ma, Gani, Snow White, Shags, Ganga, Ram, Priya and I don’t know how many more to love you so much, you thought you had enough of our love to leave us.
We realize now, the meaning of happiness, YOU.
This is a call from the souls of your applu, ma and your darling brother and Snow white who all loved you more than anything else. Answer us.
You can’t read Tamil, so I am writing this in English for you.
“Inbutru Uyer Koduthen unakku
Uyer vittu thunbam thandhai enakku
Uerutti valartha unnai
Advan karaindu nitram ezhum kadalil
Sidaikku neruppittu unnai karaithen
En kanneeril karaithirundal
Kan moodi unnai kathiruppen
Sitrarival engum thedugiren unnai
Agatharival kan moodum nall anre ariven unnai
Kathirekkiren, natkalai ennikkondu “
For me, you are there da in Gani and now you have given me an adorable daughter.
I received a message from Gani, I am very very proud of being the Applu of you Two. The days we spent together are too precious for me. No regrets.
Applu.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
"you may come..not tomo. you may go..but never away from me. " These were your words to me. I tell u the same now. missing u my zorro.
love ,
Galadriel
love ,
Galadriel
Monday, June 26, 2006
hi da
i'm back. missed u this trip too. once the wednesday function is over i'm planning to take a short break so that i can start working on the bundler from july first onwards. will visit ur folks soon. dnt worry i'm just fine. i still hv not outgrown of missing u cos ... u know y. but i really wish v both were to host a combined birthday party.
blog u soon again. still sleepy n tired. love u loads da
luv
Shags
i'm back. missed u this trip too. once the wednesday function is over i'm planning to take a short break so that i can start working on the bundler from july first onwards. will visit ur folks soon. dnt worry i'm just fine. i still hv not outgrown of missing u cos ... u know y. but i really wish v both were to host a combined birthday party.
blog u soon again. still sleepy n tired. love u loads da
luv
Shags
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
hey, this is a part of chapter 13 from my book....it sorta describes in brief the grief i went through.....the highlighted part reads it out.....don worry i will send it to u in detail pretty soon....
Jake came out triumphantly from the recording room with a gleam on his face. He found his partner sitting in a corner with a paper in his hand and all curled up. “Will, what’s up with you?” Will held out a paper to him. He took it and scanned it from top to bottom twice. “What’s up with this? Why are you like this?” He stood up and pointed to the surname of Burke Johnson and to the line below it. Jake read out “ Duke Johnson”. Will pointed at his badge. It read Will Johnson. “Could it be” Jake started before Will interrupted, “Yes!! Duke Johnson is my dad. And this is the secret my dad always wanted to tell me. He had another son. I had a brother. I remember seeing my dad in his deathbed long ago. He took my hand and struggled to tell me something. Choking out he said something like seek out your blood and that was the last thing he said. Now I know what he meant.” Will said wiping the tears that had started to come from his eyes. Jake gave Will a hug. “Its okay man, you got another brother don’t you” he said. “Thanks a lot man, Your the best” Will choked out. Jake could understand how bad his felt. Losing a brother was the worst tragedy that can happen in anybody’s life. It was a long lost sad memory of his fall and now with Will in his arms it came up fresh. Jake was very young, probably 17 doing his last year of high school. Nearing graduation day one day while he was sleeping his grandma who was crying waked him up. He got to know the news that his brother had met with a bike accident and was lying serious in the hospital very far. He was helpless and wanted to go see him but couldn’t. He gathered all his friends around to keep himself from losing hope which he didn’t do from the start. He always believed my elder brother will beat all odds and step back beside. Not for a second he cried nor was he scared. But then suddenly news came from his mother that his brother was no more. He sank to his knees and shouted out in pain. For three whole days he cried his heart out watching his near and dear ones also share the grief. Till the moment he saw his brother no more. That was the moment Jake gathered strength and decided this world rests on my shoulders and I cant show my grief anymore. My brother would want me happy. Years after that he cried here and there but never in front of others. He hid his grief to himself. Past had been long forgotten since then but he couldn’t help remembering after seeing Will’s tears. “I think you need sometime on your time. Take tomorrow off man. I’m serious” Jake said understanding the pain. Will managed a smile and walked away. Jake couldn’t bear this sight. He himself decided he needed a break and decided to sort out his personal feelings and then get back to work. He took his black SUV to a very big mansion near the edge. He walked up the porch with his head down. He rang the bell. A lady of perhaps 60 opened the door. He flung his arms around her. “Welcome home son!” She said. Hearing the commotion his dad came from upstairs. He was also very happy to have seen him. After years Jake finally his father’s happy which had spent so many years in darkness.
hope your happy ....
bye for now
ganesh
Jake came out triumphantly from the recording room with a gleam on his face. He found his partner sitting in a corner with a paper in his hand and all curled up. “Will, what’s up with you?” Will held out a paper to him. He took it and scanned it from top to bottom twice. “What’s up with this? Why are you like this?” He stood up and pointed to the surname of Burke Johnson and to the line below it. Jake read out “ Duke Johnson”. Will pointed at his badge. It read Will Johnson. “Could it be” Jake started before Will interrupted, “Yes!! Duke Johnson is my dad. And this is the secret my dad always wanted to tell me. He had another son. I had a brother. I remember seeing my dad in his deathbed long ago. He took my hand and struggled to tell me something. Choking out he said something like seek out your blood and that was the last thing he said. Now I know what he meant.” Will said wiping the tears that had started to come from his eyes. Jake gave Will a hug. “Its okay man, you got another brother don’t you” he said. “Thanks a lot man, Your the best” Will choked out. Jake could understand how bad his felt. Losing a brother was the worst tragedy that can happen in anybody’s life. It was a long lost sad memory of his fall and now with Will in his arms it came up fresh. Jake was very young, probably 17 doing his last year of high school. Nearing graduation day one day while he was sleeping his grandma who was crying waked him up. He got to know the news that his brother had met with a bike accident and was lying serious in the hospital very far. He was helpless and wanted to go see him but couldn’t. He gathered all his friends around to keep himself from losing hope which he didn’t do from the start. He always believed my elder brother will beat all odds and step back beside. Not for a second he cried nor was he scared. But then suddenly news came from his mother that his brother was no more. He sank to his knees and shouted out in pain. For three whole days he cried his heart out watching his near and dear ones also share the grief. Till the moment he saw his brother no more. That was the moment Jake gathered strength and decided this world rests on my shoulders and I cant show my grief anymore. My brother would want me happy. Years after that he cried here and there but never in front of others. He hid his grief to himself. Past had been long forgotten since then but he couldn’t help remembering after seeing Will’s tears. “I think you need sometime on your time. Take tomorrow off man. I’m serious” Jake said understanding the pain. Will managed a smile and walked away. Jake couldn’t bear this sight. He himself decided he needed a break and decided to sort out his personal feelings and then get back to work. He took his black SUV to a very big mansion near the edge. He walked up the porch with his head down. He rang the bell. A lady of perhaps 60 opened the door. He flung his arms around her. “Welcome home son!” She said. Hearing the commotion his dad came from upstairs. He was also very happy to have seen him. After years Jake finally his father’s happy which had spent so many years in darkness.
hope your happy ....
bye for now
ganesh
Friday, June 16, 2006
hey etchai
i know u miss me, we had all the fun too soon, because i had to leave early. i was always jealous of your strength and guts and boldness. why r u crying da, i left u early but i gave you some one else to take care of you who is better than me and dearer to me like u, you know whom i mean, you only knew everything and i told you every thing. you are a tough guy, you have to do what i left behind to do, you have to take care of ma, applu and patti and you are crying, idiot wake up. i am always with you, fulfil my dreams, which i could not do, i am in you, nowhere else. love you etchai as always. next time cheer me up, i can't rest if i keep getting all these sick messages and all these crying messages from all of you. i have to rest some time and i can do so only if you take over from me and stand by me. by the way, don't keep getting sick again, it bothers me, take care, i am watching you, waiting for a real cheerful message from you like you always used to cheer me up when I am down.
i know u miss me, we had all the fun too soon, because i had to leave early. i was always jealous of your strength and guts and boldness. why r u crying da, i left u early but i gave you some one else to take care of you who is better than me and dearer to me like u, you know whom i mean, you only knew everything and i told you every thing. you are a tough guy, you have to do what i left behind to do, you have to take care of ma, applu and patti and you are crying, idiot wake up. i am always with you, fulfil my dreams, which i could not do, i am in you, nowhere else. love you etchai as always. next time cheer me up, i can't rest if i keep getting all these sick messages and all these crying messages from all of you. i have to rest some time and i can do so only if you take over from me and stand by me. by the way, don't keep getting sick again, it bothers me, take care, i am watching you, waiting for a real cheerful message from you like you always used to cheer me up when I am down.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
its hard to say tat my tears have dried up....well they havent....im still trying to accept the fact tat ur not here with me but i cant....everything i do it reflects a memory saying the last time i did this ramesh was there....when i was thinking of my football matches at AISC, the best of my life then i suddenly remember, that time ramesh was there and now he s not....i dunno how to take this torture anymore....i just came back from blore....trust me it was so empty....with u there it would have been great....atlest now give me the strength and courage to stand alone....hey by the way, im sick right now, come back and take care of me and cry for me like u did when i had dengue....maybe i should get dengue again....only then u ll come back....see man what im trying to say is im showing myself to be as brave but i cant forget a single moment and im crying inside every second....i was actually dreaming of danceing in the rain when patti woke me up tat fatefull day....she was crying and she said im scared cuz ramesh met wit an accident and he s serious....wait for like five days....if u can read this blog then ill write down about those two days from my point of view....then u ll know how it was....maybe then u ll come back....right now i trust ur beside me reading wat im writing....im feeling around myself trying to place my hand on u....well i think i can be rest assured tat my elder brother will take care and guide me thru my life....
till next time
bye bye
ganesh
till next time
bye bye
ganesh
Monday, June 12, 2006
Dude
the bundler is taking shape. i will be completing its design before leaving for thailand. Once i'm back, i'll make a prototype and file for a patent. i'll bear all the costs and make this my mainstream business - BYS Enterprises - Specialists in Product development.
I wanted to start my own CAD consultancy but i'll take my time on it. Wish u were here to listen to all this. Cant believe i'm communicating very serious stuff with u. After all, hasn't it been that i was more serious and u were more of live-for-the-moment types? but why did u choose to finish living? Wat was that moment like, that u had to leave us all alone here?
So many questions remain unanswered. I know there can be just no way of asking U anything in person until i come to ur world. But i wont. not in the nearest. I can hear ur voice and see u guide me thru our goals. BYS may go global if i ever put in the input that u'll like and look up to. I'll b ur jockey. U lead me to the finish line ahead of others.
Love you Brother.
Shags of BY"S"
the bundler is taking shape. i will be completing its design before leaving for thailand. Once i'm back, i'll make a prototype and file for a patent. i'll bear all the costs and make this my mainstream business - BYS Enterprises - Specialists in Product development.
I wanted to start my own CAD consultancy but i'll take my time on it. Wish u were here to listen to all this. Cant believe i'm communicating very serious stuff with u. After all, hasn't it been that i was more serious and u were more of live-for-the-moment types? but why did u choose to finish living? Wat was that moment like, that u had to leave us all alone here?
So many questions remain unanswered. I know there can be just no way of asking U anything in person until i come to ur world. But i wont. not in the nearest. I can hear ur voice and see u guide me thru our goals. BYS may go global if i ever put in the input that u'll like and look up to. I'll b ur jockey. U lead me to the finish line ahead of others.
Love you Brother.
Shags of BY"S"
Raja,
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
Raja,
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
Raja,
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
Raja,
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
I wanted to buy you Ice cream so many times, some how, I could not. I just want to hug you and hear you call me applu once, just once da... Applu.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Dude...
i still cant believe u r not around. i ask ppl - my mom and sister and yuppie at times - has he really gone? they console me which just means yes. i ask myself - wat do ppl derive out of lying to me? How could he not be around? I hav not gone to Bhai biryani kada in quite a while. I'll do anything and everything u want me to and anything that makes you smile. I really love You da. I cant survive this existence. I feel so numb to things i face. I was on my way back to chennai from tpr. The bus passed thru erode and i asked myself wn do i bring ramesh here and eat Boatti or kodalkari at devi vilas. I just heard u " Devi Vilas Weightt" I know how u spell or pronounce Weighttu. Aen da? Y shd i b orphaned off all my love? U meant all the fun and joy i ever thot a friend could give. Yuppie calls me his brother. What the hell does he know? I cant consider him even a second cousin. But U treated me like someone btwn a brother and a lover. I never felt the necessity of a brother ever since u n i became so close. I got two sisters still but not a brother, other than Gucci. I know u too loved him. I cant believe someone who never had a dog at his place, to the best of my knowledge, could respect mine so much. I remember how protective u were of him when other guys started talking shit. I just miss you...
When and where will i find a sweetie like my Bor, my lover, my WBR?
Remember those rice-grain writing night? We went to college without studying jackshit. I so remember everything. I gained so many acquaintances in ur area jsut because i traveled in ur bus to ur place with u. I still wish v had a stay-over, biryani together and watched some shitty movie of ur "IlaiThalpathi" the exact way u pronounce it.
I'm grateful to u and ur family. They r like family to me too. I cant wait to hug u someday in that world of no-return. I miss You.
give me the times that u should have spent here. I''ll achieve all that u wanted to.
More than ur dreams abt urself, i'll fulfil ur wishes for me and Bijou. I'll never make her cry. I'll always keep her happy. I'll always be what u admired in me. V mutually admired each other, respected our lifstyles, ideologies and philosophies. I'll continue to live life the way u wanted me to.
I love you
I always will
Cant find U around. But i know u can read all this.
I'll meet paatte soon. I'll never leave ur family. I cant fill in ur space even one ppm. but they all mean loads to me. I'll always stay in touch.
Bye 4 now
I love you
Shags
i still cant believe u r not around. i ask ppl - my mom and sister and yuppie at times - has he really gone? they console me which just means yes. i ask myself - wat do ppl derive out of lying to me? How could he not be around? I hav not gone to Bhai biryani kada in quite a while. I'll do anything and everything u want me to and anything that makes you smile. I really love You da. I cant survive this existence. I feel so numb to things i face. I was on my way back to chennai from tpr. The bus passed thru erode and i asked myself wn do i bring ramesh here and eat Boatti or kodalkari at devi vilas. I just heard u " Devi Vilas Weightt" I know how u spell or pronounce Weighttu. Aen da? Y shd i b orphaned off all my love? U meant all the fun and joy i ever thot a friend could give. Yuppie calls me his brother. What the hell does he know? I cant consider him even a second cousin. But U treated me like someone btwn a brother and a lover. I never felt the necessity of a brother ever since u n i became so close. I got two sisters still but not a brother, other than Gucci. I know u too loved him. I cant believe someone who never had a dog at his place, to the best of my knowledge, could respect mine so much. I remember how protective u were of him when other guys started talking shit. I just miss you...
When and where will i find a sweetie like my Bor, my lover, my WBR?
Remember those rice-grain writing night? We went to college without studying jackshit. I so remember everything. I gained so many acquaintances in ur area jsut because i traveled in ur bus to ur place with u. I still wish v had a stay-over, biryani together and watched some shitty movie of ur "IlaiThalpathi" the exact way u pronounce it.
I'm grateful to u and ur family. They r like family to me too. I cant wait to hug u someday in that world of no-return. I miss You.
give me the times that u should have spent here. I''ll achieve all that u wanted to.
More than ur dreams abt urself, i'll fulfil ur wishes for me and Bijou. I'll never make her cry. I'll always keep her happy. I'll always be what u admired in me. V mutually admired each other, respected our lifstyles, ideologies and philosophies. I'll continue to live life the way u wanted me to.
I love you
I always will
Cant find U around. But i know u can read all this.
I'll meet paatte soon. I'll never leave ur family. I cant fill in ur space even one ppm. but they all mean loads to me. I'll always stay in touch.
Bye 4 now
I love you
Shags
Raja
I have tried everything to get control of myself and be supportive to amma and Gani. Not writing in this blog, going to meditation class, spend the time doing some work, learn programming and for the past 5 days not even looking at your photo and forcibly not think about you and not shedding tears.
Our home is empty, silent, we all just push time with out knowing how long it is going to be. I just realized except for Snow White, none called and calls me Applu since 3/3 including Gani and especially ma.
Honestly nothing works, since last night, whichever way I try, my thoughts are going back to you, your face, your voice, your memories and the last agonizing days.
The questions still remain,
Why you,
Why this calamity to our little contended family who did nothing except good to others
Why this pain to be carried forever to Gani at this age
Why did you make me, ma and of all the people Gani to love you so much
What are we, me, ma and Gani punished for.
I am not a saint, I am an ordinary person with love and affection and I cry today from the bottom of my heart for you. Without realizing, I loved you so much and this unbearable pain is not from my body, it is the pain of my soul.
You rest in peace, that is all I now pray for and to give courage to ma and Gani and my undivided love and and affection to Gani and Ma. I am a goner and there is no "I", any more. - Your dearest Applu.
I have tried everything to get control of myself and be supportive to amma and Gani. Not writing in this blog, going to meditation class, spend the time doing some work, learn programming and for the past 5 days not even looking at your photo and forcibly not think about you and not shedding tears.
Our home is empty, silent, we all just push time with out knowing how long it is going to be. I just realized except for Snow White, none called and calls me Applu since 3/3 including Gani and especially ma.
Honestly nothing works, since last night, whichever way I try, my thoughts are going back to you, your face, your voice, your memories and the last agonizing days.
The questions still remain,
Why you,
Why this calamity to our little contended family who did nothing except good to others
Why this pain to be carried forever to Gani at this age
Why did you make me, ma and of all the people Gani to love you so much
What are we, me, ma and Gani punished for.
I am not a saint, I am an ordinary person with love and affection and I cry today from the bottom of my heart for you. Without realizing, I loved you so much and this unbearable pain is not from my body, it is the pain of my soul.
You rest in peace, that is all I now pray for and to give courage to ma and Gani and my undivided love and and affection to Gani and Ma. I am a goner and there is no "I", any more. - Your dearest Applu.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Hi Da...
Things are getting confirmed soon. I'll be completing our BYS bundler soon and show it to applu. Once that is finalised I'll make a prototype thru some sources. I'll work out all that's necessary towards it. Our dream should be a success, come what may. May be we aren't going global as planned but the bundler should be born. I still remember what you'd told Chinnasamy Uncle in the erode train while u were coming back from ur kerala Rotaract trip - "he's done some designing towards it." That's gonna materialize now.
U r a winner. I love You Da. U'll always be WBR and SkS. I miss you more than i miss anyone else. I wish v made our hyderabad trip happen.
But more importantly as of now, I'll make Ur dreams come true in every way i can. I'll bear ur engineering spirit and execute everything within my span of control.
I love You... Continue to love me. Please be there for me. Let me feel u inside me as always. I can never forget any single thing u said. Tears don't make me weak but they stir up our glorious past and make me reminisce . I'll be ur hero in everything else too. Cant forget having heard it from your mouth that i inspired u. I never felt gr8 when so many significant others complemented me. but wn u said "machan nee weighttu da.", right that moment i felt gr8. to realise that u certify me so, i dont think i need anything more.
I'll always b weighttu the way u want me 2 b. I will live up to wat u wanted me to do in our final 4:29 conversation.
I'll be anything and everything to make u happy. wherever u r. Just smile and laugh as always.
As and wn there r improvements i'll keep u informed.
The kiss i wanted to plant on ur cheek wn u leave to U.S is still in my lips.
"I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away "
all the songs that i'll never wanna listen to or sing, they just hit my mind so much just because i can associate u with them all.
Dont ever leave me, dont ever go.
I love you.
I always will.
how do u suppose i can survive without you.
i love you.
Shags
Things are getting confirmed soon. I'll be completing our BYS bundler soon and show it to applu. Once that is finalised I'll make a prototype thru some sources. I'll work out all that's necessary towards it. Our dream should be a success, come what may. May be we aren't going global as planned but the bundler should be born. I still remember what you'd told Chinnasamy Uncle in the erode train while u were coming back from ur kerala Rotaract trip - "he's done some designing towards it." That's gonna materialize now.
U r a winner. I love You Da. U'll always be WBR and SkS. I miss you more than i miss anyone else. I wish v made our hyderabad trip happen.
But more importantly as of now, I'll make Ur dreams come true in every way i can. I'll bear ur engineering spirit and execute everything within my span of control.
I love You... Continue to love me. Please be there for me. Let me feel u inside me as always. I can never forget any single thing u said. Tears don't make me weak but they stir up our glorious past and make me reminisce . I'll be ur hero in everything else too. Cant forget having heard it from your mouth that i inspired u. I never felt gr8 when so many significant others complemented me. but wn u said "machan nee weighttu da.", right that moment i felt gr8. to realise that u certify me so, i dont think i need anything more.
I'll always b weighttu the way u want me 2 b. I will live up to wat u wanted me to do in our final 4:29 conversation.
I'll be anything and everything to make u happy. wherever u r. Just smile and laugh as always.
As and wn there r improvements i'll keep u informed.
The kiss i wanted to plant on ur cheek wn u leave to U.S is still in my lips.
"I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away "
all the songs that i'll never wanna listen to or sing, they just hit my mind so much just because i can associate u with them all.
Dont ever leave me, dont ever go.
I love you.
I always will.
how do u suppose i can survive without you.
i love you.
Shags
Friday, June 02, 2006
Dude...
Finished all shitty exams. Waiting 4 a weighttu kooththu night stay with you. Hope u'll turn up. Anytime. Please come here and don't be late. I love you Da. Meet me at my place tonight. V'll go hv muttadosa together and come home.
Missing u...
Luv
Shags
Finished all shitty exams. Waiting 4 a weighttu kooththu night stay with you. Hope u'll turn up. Anytime. Please come here and don't be late. I love you Da. Meet me at my place tonight. V'll go hv muttadosa together and come home.
Missing u...
Luv
Shags
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Dude...
Thanks a lot! I'll never forget this favor. I'll live up to your dreams. I'll make u feel good. I'll do all that pleases u in the future once I start earning. I really love you and I'm grateful to u n applu 4 the favor I received last night. All that is left is flight ticket. Of course, that's even more important. Two sources have turned me down. Still hoping. Let me c what god has in store for me towards that. In the future I'll make money enuf to fund others like me. I now understand y u insist so much on charity and philanthropy.
Anyway, otherwise I just feel I need to stabilize a little careerwise. Once I get a decently paying job, I can start planning out on my entrepreneurial dreams. Wish U stood by my side to make BYS enterprises dreams come true!
Miss You too much beyond facing reality. Wish U n i were to present these papers together. Love you da
bye.
Will always be in touch!
Shags
Thanks a lot! I'll never forget this favor. I'll live up to your dreams. I'll make u feel good. I'll do all that pleases u in the future once I start earning. I really love you and I'm grateful to u n applu 4 the favor I received last night. All that is left is flight ticket. Of course, that's even more important. Two sources have turned me down. Still hoping. Let me c what god has in store for me towards that. In the future I'll make money enuf to fund others like me. I now understand y u insist so much on charity and philanthropy.
Anyway, otherwise I just feel I need to stabilize a little careerwise. Once I get a decently paying job, I can start planning out on my entrepreneurial dreams. Wish U stood by my side to make BYS enterprises dreams come true!
Miss You too much beyond facing reality. Wish U n i were to present these papers together. Love you da
bye.
Will always be in touch!
Shags
Friday, May 26, 2006
Zorro,
it hits me now why u called me Lady Galadriel!! = ) . thank u so much for seeing it then itself. U knew what i was capable of.love u ma. take care. will never let go of u. i know u can see me handling all issues fine.peace. no worries. i was left back not to mourn, but to make u proud! Respect...
Your Galadriel
it hits me now why u called me Lady Galadriel!! = ) . thank u so much for seeing it then itself. U knew what i was capable of.love u ma. take care. will never let go of u. i know u can see me handling all issues fine.peace. no worries. i was left back not to mourn, but to make u proud! Respect...
Your Galadriel
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Where are You?
U seem to reply to gani alone but not even once to me? Y? how did i ever offend U? V hv been the best buddies that buddies could be! maybe even more than that. n u now care to reply to gani but not me. r u pinpointing that no matter wat i cant be ur brother? whichever way, i always looked at both of u as my brothers.
Bye
Shags
U seem to reply to gani alone but not even once to me? Y? how did i ever offend U? V hv been the best buddies that buddies could be! maybe even more than that. n u now care to reply to gani but not me. r u pinpointing that no matter wat i cant be ur brother? whichever way, i always looked at both of u as my brothers.
Bye
Shags
Monday, May 22, 2006
hey,
i hope u know ur the first person im talking to after i got my marks.i just wanted u to know,im so sorry ive let down ur name, my name and our family name,its the worst marks of my life.im ashamed to call myself ur brother.pls look down on me for the last time cuz im never gonna look at u again, im not worthy of it. im not upset cuz i did so badly the only thing i feel bad is its not a shadow of wat u got and ur not here to scold me. im so sooooooory. from now on if anybody asks if u were my brother im gonna say no cuz its an insult to u.i wud be most happy if u never came in my dreams again.i don want to assosiate myself wit u.i cant see ur face again its gonna haunt me forever. im just worthless. i can imagine how bad u wud have felt if u were alive. no wonder u left me. life is most cruel to me. i ve lost everything nobody to support me, everybody to look down on me. i don feel like breathing anymore. ive lost faith in myself also. i swear the least i can do for u is save watever is left of ur name and the only way to do tat is when aybody asks me "are u ramesh's brother?", im just gonna say no. the song of liverpool no longer suits me. when the storm cleared after march 5th i tht i wud see the golden sky but no its darkness all over and whether i like it or not "I HAVE TO WALK ALONE".
bye da and im sorry for everything....i feel u wud made a difference if u were alive...god has taken the wrong person and now everybody wud feel tat.....
i hope u know ur the first person im talking to after i got my marks.i just wanted u to know,im so sorry ive let down ur name, my name and our family name,its the worst marks of my life.im ashamed to call myself ur brother.pls look down on me for the last time cuz im never gonna look at u again, im not worthy of it. im not upset cuz i did so badly the only thing i feel bad is its not a shadow of wat u got and ur not here to scold me. im so sooooooory. from now on if anybody asks if u were my brother im gonna say no cuz its an insult to u.i wud be most happy if u never came in my dreams again.i don want to assosiate myself wit u.i cant see ur face again its gonna haunt me forever. im just worthless. i can imagine how bad u wud have felt if u were alive. no wonder u left me. life is most cruel to me. i ve lost everything nobody to support me, everybody to look down on me. i don feel like breathing anymore. ive lost faith in myself also. i swear the least i can do for u is save watever is left of ur name and the only way to do tat is when aybody asks me "are u ramesh's brother?", im just gonna say no. the song of liverpool no longer suits me. when the storm cleared after march 5th i tht i wud see the golden sky but no its darkness all over and whether i like it or not "I HAVE TO WALK ALONE".
bye da and im sorry for everything....i feel u wud made a difference if u were alive...god has taken the wrong person and now everybody wud feel tat.....
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Had I known,
I would have got you the FS program for your mobile you asked me,
I would have taken from you the cheat for Music Edit, which you promised,
We could have had kabab dinner in Radisson,
We could have gone for the annual family trip,
I would have taken you to Erode to eat in the new hotel,
We could have gone to Bombay to visit Kannan which I promised to do since your first birthday,
We could have taken a long drive and had the chat which you wanted to have,
You could have stayed little more in the bed between ma and me on 2nd night as I asked you,
I could have hugged you and said you mean a lot to me and I am proud of you and I love you before I dropped you on 3rd morning,
And on 3rd March, begged the Almighty to take me and spare you, you are more dearer to every one else and you are needed more for ma & gani.
Applu…… minus 78 days
I would have got you the FS program for your mobile you asked me,
I would have taken from you the cheat for Music Edit, which you promised,
We could have had kabab dinner in Radisson,
We could have gone for the annual family trip,
I would have taken you to Erode to eat in the new hotel,
We could have gone to Bombay to visit Kannan which I promised to do since your first birthday,
We could have taken a long drive and had the chat which you wanted to have,
You could have stayed little more in the bed between ma and me on 2nd night as I asked you,
I could have hugged you and said you mean a lot to me and I am proud of you and I love you before I dropped you on 3rd morning,
And on 3rd March, begged the Almighty to take me and spare you, you are more dearer to every one else and you are needed more for ma & gani.
Applu…… minus 78 days
Friday, May 19, 2006
Raja,
Gani just finished his exams and I was praying you will watch him over. I remembered when you did your maths TNPCEE, I asked you how you did and you said just ‘ok’. I was little upset, just like any parent, but finally you made up well in your exams and then we went together for counseling and carried on from there like every body else with limited ambitions and contentment and disappointments, anxieties, just a normal happy life. Then why did you decide to part suddenly and left me, ma and Gani, we all loved you like crazy. I can always sense you around me even now, some how take care of Gani and Ma……….Applu minus 77 days
Gani just finished his exams and I was praying you will watch him over. I remembered when you did your maths TNPCEE, I asked you how you did and you said just ‘ok’. I was little upset, just like any parent, but finally you made up well in your exams and then we went together for counseling and carried on from there like every body else with limited ambitions and contentment and disappointments, anxieties, just a normal happy life. Then why did you decide to part suddenly and left me, ma and Gani, we all loved you like crazy. I can always sense you around me even now, some how take care of Gani and Ma……….Applu minus 77 days
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Dude.........
I hear so many things in my area which i usually call up to tell you and only to hear u laugh out loud. Remember yuppie and i always loved to hear u laugh ur unique way. I did something that u'd love to have seen or hear about. I just so miss you and love You Da. U r a real Sweetheart.
I miss You. Wish I get a job soon to gift u from my first pay. Sigh... U make me feel lame and helpless. I'd've broken free from the ties if u'd tied my hands down but they are cut. I'm impaired. I feel disabled. I need You Around Da. Cant even think u r gone. i cant watch any dappaanguthhu video cos i immediately search for you. Oh, How much u just lovd dancing that way...! Let exams get over, I'm planning to dedicate a night-long koothu. WEIGHTTU KOOTHTHU AS u call it.
Luv U da
Missing you...
Like fish outta water,
Shagman
I hear so many things in my area which i usually call up to tell you and only to hear u laugh out loud. Remember yuppie and i always loved to hear u laugh ur unique way. I did something that u'd love to have seen or hear about. I just so miss you and love You Da. U r a real Sweetheart.
I miss You. Wish I get a job soon to gift u from my first pay. Sigh... U make me feel lame and helpless. I'd've broken free from the ties if u'd tied my hands down but they are cut. I'm impaired. I feel disabled. I need You Around Da. Cant even think u r gone. i cant watch any dappaanguthhu video cos i immediately search for you. Oh, How much u just lovd dancing that way...! Let exams get over, I'm planning to dedicate a night-long koothu. WEIGHTTU KOOTHTHU AS u call it.
Luv U da
Missing you...
Like fish outta water,
Shagman
Raja,
I picked this from your directory which you stored in the computer.
THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
“If you have the time” I said.
God smiled. “My time is eternity.” “What questions do you have in mind for me?”
“What surprises you most about humankind?”
God answered...“That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”
God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”
“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”
“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”
“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”
“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”
“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”
“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”
“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”
“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said, “Just know that I am here... Always.”
If only you had asked me, I would have told you the same thing, but it was not necessary for you, as you have been doing what The God wanted for any children to do
Applu minus 75 days.
I picked this from your directory which you stored in the computer.
THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
“If you have the time” I said.
God smiled. “My time is eternity.” “What questions do you have in mind for me?”
“What surprises you most about humankind?”
God answered...“That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”
God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”
“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”
“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”
“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”
“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”
“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”
“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”
“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”
“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said, “Just know that I am here... Always.”
If only you had asked me, I would have told you the same thing, but it was not necessary for you, as you have been doing what The God wanted for any children to do
Applu minus 75 days.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Hi Raja
I treated you as a son for along time as a doting father, though in the last few years I realized you are becoming a man and have your own ideals and beliefs. May be in the last few months I started talking to you as man to man as I could see things I believe, you believed. Now when others talk and write about you, I see how similar you are to me in certain faiths, like shags has written about the beggar and your reaction to what he said. I would have done the same thing as I believed even if there is 1% chance he needed the help, you should do it. I feel proud of you.
I got the cheque from LIC, and what a pain it gave me to receive that money. If you have earned 1 Rs and given me, for me it would have been equivalent to 1 million. Are you trying to square off the account with me, I won’t allow you. I will meet you wherever you are one day and we will be together. Probably, you are trying to beat me in everything, character, behavior, knowledge and earning. I am glad to lose to you in everything, why beat me in the final call ?
……….Applu minus 74 days
I treated you as a son for along time as a doting father, though in the last few years I realized you are becoming a man and have your own ideals and beliefs. May be in the last few months I started talking to you as man to man as I could see things I believe, you believed. Now when others talk and write about you, I see how similar you are to me in certain faiths, like shags has written about the beggar and your reaction to what he said. I would have done the same thing as I believed even if there is 1% chance he needed the help, you should do it. I feel proud of you.
I got the cheque from LIC, and what a pain it gave me to receive that money. If you have earned 1 Rs and given me, for me it would have been equivalent to 1 million. Are you trying to square off the account with me, I won’t allow you. I will meet you wherever you are one day and we will be together. Probably, you are trying to beat me in everything, character, behavior, knowledge and earning. I am glad to lose to you in everything, why beat me in the final call ?
……….Applu minus 74 days
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Here's engel lyrics 4 u. sounds so apt now! how i wish u were here! i love u, dude.
Those who live good on earth
Become an angel after their death
A look at the sky and you ask
Why we can't see them
First when the clouds go to sleep
They can see us in the sky
We have fear and are alone
God knows I don't want to be an angel
They live in the sunshine
Apart from us and endless far away
They have to attach them to a star (not a party/not much fun)
So they wont fall out of the sky
First when the clouds go to sleep
They can see us in the sky
We have fear and are alone
God knows I don't want to be an angel
Those who live good on earth
Become an angel after their death
A look at the sky and you ask
Why we can't see them
First when the clouds go to sleep
They can see us in the sky
We have fear and are alone
God knows I don't want to be an angel
They live in the sunshine
Apart from us and endless far away
They have to attach them to a star (not a party/not much fun)
So they wont fall out of the sky
First when the clouds go to sleep
They can see us in the sky
We have fear and are alone
God knows I don't want to be an angel
Dude...
Going outta town without u is s disgusting. our rotaract trips and erode trip still chill my spine when the thot reaches my brain that u r way too far away from meeting me for another tour ot stay over. forget it. but there's good news for u. All those kids at little hearts will be happy on ur birthday and mine every year from now on. Charity has been something u'd really preached about. I still remember ur having asked me to spare change for that pichkari at nandanam signal. I said these ppl fake it and they dont deserve it. U asked me wat if they dont fake it? wat if it is true? So true - thats y yuppie n i spare change for some beggar or the other when they approach us. And it pays. V did wat v could afford and saved a person in need. And I was in need and Applu has assented. I wish u2 were here so that v could go together. Thailand could b fun. Phuket fish. ha ha. I love You M8. Cant think of going down ECR or to pondy without u around. So damn miss You. I'll stay in touch! i'll keep u informed about everything that's happening to me and Bijou and everyone else u'll wanna know about. Btw, its my sister's birthday today and i miss u cos of the sambar at home. I really wish u were here. And she'll b getting married this yr. 2 bad that i'm no muslim to serve biryaani at the marriage. of course nothing like muniyadh bhai biryaani. he sure will miss u. Anyway... I love u and i wanna spend one day with u here at chennai at ur place. Come back, for Applu's sake. I really love u Dude, no matter how attrocious n notorious ur activities were!
Luv
Shaggy
Going outta town without u is s disgusting. our rotaract trips and erode trip still chill my spine when the thot reaches my brain that u r way too far away from meeting me for another tour ot stay over. forget it. but there's good news for u. All those kids at little hearts will be happy on ur birthday and mine every year from now on. Charity has been something u'd really preached about. I still remember ur having asked me to spare change for that pichkari at nandanam signal. I said these ppl fake it and they dont deserve it. U asked me wat if they dont fake it? wat if it is true? So true - thats y yuppie n i spare change for some beggar or the other when they approach us. And it pays. V did wat v could afford and saved a person in need. And I was in need and Applu has assented. I wish u2 were here so that v could go together. Thailand could b fun. Phuket fish. ha ha. I love You M8. Cant think of going down ECR or to pondy without u around. So damn miss You. I'll stay in touch! i'll keep u informed about everything that's happening to me and Bijou and everyone else u'll wanna know about. Btw, its my sister's birthday today and i miss u cos of the sambar at home. I really wish u were here. And she'll b getting married this yr. 2 bad that i'm no muslim to serve biryaani at the marriage. of course nothing like muniyadh bhai biryaani. he sure will miss u. Anyway... I love u and i wanna spend one day with u here at chennai at ur place. Come back, for Applu's sake. I really love u Dude, no matter how attrocious n notorious ur activities were!
Luv
Shaggy
Saturday, May 13, 2006
hi ma!!!!
how u doing??? guess i know that anyways!! im prayin, that God has given u all that u need there to keep u satisfied with all ur wishes n wants n keep smilin always!! i donno wat others wud want from u but like iv always wanted, i want u to be happy!!! as long as u r continuing to stay smilin n watchin over me.....il stay in peace!!! its been a very long time since i even wrote anythin in this blog, coz i started believin that u were actually with me all the time takin care of me, like u always did, ur beside me givin all that u ever gave me!!! but today......i missed talkin to u in person, wanna hear u say....."hi babyyyyy!!!" jaan is there anythin that i can do to just hear that ma??? longin for ur hug Amechi!!! was packin my stuff to leave this place forever! got reminded of those days how u wud stop me from goin anywhere out've town n beg me to stay!!! this time ur not there ma, thats y im leavin forever!! will definately come bck sometime just to visit Applu, ma, Gani n patte! don worry il takecare of them for u!! ma trust me, iv been gettin ur signs showin me that u r still keepin up ur promise to keep me happy, thru all means!! im movin on with my life but theres this incomplete feelin all thru out but guess ur some how managin to fill up that gap aswell most've the time some way or the other!! im fine baby.......im doin just fine!! don u ever worry bout me!im a big gurl n i can take good care of myself, if not for me, i wud do it atleast for ur sake! miss u like crazy, can never stop lovin u!!! with all my heart n soul i wish u were here again!!! love ya my Angel!
will always keep ur memories by my side to make a smile appear on my face,
will always continue to look back to see u followin me,
will always hope to beleive that ur holdin my hand thru all the long dark lane,
will always love you unconditionally till the very end!!!
loads n loads of love
always urs....n only urs....
Snow White!!!!
how u doing??? guess i know that anyways!! im prayin, that God has given u all that u need there to keep u satisfied with all ur wishes n wants n keep smilin always!! i donno wat others wud want from u but like iv always wanted, i want u to be happy!!! as long as u r continuing to stay smilin n watchin over me.....il stay in peace!!! its been a very long time since i even wrote anythin in this blog, coz i started believin that u were actually with me all the time takin care of me, like u always did, ur beside me givin all that u ever gave me!!! but today......i missed talkin to u in person, wanna hear u say....."hi babyyyyy!!!" jaan is there anythin that i can do to just hear that ma??? longin for ur hug Amechi!!! was packin my stuff to leave this place forever! got reminded of those days how u wud stop me from goin anywhere out've town n beg me to stay!!! this time ur not there ma, thats y im leavin forever!! will definately come bck sometime just to visit Applu, ma, Gani n patte! don worry il takecare of them for u!! ma trust me, iv been gettin ur signs showin me that u r still keepin up ur promise to keep me happy, thru all means!! im movin on with my life but theres this incomplete feelin all thru out but guess ur some how managin to fill up that gap aswell most've the time some way or the other!! im fine baby.......im doin just fine!! don u ever worry bout me!im a big gurl n i can take good care of myself, if not for me, i wud do it atleast for ur sake! miss u like crazy, can never stop lovin u!!! with all my heart n soul i wish u were here again!!! love ya my Angel!
will always keep ur memories by my side to make a smile appear on my face,
will always continue to look back to see u followin me,
will always hope to beleive that ur holdin my hand thru all the long dark lane,
will always love you unconditionally till the very end!!!
loads n loads of love
always urs....n only urs....
Snow White!!!!
Ma and me keep asking our self what wrong we did to lose you and what is that we have not done to you for you to punish us like this. Why did you kept reminding me about you yesterday and make me cry for you all the time. My heart bleeds and I can sense I am no more the man as I was before. At least for Gani’s sake give us strength and tell us what to do. Unable to forget you for a minute even. Long to see you. Applu minus 71 days.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
I can hear you saying thanks and your smile for my saying yes to Shags. Any more I can do to make you happy.
Do you remember this day last year. You made it wonderful probably knowing that will be the last time, we will celebrate together. We miss your wishes, your week hand shake, and most of all your wish card. Happiness, lost forever. We miss you da. Life will never be the same again.
When my life ended 3-3-06 4:55 PM
Will this be the day when my agony ends 11-May-06
Days without you -69
Do you remember this day last year. You made it wonderful probably knowing that will be the last time, we will celebrate together. We miss your wishes, your week hand shake, and most of all your wish card. Happiness, lost forever. We miss you da. Life will never be the same again.
When my life ended 3-3-06 4:55 PM
Will this be the day when my agony ends 11-May-06
Days without you -69
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
“Nallathey Ninai, Nallathey Pesu, Nallathey sei, unakku nallathey nadakkum”, I read this somewhere and I believed in it and strictly followed. How come I ended up loosing you after I did “Nallathey Ninai, Nallathey Pesu, Nallathey sei”. You are around me always, I feel you, answer me da. …….Applu
When my life ended 3-3-06 4:55 PM
Will this be the day when my agony ends 09-May-06
Days without you -67
Monday, May 08, 2006
Nine requisites for contented living:
Health enough to make work a pleasure.
Wealth enough to support your needs.
Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them.
Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them.
Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.
Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor.
Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others.
Faith enough to make real the things of God.
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future."
What I practiced till 3rd March and lived as a contented man, now they are all only words without you. Touch me da somehow. Applu minus 66 days
Sunday, May 07, 2006
I lived on faith, trust, beleif and hope. After all these years, you have made me to lose my faith, beleif, trust in every thing and what can I Hope for now, living in fear, just live by the moment, why are you punishing me like this ? ......Applu minus 65 days.
Friday, May 05, 2006
I always beleived every thing balances in life. Is that why you are giving me so much of grief to balance the happiness you gave me, if so, is it balanced or am I to suffer more. .....Applu minus 62 days
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Can’t you hear my call, how can you be so silent. My heart bleeds. Why da ? Why are you punishing me like this. …….Applu minus 61 days
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Raja
We had a life
Then we gave you life,
You showed us how beautiful life could be with you
You had your wonderful life
Why did you decided to stop it all of a sudden
And made our life empty.
Show me the way………Applu 60 days
We had a life
Then we gave you life,
You showed us how beautiful life could be with you
You had your wonderful life
Why did you decided to stop it all of a sudden
And made our life empty.
Show me the way………Applu 60 days
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
hi Da.
I'm home alone. Wish you'd come over for a night-stay. I'm calling yuppie over tho. But i'm sure right now that the stay over is not gonna be gr8 cos u n i shared a particular wavelength that no one can even dream of replacing. You will always be my hero. I wish v did make our plans come true- just u n me to some outstation before you left india. I miss you for your style of talking, your tamil and wat not? i miss your everyday sitting by my side, i miss your msgs, i miss phone calls with you. I just so miss you. Want you Da. Back as what yuppie n i call you in our phonebooks. Get back here. buzz my mobile tonight as u reach my place dont ring the calling bell. Standard procedure. this time i'll open the door whenever u come with one word of reprimand. but just turn up. Home alone without you is torture.
Luv
Shags
I'm home alone. Wish you'd come over for a night-stay. I'm calling yuppie over tho. But i'm sure right now that the stay over is not gonna be gr8 cos u n i shared a particular wavelength that no one can even dream of replacing. You will always be my hero. I wish v did make our plans come true- just u n me to some outstation before you left india. I miss you for your style of talking, your tamil and wat not? i miss your everyday sitting by my side, i miss your msgs, i miss phone calls with you. I just so miss you. Want you Da. Back as what yuppie n i call you in our phonebooks. Get back here. buzz my mobile tonight as u reach my place dont ring the calling bell. Standard procedure. this time i'll open the door whenever u come with one word of reprimand. but just turn up. Home alone without you is torture.
Luv
Shags
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Hi Da...
The only problem is that v used to call each other unparliamentary names. but do ppl who really love each other need to call each other with names? I dont remember wn i last called you by ur name or any nickname u ever got. when two ppl love each other so much y use mere names? Really love you dude. i've hated very few things about you and i very well remember u felt more mushy for me cos i told u frankly on ur face that u need to correct urself on those grounds - turning up much later than promised for stay-overs, going elsewhere under the pretext of staying over at my place ... (oops! olarittaenaa?) etc. But one thing i really hate u for is to have pushed our dearest TVJ (as on both of our phonebooks) to a tight corner with only one thing in mind. I'm gonna meet him soon. hv not seen him in a month n especially cos he's back at work and has taken a shave since u left him so lonely. But still v all love you. Thats something which comes off us involuntarily, spontaneously, obviously, naturally and reflexively for the kinda person u were.
Who else on this planet would know how u were crazy abt nila? U kept telling me the other day all the way from ur place to mine only one thing "Machaan nila daa.."
Each time i c ur favourite babes on tv, i cry.
each time i eat tomato rice i cry.
each time i eat sambar rice i cry
each time i hear thee-pidikka i cry
each time i wanna discuss something so private which i talk only with you, i cry
each time someone who dunno you try to show off saying trivial things, i cry
each time i c yuppie blush i feel like crying cos iam not able to reach out to you.
by the way, remember the post-it slip u wrote n kept on my dad's table. That actually came true. but guess she got lucky enuf tho. And Bijou is ur maanaseega student. ekalaivi. I'm sure u wont know one bit of mythology cos u r my hero who said mullai means rabbit, raddish n all.
I just so miss you.
I can just so hear Shaggy dont b so glum da... and i can c ur face and the bag i got 4 u on ur shoulder as u bid one last time for me to leave from college with you and go home.
Dont make me feel all so guilty again
u wont know how much i missed u wn i was at Kota baharu. Damn, u'd hv ragged my ass off were u with me. and i'm sure if v both had backpacks, v'd hv swam across that small stretch from kota baharu to thailand. i missed you cos the guest room at chinna maamiyaar's house had a double bed, typically like the one in ur bedroom. v'd hv spoken all night if u came with me. may be i shd've traveled with you that day fm college to ur place. had v spoken to ur mom, she'd hv given it a thot and arranged for you too 2 come with me.
i miss you so much for so many things i cant blog about. I love you Da. Never ever has my heart missed my hero more.
The last day of college, i didnt wanna pose for pics with anyone. i literally ran away. how can i, without my lover around?
you know how many times i waited and craved for you to walk thru the entrance of that room and come to me and say "shaggy watsup?" or some such shit? Aen da?
But one thing is for sure. i really loved you and i still do.
i dunno y i'm punished with a life without you
3 yrs with Bijou has not been this happy.
3.5 yrs of friendship with you had been so lovely. v fighted so little. you never dumped me. Were either or you or i a girl, sure v'd hv gotten married too. But y on earth did u enter my life, loved me so much, be a friend to me who never believed in friendship, showed me love isn't gender-based n so many things?
U r a mean dash. dunno wat to call you. may be just ur name. Remember how u got ur most recent nickname. u blabbered in engg management hour and yuppie framed the name. Gosh... I cant even blog this. u hv just been too mean to me. More than ever.
But i'll always love you da.
I'll be ur shaggy. That's y i signed off so many shirts on the last day as shaggy or shagz. anything for you and anytime da.
I still love You. I always will.
U will always inspire me. I'll watch all vijay movies for ur sake.
hv fun up there.
Luv, hugs and the lil gift i wanted to give you wn u were gonna leave India.
Miss you doesnt say it all.
Shags (i by mistake started signing off as wat other ppl call me. but here u go)
The only problem is that v used to call each other unparliamentary names. but do ppl who really love each other need to call each other with names? I dont remember wn i last called you by ur name or any nickname u ever got. when two ppl love each other so much y use mere names? Really love you dude. i've hated very few things about you and i very well remember u felt more mushy for me cos i told u frankly on ur face that u need to correct urself on those grounds - turning up much later than promised for stay-overs, going elsewhere under the pretext of staying over at my place ... (oops! olarittaenaa?) etc. But one thing i really hate u for is to have pushed our dearest TVJ (as on both of our phonebooks) to a tight corner with only one thing in mind. I'm gonna meet him soon. hv not seen him in a month n especially cos he's back at work and has taken a shave since u left him so lonely. But still v all love you. Thats something which comes off us involuntarily, spontaneously, obviously, naturally and reflexively for the kinda person u were.
Who else on this planet would know how u were crazy abt nila? U kept telling me the other day all the way from ur place to mine only one thing "Machaan nila daa.."
Each time i c ur favourite babes on tv, i cry.
each time i eat tomato rice i cry.
each time i eat sambar rice i cry
each time i hear thee-pidikka i cry
each time i wanna discuss something so private which i talk only with you, i cry
each time someone who dunno you try to show off saying trivial things, i cry
each time i c yuppie blush i feel like crying cos iam not able to reach out to you.
by the way, remember the post-it slip u wrote n kept on my dad's table. That actually came true. but guess she got lucky enuf tho. And Bijou is ur maanaseega student. ekalaivi. I'm sure u wont know one bit of mythology cos u r my hero who said mullai means rabbit, raddish n all.
I just so miss you.
I can just so hear Shaggy dont b so glum da... and i can c ur face and the bag i got 4 u on ur shoulder as u bid one last time for me to leave from college with you and go home.
Dont make me feel all so guilty again
u wont know how much i missed u wn i was at Kota baharu. Damn, u'd hv ragged my ass off were u with me. and i'm sure if v both had backpacks, v'd hv swam across that small stretch from kota baharu to thailand. i missed you cos the guest room at chinna maamiyaar's house had a double bed, typically like the one in ur bedroom. v'd hv spoken all night if u came with me. may be i shd've traveled with you that day fm college to ur place. had v spoken to ur mom, she'd hv given it a thot and arranged for you too 2 come with me.
i miss you so much for so many things i cant blog about. I love you Da. Never ever has my heart missed my hero more.
The last day of college, i didnt wanna pose for pics with anyone. i literally ran away. how can i, without my lover around?
you know how many times i waited and craved for you to walk thru the entrance of that room and come to me and say "shaggy watsup?" or some such shit? Aen da?
But one thing is for sure. i really loved you and i still do.
i dunno y i'm punished with a life without you
3 yrs with Bijou has not been this happy.
3.5 yrs of friendship with you had been so lovely. v fighted so little. you never dumped me. Were either or you or i a girl, sure v'd hv gotten married too. But y on earth did u enter my life, loved me so much, be a friend to me who never believed in friendship, showed me love isn't gender-based n so many things?
U r a mean dash. dunno wat to call you. may be just ur name. Remember how u got ur most recent nickname. u blabbered in engg management hour and yuppie framed the name. Gosh... I cant even blog this. u hv just been too mean to me. More than ever.
But i'll always love you da.
I'll be ur shaggy. That's y i signed off so many shirts on the last day as shaggy or shagz. anything for you and anytime da.
I still love You. I always will.
U will always inspire me. I'll watch all vijay movies for ur sake.
hv fun up there.
Luv, hugs and the lil gift i wanted to give you wn u were gonna leave India.
Miss you doesnt say it all.
Shags (i by mistake started signing off as wat other ppl call me. but here u go)
Hi Raja
You saw what I did to-day. I can see your sweet smile and saying thanks. I have done so much to you, but I don’t think it would have made much difference to you as it is the duty of a parent. But what I did for Snow White, should be giving you the most happiness da, thanks for the chance to have made you really happy and for the sweet smile of yours. …..Applu minus 58 days
You saw what I did to-day. I can see your sweet smile and saying thanks. I have done so much to you, but I don’t think it would have made much difference to you as it is the duty of a parent. But what I did for Snow White, should be giving you the most happiness da, thanks for the chance to have made you really happy and for the sweet smile of yours. …..Applu minus 58 days
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Raja,
I am still unable to comprehend you are not there. I keep waiting for you. I miss you very much. I went to the hospital where you were born and I remember every second of that moment you came into this world, you gave me so much of joy and you also breathed your last before me and left me to an emptiness. You think I will forget you like every one else, never, I will come and meet you wherever you are. More the day passes, more I resolve to remember you every minute. You know your applu, how determined I can be when I want. …..Applu minus 57 days.
I am still unable to comprehend you are not there. I keep waiting for you. I miss you very much. I went to the hospital where you were born and I remember every second of that moment you came into this world, you gave me so much of joy and you also breathed your last before me and left me to an emptiness. You think I will forget you like every one else, never, I will come and meet you wherever you are. More the day passes, more I resolve to remember you every minute. You know your applu, how determined I can be when I want. …..Applu minus 57 days.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Hi raja
Today from morning till afternoon, you were somewhere near me, I feel you,talk to you, say something da, give some message, I will understand, you are there da, probably playing hide and seek, I will find you soon. Miss you, can never accept you are not there. ...Applu 55 days
Today from morning till afternoon, you were somewhere near me, I feel you,talk to you, say something da, give some message, I will understand, you are there da, probably playing hide and seek, I will find you soon. Miss you, can never accept you are not there. ...Applu 55 days
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Bro,
Done with my exams..finally. You were there when I wrote them so I don't have to tell you how they went. Thought my heart would feel lighter after the exams, it only got heavier. Lol, today I saw those guys in coronet juice shop. The ones we make fun of..Who ll ever laugh for anything like that but us? I couldn't laugh today, Bro. Not without you. I have to wear a mask when I am at home, when I am at college. Faking smiles, conversations. But I do have some people who take me for who I am.
Went to the tailor a couple of days back and I got remimded of the time you yelled t him..Lol. I will NEVER forget those days, Bro. And remember what we spoke about today..
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Done with my exams..finally. You were there when I wrote them so I don't have to tell you how they went. Thought my heart would feel lighter after the exams, it only got heavier. Lol, today I saw those guys in coronet juice shop. The ones we make fun of..Who ll ever laugh for anything like that but us? I couldn't laugh today, Bro. Not without you. I have to wear a mask when I am at home, when I am at college. Faking smiles, conversations. But I do have some people who take me for who I am.
Went to the tailor a couple of days back and I got remimded of the time you yelled t him..Lol. I will NEVER forget those days, Bro. And remember what we spoke about today..
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Hi Raja,
More the day passes, more I start thinking of you, your voice, your calling me "Applu", your arguing with ma and fights with gani, you are always with us, how can we ever forget you da, do you see us, do you feel our agony, where are you da, why did you give all of us so much, only to take everything away in a second. Meet me soon wherever you want and whichever manner you have planned, miss you so much. Give Gani your support and watch over him always as you do, he needs you badly ... Applu minus 52 days.
More the day passes, more I start thinking of you, your voice, your calling me "Applu", your arguing with ma and fights with gani, you are always with us, how can we ever forget you da, do you see us, do you feel our agony, where are you da, why did you give all of us so much, only to take everything away in a second. Meet me soon wherever you want and whichever manner you have planned, miss you so much. Give Gani your support and watch over him always as you do, he needs you badly ... Applu minus 52 days.
i'm not a lunatic.lol.. u know it better. just that everyone goes through a lot of chaos before finally coming to realise that LIFE IS A LOOM.
So i'm here now to tell u that i enjoyed the lil ride with u . thank u so much!!! You are very special. will always make u proud. u will see that as time flies.u will continue to be my fellow outsider.
bye my zorro..
love and peace.
- your galadriel..
So i'm here now to tell u that i enjoyed the lil ride with u . thank u so much!!! You are very special. will always make u proud. u will see that as time flies.u will continue to be my fellow outsider.
bye my zorro..
love and peace.
- your galadriel..
Friday, April 21, 2006
Hi Sis & Ganga
At last you realized you can not search for me any more because I am in you. You two are real “Psychos”. You don’t ask questions when you know there are no answers to it, like where the sky ends, when will earth stop rotating, what is the depth of human mind and why me. It was great fun to be with you all. Just remember what I told you often,
Don’t pre-judge anybody,
All are equal under the Sun, never hurt any one’s ego
Help if you can and when you can, but don’t expect anything in return.
Never hesitate to say “Sorry” to any one if you make a mistake or when you realize you made a mistake.
Never say a word which will hurt anybody, it is not worth it.
Every one you meet has many good things in them; just see only that part of him.
And finally don’t compare.
Life is not measured by the time you live, it is only remembered by what you do.
Life is all about faith and hope, keep looking, you will find someone.
Bye, your Bro & Zorro
At last you realized you can not search for me any more because I am in you. You two are real “Psychos”. You don’t ask questions when you know there are no answers to it, like where the sky ends, when will earth stop rotating, what is the depth of human mind and why me. It was great fun to be with you all. Just remember what I told you often,
Don’t pre-judge anybody,
All are equal under the Sun, never hurt any one’s ego
Help if you can and when you can, but don’t expect anything in return.
Never hesitate to say “Sorry” to any one if you make a mistake or when you realize you made a mistake.
Never say a word which will hurt anybody, it is not worth it.
Every one you meet has many good things in them; just see only that part of him.
And finally don’t compare.
Life is not measured by the time you live, it is only remembered by what you do.
Life is all about faith and hope, keep looking, you will find someone.
Bye, your Bro & Zorro
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Hey Etchai
I hear you da. My life was short and beautiful. I had everything. Great friends, applu and ma no one can get, and more than anything else, you as my bro. Greta times and many things between you and me. I know all my secrets are safe with you. Now beat me in everything. I left you for everybody else. I am at peace because you are there. We will meet sometime, somewhere and you will know it is me. I might not have told you, but you meant a lot to me. We are lucky to be brothers and I don’t see many like us. Cherish my memory and don’t lose your great confidence. You can beat all. I am leaving ma and applu to you to take care, they need you badly and give them hope and happiness. Let me be a sweet dream for you. Surely, we will meet some time and only you will know it is me. I have left everything to you, bye you mad dog.
You are the only idiot, I shall have as my bro, that is a promise I will keep.
I sign off as Ramesh, your most dearest and closest.
I hear you da. My life was short and beautiful. I had everything. Great friends, applu and ma no one can get, and more than anything else, you as my bro. Greta times and many things between you and me. I know all my secrets are safe with you. Now beat me in everything. I left you for everybody else. I am at peace because you are there. We will meet sometime, somewhere and you will know it is me. I might not have told you, but you meant a lot to me. We are lucky to be brothers and I don’t see many like us. Cherish my memory and don’t lose your great confidence. You can beat all. I am leaving ma and applu to you to take care, they need you badly and give them hope and happiness. Let me be a sweet dream for you. Surely, we will meet some time and only you will know it is me. I have left everything to you, bye you mad dog.
You are the only idiot, I shall have as my bro, that is a promise I will keep.
I sign off as Ramesh, your most dearest and closest.
hi mapla,long time,its just ive been busy all these days.....hey i hear news tat this blog is gonna be closed down....i can understand why.....ur not replying.....guess all ur work is done ur gonna finally rest.....have fun.....get some room there for me ready ill be there someday even if its 60 yrs away, ill get there.....anyway before we part forever there is this one special song i wanna sing out to u.....the tune may not be there but i guess u ll know the tune.....here it goes.......
There's no one in town who i know,
u gave me some place to go.....
i never said thank u for that,
thought i would get one chance......
wat would u think of me now,
so lucky,so strong , so proud.....
never said thank u for tat,
now ill never have the chance......
"MAY ANGELS LEAD U IN",
here u meet my friends,
from sleepless nights to sleepless days,
may angels lead u in!!!!!!!!
hum the tune of "hear you me" and sing it out loud.....this is my song to u.....its exactly what i feel. i hope u remember all the times we spent together....all the vacations....its uncountable....there maybe many ppl claiming to be urs but all tat doesnt set me apart , does it??i swear man i wont make the same mistakes tat u made,u can trust me on that one.....by the way the movie goal was awesome but the end was even better liverpool got snubbed.....i thought abt u then and wondered wat u would do if u saw tht movie....would u tear the screen ?:-).....dey im not able to be myself over the last few days since u left me and went off somewhere....im not able to go near applu or amma i seem to get visions of u and me together....its kinda disturbing so now ive become sort of a reserved person but dont worry it ll just take time to erase all tat and get back to myself.....right now im listening to the music in armageddon and crying out to myself.....im all alone.....how u wud have loved tat song.....u know wat for so many days after 3rd and 4th of march i didnt all tat bad and all only today now tat i know i can never speak to u again is when its really hurting.....those two days have made a permanent stain in the hearts of all who experienced ur love and ur mere presence.....trust me eventhough u died a horrible death it was a hero's death if not for the world atleast to me ur my hero and u always will be.....as applu always said his world came to an end 3rd march even im starting to feel tat true happiness for me ended tat day but one thing i know i have a life of darkness ahead of me and many ppl derive their happiness frm me like they did for u.....i trust u havent seen this world enough so i know u ll join us in a few days as someone new.....just seek me out when u realise its u.....we could have had a great life together.....i bet u would have been thrilled to meet a new face :-)......i just dont have the heart to stop writing on this last message of mine.....im sorry i cant hold back my feeling any more.....pls da come back....come back to ur brother.....pls.....ive stopped believing in god i hope u know tat.....i only believe in u now....ur the god for all of us.....ok da i guess its over....i just dont have the heart to say bye but i have to u selfish *******.....im sorry.....ok pls do one last thing for me pls give me the chance to meet u once i reach tat big home in the sky atleast then i wanna spend a life time with u....pls da my only request to u....ok da for the last time from ganesh bye bye.....my love for u will be forever even though death has separated us.....good night and sweet dreams and god bless u who ever he is.....
P.S:- ill take care of the pent house and one more thing "I KNOW EVERYTHING", ur secrets are safe with me......ciao
There's no one in town who i know,
u gave me some place to go.....
i never said thank u for that,
thought i would get one chance......
wat would u think of me now,
so lucky,so strong , so proud.....
never said thank u for tat,
now ill never have the chance......
"MAY ANGELS LEAD U IN",
here u meet my friends,
from sleepless nights to sleepless days,
may angels lead u in!!!!!!!!
hum the tune of "hear you me" and sing it out loud.....this is my song to u.....its exactly what i feel. i hope u remember all the times we spent together....all the vacations....its uncountable....there maybe many ppl claiming to be urs but all tat doesnt set me apart , does it??i swear man i wont make the same mistakes tat u made,u can trust me on that one.....by the way the movie goal was awesome but the end was even better liverpool got snubbed.....i thought abt u then and wondered wat u would do if u saw tht movie....would u tear the screen ?:-).....dey im not able to be myself over the last few days since u left me and went off somewhere....im not able to go near applu or amma i seem to get visions of u and me together....its kinda disturbing so now ive become sort of a reserved person but dont worry it ll just take time to erase all tat and get back to myself.....right now im listening to the music in armageddon and crying out to myself.....im all alone.....how u wud have loved tat song.....u know wat for so many days after 3rd and 4th of march i didnt all tat bad and all only today now tat i know i can never speak to u again is when its really hurting.....those two days have made a permanent stain in the hearts of all who experienced ur love and ur mere presence.....trust me eventhough u died a horrible death it was a hero's death if not for the world atleast to me ur my hero and u always will be.....as applu always said his world came to an end 3rd march even im starting to feel tat true happiness for me ended tat day but one thing i know i have a life of darkness ahead of me and many ppl derive their happiness frm me like they did for u.....i trust u havent seen this world enough so i know u ll join us in a few days as someone new.....just seek me out when u realise its u.....we could have had a great life together.....i bet u would have been thrilled to meet a new face :-)......i just dont have the heart to stop writing on this last message of mine.....im sorry i cant hold back my feeling any more.....pls da come back....come back to ur brother.....pls.....ive stopped believing in god i hope u know tat.....i only believe in u now....ur the god for all of us.....ok da i guess its over....i just dont have the heart to say bye but i have to u selfish *******.....im sorry.....ok pls do one last thing for me pls give me the chance to meet u once i reach tat big home in the sky atleast then i wanna spend a life time with u....pls da my only request to u....ok da for the last time from ganesh bye bye.....my love for u will be forever even though death has separated us.....good night and sweet dreams and god bless u who ever he is.....
P.S:- ill take care of the pent house and one more thing "I KNOW EVERYTHING", ur secrets are safe with me......ciao
Monday, April 17, 2006
Bro,
The skies scared me today. So dark and gloomy during the day. Are you doing ok? He asked how could the clouds affect the moon and stars. So true. You don't worry,bro. We will hold on to you.
My exams start on 19th. Have to start studying only tomorrow. Missing you too much...Remember how i never studied and you made me study every night? I am trying, bro..trying hard. I will make you proud of me.
Love you,
Sis Constantine.
The skies scared me today. So dark and gloomy during the day. Are you doing ok? He asked how could the clouds affect the moon and stars. So true. You don't worry,bro. We will hold on to you.
My exams start on 19th. Have to start studying only tomorrow. Missing you too much...Remember how i never studied and you made me study every night? I am trying, bro..trying hard. I will make you proud of me.
Love you,
Sis Constantine.
Hi Raja, I thought a lot about my communication through this blog with you, which obviously is one sided. I wanted to know your life with your friends and others in the last four years when you have really started parting with us as a man and started a life of your own. I did not get any information through this blog and on the contrary, It is making others sad and ma does not even see it. Where ever you are, you know how much I suffer, grieve, bleed and keep asking why you, me, ma & gani. For me and ma till our life ends, it is not going to be the same. We really had happy life and I tried and gave you what I did not get in my life. You are part of our life and it is gone forever. My faith is shaken and what is left for is to live only each day and not think about tomorrow. I don’t even have the confidence to pray god for others or for ma or gani, because I am afraid he is just waiting to do the opposite. Believe me, I am even scared to wish my end soon, because the almighty may exactly do the opposite and I am terrified of thinking of years of life without you and losing my dear ones and ultimately left alone to suffer in loneliness. The pain of your leaving us will go only when my end comes.
Atlas shrugged on 3rd March, world did not come to an end, but my world has come to an end. Henceforth, what is between you and me is private
Raja, my dearest, my love and my life, bye forever. Applu
Atlas shrugged on 3rd March, world did not come to an end, but my world has come to an end. Henceforth, what is between you and me is private
Raja, my dearest, my love and my life, bye forever. Applu
Zorro..Zorro..Zorro.. ,(got a big smile for u...now smile for me pls.am in this stupid mood..(u know jumping-on-the-bed happy mood)
its been a week since i wrote here. i'm not gonna meet u here often, at this blog. i don't need it. but since this blog is not just bout talking to u, that its also a benign support system, i will write... nowadays, when i write in this blog..it feels llike- i'm peeping into a club and saying " yeah..am back. i care for him"..then i vanish. i peep in again later.."i still do care..!!". guess , i'm finding it downright silly to meet u here becos i talk to u every single day. u're my diary like always. so i will write here, only when u want me to ,like now
now to sad songs..
it didn't jolt me, but felt like a needle -prick. here i am bleeding to death, in silence, without u and someone comes along throws mud at my wound. petty and uneccesary, but i totally understand and empathize.
Zorro..remember our line- this world's filled with impostors!.. lol..i'd like to add something more. these ppl are funny too..literally. coupla days back shalini and myself had a good laugh about it. i couldn't stop laughing even after she hung up.i'm serious. feels like school days. shallow and predictable ppl around. Zorro.. its sick. two things u liked about me so much- my tenacity and me being brutally frank. this is what's keeping me together in one piece.
i've begin to hate the words i spill
i throw disgusting shadows on verbs.
i seem to dislike my handwriting suddenly.
words they fail u sometimes...see, its like this.. there's a ferocious battle of thoughts going on in my head..so much happening..but not a single word to help me.
you can't talk when you're drowning, can you??
have just this to tell you, zorro
GRAVELY MISSING YOU
this one line is like a over-filled laundry basket. dig into the stink and pain..make whatever out of it.
Zorro..i know i've already entered this in my diary. but am thankful to u again for constantly showing me small signs of the fact that u're arnd. why then would i pick a flick called " doctor zhivago"( which, though the most favorite classic movie for everyone at home, i never got to watch it until yesterday.)..don't know why i chose to see that movie that particular night , when my thoughts are full of u. it killed me. the movie was like a stage set just for u. so pure the way u spoke to me. the way u became the hero..tears. i know it sounds stupid but i know u too well..and this doesn't happen with every movie.
remember may 6th 2005- we parted . u stayed back on earth. i left to heaven. i told u about me watching a movie ( before sunrise) that day..that told a story so much like ours.i hung onto that sign..thats why i'm here now.
no matter how many times i've reminded u, u never got to watch that movie. and me , no matter how many times, u've told me to watch "a walk to remember"- i haven't still. will lay my hands upon it soon. don't frown pls. ty.
will meet u soon
love and peace...your galadriel
P.S.- why did u have to walk into shalini's dream? that was so not needed. u've scared the hell out of her. u wanna talk to me, then come to me. i'm making genuine attempts to sleep these days. anyways i got your msg..even before u tried telling her(frightening her). Am yours. i know the truth better than u'd understand it. don't worry . keep that smile on. let it continue to steal hearts. stay close.
its been a week since i wrote here. i'm not gonna meet u here often, at this blog. i don't need it. but since this blog is not just bout talking to u, that its also a benign support system, i will write... nowadays, when i write in this blog..it feels llike- i'm peeping into a club and saying " yeah..am back. i care for him"..then i vanish. i peep in again later.."i still do care..!!". guess , i'm finding it downright silly to meet u here becos i talk to u every single day. u're my diary like always. so i will write here, only when u want me to ,like now
now to sad songs..
it didn't jolt me, but felt like a needle -prick. here i am bleeding to death, in silence, without u and someone comes along throws mud at my wound. petty and uneccesary, but i totally understand and empathize.
Zorro..remember our line- this world's filled with impostors!.. lol..i'd like to add something more. these ppl are funny too..literally. coupla days back shalini and myself had a good laugh about it. i couldn't stop laughing even after she hung up.i'm serious. feels like school days. shallow and predictable ppl around. Zorro.. its sick. two things u liked about me so much- my tenacity and me being brutally frank. this is what's keeping me together in one piece.
i've begin to hate the words i spill
i throw disgusting shadows on verbs.
i seem to dislike my handwriting suddenly.
words they fail u sometimes...see, its like this.. there's a ferocious battle of thoughts going on in my head..so much happening..but not a single word to help me.
you can't talk when you're drowning, can you??
have just this to tell you, zorro
GRAVELY MISSING YOU
this one line is like a over-filled laundry basket. dig into the stink and pain..make whatever out of it.
Zorro..i know i've already entered this in my diary. but am thankful to u again for constantly showing me small signs of the fact that u're arnd. why then would i pick a flick called " doctor zhivago"( which, though the most favorite classic movie for everyone at home, i never got to watch it until yesterday.)..don't know why i chose to see that movie that particular night , when my thoughts are full of u. it killed me. the movie was like a stage set just for u. so pure the way u spoke to me. the way u became the hero..tears. i know it sounds stupid but i know u too well..and this doesn't happen with every movie.
remember may 6th 2005- we parted . u stayed back on earth. i left to heaven. i told u about me watching a movie ( before sunrise) that day..that told a story so much like ours.i hung onto that sign..thats why i'm here now.
no matter how many times i've reminded u, u never got to watch that movie. and me , no matter how many times, u've told me to watch "a walk to remember"- i haven't still. will lay my hands upon it soon. don't frown pls. ty.
will meet u soon
love and peace...your galadriel
P.S.- why did u have to walk into shalini's dream? that was so not needed. u've scared the hell out of her. u wanna talk to me, then come to me. i'm making genuine attempts to sleep these days. anyways i got your msg..even before u tried telling her(frightening her). Am yours. i know the truth better than u'd understand it. don't worry . keep that smile on. let it continue to steal hearts. stay close.
It still hurts badly. I was like every one else, with faith and belief. Why da ?, Where are you ? Some way me or ma should get some communication, nothing so far. Have you really rested, because you did not have any thing left, but you have left us to suffer. ……Applu minus 45 day.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
I am asked, how are you and how was the day. Me and ma end the day trying to get sleep with our eyes closed keeping you inside floating in tears to keep you cool and hoping to see you in our dreams. We don’t even know whether we sleep, but I wake up, time never matters, thinking of you and wondering why you never come in our dreams. Spending the day is a farce as I am dishonest about any thing I do, eating, talking, working, what a sham. The only thing I am happy about at the end of the day is I am getting closer to you by one more day. Awaiting da….Applu minus 44 days
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Hi ma!!!
how u doin? i havnt written in the blog for quite sometime now, and u know the reason. but i never stopped talkin to u ma. like u wud always say.....the moon wud carry all my messagas to you every day.....i kept talkin to the moon nd i cud see u swingin to n fro from the stars to the moon all night long!! how beautiful that world of urs look from here!!!i was gazin at it and noticed its beauty with awe.....that wasn there ever before n now its got the glory only because....You are one among them now! there u go......like u always use to do......leave "THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MARK" where ever you go!!! ma guess wat?....iv met all your frenz,they r all so lovin n understandin! i am into ur world like u always promised to do so! trust me.....im not alone! this seems like ur blessin in disguise to me! thanx a million for takin care of me like u always did Amechi! but still, more than anything.... its the belief i have that ur watchin over me n seein all this from this heaven of urs....i continue to walk forward......!
"i live by faith and not by sight.....
whether i see you or not,
my heart will never cease....
to care and love you this much!
till my very last breath!
and that is 'a promise' i make...
from the very depth of my heart!"
its real, very very real!!
with all my love n care....
Snow White!
how u doin? i havnt written in the blog for quite sometime now, and u know the reason. but i never stopped talkin to u ma. like u wud always say.....the moon wud carry all my messagas to you every day.....i kept talkin to the moon nd i cud see u swingin to n fro from the stars to the moon all night long!! how beautiful that world of urs look from here!!!i was gazin at it and noticed its beauty with awe.....that wasn there ever before n now its got the glory only because....You are one among them now! there u go......like u always use to do......leave "THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MARK" where ever you go!!! ma guess wat?....iv met all your frenz,they r all so lovin n understandin! i am into ur world like u always promised to do so! trust me.....im not alone! this seems like ur blessin in disguise to me! thanx a million for takin care of me like u always did Amechi! but still, more than anything.... its the belief i have that ur watchin over me n seein all this from this heaven of urs....i continue to walk forward......!
"i live by faith and not by sight.....
whether i see you or not,
my heart will never cease....
to care and love you this much!
till my very last breath!
and that is 'a promise' i make...
from the very depth of my heart!"
its real, very very real!!
with all my love n care....
Snow White!
How many will understand death truly is freedom, if you really care about someone, do you regret it for him, no, but for me, I have not learnt to cope up with the grief, it is not the same again da…….Applu minus 43 days
Friday, April 14, 2006
Hey,
Somehow yesterday I couldn't see you in the beautiful full moon like I did the last time. But I saw you somewhere between the three stars..smiling at me. We were there. You were smiling at my tears..Sigh, what pleasure you get out of it. You asked me so many things. You got me thinking,like always. I keep thinking you are not ok wherever you are cuz you don't have us to take care of you. But I guess you would have made new friends with that magnetic personality you possess. Your silence speaks volumes to me but he doesn't hear you. He doesn't even hear me. As I told you last night, I will wait. I have been thinking so much for the past two days..Feels like I ve been enlightened. Like its a new life.New me.
I saw "dishum"..You would have made so much fun of it..Sad movie ma. Do you remember the "poems" in 12th std..Rads and I? Lol, funny times..Remember our first walk? Everything is vivid in my mind. We are going to keep you alive.Just hold on. See you tonight.
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Somehow yesterday I couldn't see you in the beautiful full moon like I did the last time. But I saw you somewhere between the three stars..smiling at me. We were there. You were smiling at my tears..Sigh, what pleasure you get out of it. You asked me so many things. You got me thinking,like always. I keep thinking you are not ok wherever you are cuz you don't have us to take care of you. But I guess you would have made new friends with that magnetic personality you possess. Your silence speaks volumes to me but he doesn't hear you. He doesn't even hear me. As I told you last night, I will wait. I have been thinking so much for the past two days..Feels like I ve been enlightened. Like its a new life.New me.
I saw "dishum"..You would have made so much fun of it..Sad movie ma. Do you remember the "poems" in 12th std..Rads and I? Lol, funny times..Remember our first walk? Everything is vivid in my mind. We are going to keep you alive.Just hold on. See you tonight.
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Hi, I downloaded few of your favorite things from your memory card, of course, you know I did not go into things, which you would not allow any one to do. I was wondering, how nice it will be if I can just edit and delete my memory, like the memory card of yours to retain only everything happened from 29th June, 1984 till 9.45 a.m on 3/3 and delete the balance things after that time. I will try, help me, show me the way. For me, every second of being with you was great, very few regrets…….Applu minus 42 days
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Hi Raja, I am back, I was not sure, how I will cope up, but nothing has changed, the same Erode, same problems, my observations and thought process were as sharp as ever, time flew. All of them were very understanding. Sponge iron plant is commissioned, where you wanted to go after commissioning. New Camri model was brought for test driving, as usual I could even joke. The car guy explained, the new Camri has a very good Oda Meter, I immediately said, “we need the car with Odum Meter and not with Oda Meter, What a joke ???. Without you, I never even felt like test driving the car. Few things, I used to go only in white cotton shirt, now I went in black, the leg pulling was missing, but time flew. But when I returned to catch my train, there was emptiness in my heart, because I realized, I can still work efficiently but with out motivation and purpose. Morning I was back, I went for my walk, it is time for you to go to college and ask your usual question “When did you come ?” You are not going ask me any more da, no, things have changed, life is not the same again for your applu. …….Applu minus 41 days.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Bro,
Today i felt that same pang of pain in me i feel everyday when I realized you are not here. It was a little more than the other days today. Are you ok?
Are you seeing all of this? Seeing us in pain? Have you made new friends down there? Give me a sign that you are fine. That you don't miss me. Remember you told me we ll go down there together? Got that room next to yours you promised? Did you get "Bro constantine" written on your door? Damn, I can't wait to see you..How long do I have to wait?
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Today i felt that same pang of pain in me i feel everyday when I realized you are not here. It was a little more than the other days today. Are you ok?
Are you seeing all of this? Seeing us in pain? Have you made new friends down there? Give me a sign that you are fine. That you don't miss me. Remember you told me we ll go down there together? Got that room next to yours you promised? Did you get "Bro constantine" written on your door? Damn, I can't wait to see you..How long do I have to wait?
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Bro,
I have just no energy left in me to absorb what's going on around me. He told me he doesn't care anymore,bro. Give me the bloody hope you used to. Why are you so passive?! Today, when I went past Vantage Towers I thought about the times you used to come downstairs to see me everytime I came there. I slip into a different world sometimes, where you are so real, your hugs are still warm and magical, you still talk to me. Suddenly, I snap back to "reality".Why doesnt "reality" have you in it?
It has him. Bro, he took care of me. I miss him. Tell him that. Remember the pseudo conference call? Lol. Thanks ,Bro. You did that just so i could hear his voice. Why did you do so much for me?
Love you ,
Sis constantine.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
ZORRO,
Crumbs of love,
i see me green.
You're a puddle of secrets
death stepped on .
I weep tirelessly.
Then i look,
who are you,
what have you woven me into?
Trials of life.
you've stirred up riddles.
I can see clear now.
you did have your bag of regrets,
but u knew u were caught in the web of monotony.
So u rested..
and hoped n waited for galadriel.
No announcements to the world,i have.
but helplesss pleas only to u.
People are playing tricks.
I have no wish to be part of them.
You wanted me on your path..and u had it
I liked it as much.
I'm still treading.
dont worry my zorro..
This song, no can sing..except the both of us!
- your galadriel..she might just wake up when u give her a sign. keep it going. our telepathy network is active n busy as always..death can't do us apart.
thats why i got back here to give u this song..i got the message that u needed it. read and swim deep in it...cos its in a typical galadriel rime note, can be uncoded only by her Zorro...
LOVE N PEACE
Crumbs of love,
i see me green.
You're a puddle of secrets
death stepped on .
I weep tirelessly.
Then i look,
who are you,
what have you woven me into?
Trials of life.
you've stirred up riddles.
I can see clear now.
you did have your bag of regrets,
but u knew u were caught in the web of monotony.
So u rested..
and hoped n waited for galadriel.
No announcements to the world,i have.
but helplesss pleas only to u.
People are playing tricks.
I have no wish to be part of them.
You wanted me on your path..and u had it
I liked it as much.
I'm still treading.
dont worry my zorro..
This song, no can sing..except the both of us!
- your galadriel..she might just wake up when u give her a sign. keep it going. our telepathy network is active n busy as always..death can't do us apart.
thats why i got back here to give u this song..i got the message that u needed it. read and swim deep in it...cos its in a typical galadriel rime note, can be uncoded only by her Zorro...
LOVE N PEACE
Zorro,
something came up on tv the other day..gemini channel. now i don't want u to laugh.you can call me 'golti' but don't gimme that grin. so there was nageshwara rao all sad ,singing n walking arnd a huge bungalow.(i think it was a remake of vasantha maligai).. i don't know, i heard a few lines and it killed me, rushed into my room to cry.i don't care if it sounds funny, but what he was saying was so poignant.
manasu gadhi inthae..
manishi gadhi inthae..
manasu unna manishiki gadhi inthae..
if i translate this , it wont have the same feel.so ask patti like u've always pestered her with every new word i'd use. if i come to know u laughed u're a dead man. zorro!!!
tears..missing u!! where u my peter pan? .. the name is more apt now than before. don't sit there plopped on that cloud, get down here. i envy u sometimes.. that u really are in NEVERLAND.. everything that we dreamed of..a whole new world where u're never gonna grow up, free from falsehood ,indulging in orgies of innocence and truth,and no twisted lies to take from a grown-up world..
i'm having a coupla nightmares . i choose to call them nightmares, cos u're there with me in the dream and i wake up suddenly to face the harsh truth that u're gone!! i die a million deaths at that point. as i keep reminding u , don't stand there and watch me at such times, fly to elsewhere beside another loved one.
3 more days and i'm done with college. i can never forget that day at college..for the first time ever Ganga screws up her speech..i did not agree with u then, but now i confess u were the cause( well..partly. an added reason was that i did not approve of chief guests). the whole scene was funny, two dumb actors on stage with two other loco dumb-heads from college( p and vp)..and MY GUY staring n grinning at me from amidst the crowd.. why wont i mess up..lol.. MISSING U..
love you..your Ganga
something came up on tv the other day..gemini channel. now i don't want u to laugh.you can call me 'golti' but don't gimme that grin. so there was nageshwara rao all sad ,singing n walking arnd a huge bungalow.(i think it was a remake of vasantha maligai).. i don't know, i heard a few lines and it killed me, rushed into my room to cry.i don't care if it sounds funny, but what he was saying was so poignant.
manasu gadhi inthae..
manishi gadhi inthae..
manasu unna manishiki gadhi inthae..
if i translate this , it wont have the same feel.so ask patti like u've always pestered her with every new word i'd use. if i come to know u laughed u're a dead man. zorro!!!
tears..missing u!! where u my peter pan? .. the name is more apt now than before. don't sit there plopped on that cloud, get down here. i envy u sometimes.. that u really are in NEVERLAND.. everything that we dreamed of..a whole new world where u're never gonna grow up, free from falsehood ,indulging in orgies of innocence and truth,and no twisted lies to take from a grown-up world..
i'm having a coupla nightmares . i choose to call them nightmares, cos u're there with me in the dream and i wake up suddenly to face the harsh truth that u're gone!! i die a million deaths at that point. as i keep reminding u , don't stand there and watch me at such times, fly to elsewhere beside another loved one.
3 more days and i'm done with college. i can never forget that day at college..for the first time ever Ganga screws up her speech..i did not agree with u then, but now i confess u were the cause( well..partly. an added reason was that i did not approve of chief guests). the whole scene was funny, two dumb actors on stage with two other loco dumb-heads from college( p and vp)..and MY GUY staring n grinning at me from amidst the crowd.. why wont i mess up..lol.. MISSING U..
love you..your Ganga
Monday, April 10, 2006
I am going to Erode after 5 weeks, always I say bye to you, before I leave, I am afraid to face to-morrow, more the day passes, more I keep thinking of you, let me try to message you to-morrow. Guide Gani, bye Raja.
Me, Gani & Harish went to watch a movie, how much you would have loved the movie. Yesterday night, me, Ma & Gani felt you around us so much, none could sleep the night, we miss you da. Show us the path, for me you are still there da. ……Applu minus 38 days.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
MA.....
Everytime i open this blog, i feel like im talkin to u but now some how REALITY seems to be strikin me harder n harder as days r passin by! ur absence is killing me ma....literally! the more i try, the more im hurtin myself! im still tryin to pick up all the peices that i shattered in to n this job looks like its never ending!! i just don wanna stop thinkin bout u.. me.. or rather like u wud call it "US"! you were my only world n u know that very well but now, only after uv been gone for sometime now, im gettin to know your actual world, filled with ppl who u love so much, ppl who love you so much! y did u keep me away from your world ma? y was i ur biggest or probably ur only secret ever? y jaan? did u think i din deserve ur love? is that y u left me....even without a goodbye ma? iv been very disturbed n tired of pretending to be normal....this is too much for me to take ma! plz take me away with you! will u? days seem to be flyin so fast, n we believe that these r the signs for 'The Day of Judgement' its nearin US! which means Death is nearin All of us!!! n this realization hit me only today when i was prayin for you, trust me, i was not scared, instead i was just more than Glad that im gona c u soon, very soon Amechi!!! though u called me ur princess n made our story seem like a baeutiful fairytale, everything right in place untill u were there! its sad the story had to have such a tragic end but im gona change our destiny into 'a dream come true!' will find u soon n will never let go of u ever again Ramesh. and live happily ever after!! with a perfect fairytale ending to it, oh i forgot theres no end to it, just the very begining n there we keep goin on! i swear!
You know i love painting scenaries right, but now iv lost interest in all that, coz....the day seems to have lost its glory n the night has lost its beauty, the moon looks dull n its not the bright shine im used to seeing! now all that ever looked beautiful to me was Your Angelic Face that Glows like the Dawn nd Your mesmerisin Smile...that lit my entire world, that is completely Dark now!!! what is left for me to paint, except for a blank paper full of blood stains on it!!! Remember this poem ma......
"HE CALLS HER 'SNOW WHITE'
A DROP OF HIS BLOOD...
IS ENOUGH TO STAIN HER COMPLEXION!
HIS TEAR WOULD MELT HER COMPLETELY.
N WASH HER PURE AGAIN!" ??????
how can she ever be pure n clear as a snow again without him? for....she will always live stained with blood that bleeds everyday from her heart, through her eyes, not bein able to see him anymore, hear him any longer or feel him near her???!!! give me an answer ma!
Do u remember how we keep talkin bout Linda Goodman's sun signs? i read ur sign again...today! oh God....all thats written there is so YOU ma!! every bit of it is so true!!! n i guess iv seen u n known u so well that i was literally able to see u there in writtin ma! guess i was blessed atleast in that way to have known u more than anybody else! will always be greatful for that jaan! will be countin my days to come n c u soon ma! bless me n give a lil strength to hold on till then ma!
ma.....plz pull me out of this never ending sorrow that i cant help burrying myself into!
dinno i cud even get so helpless without u Amechi?!!!
dying here literally! cryin to myself all along with not one soul to comfort,
need u beside me, really really do!
plz hear me luv!
plz come bck!
plzzzzzz............
bleedin to death,
ur Snow White!
Everytime i open this blog, i feel like im talkin to u but now some how REALITY seems to be strikin me harder n harder as days r passin by! ur absence is killing me ma....literally! the more i try, the more im hurtin myself! im still tryin to pick up all the peices that i shattered in to n this job looks like its never ending!! i just don wanna stop thinkin bout u.. me.. or rather like u wud call it "US"! you were my only world n u know that very well but now, only after uv been gone for sometime now, im gettin to know your actual world, filled with ppl who u love so much, ppl who love you so much! y did u keep me away from your world ma? y was i ur biggest or probably ur only secret ever? y jaan? did u think i din deserve ur love? is that y u left me....even without a goodbye ma? iv been very disturbed n tired of pretending to be normal....this is too much for me to take ma! plz take me away with you! will u? days seem to be flyin so fast, n we believe that these r the signs for 'The Day of Judgement' its nearin US! which means Death is nearin All of us!!! n this realization hit me only today when i was prayin for you, trust me, i was not scared, instead i was just more than Glad that im gona c u soon, very soon Amechi!!! though u called me ur princess n made our story seem like a baeutiful fairytale, everything right in place untill u were there! its sad the story had to have such a tragic end but im gona change our destiny into 'a dream come true!' will find u soon n will never let go of u ever again Ramesh. and live happily ever after!! with a perfect fairytale ending to it, oh i forgot theres no end to it, just the very begining n there we keep goin on! i swear!
You know i love painting scenaries right, but now iv lost interest in all that, coz....the day seems to have lost its glory n the night has lost its beauty, the moon looks dull n its not the bright shine im used to seeing! now all that ever looked beautiful to me was Your Angelic Face that Glows like the Dawn nd Your mesmerisin Smile...that lit my entire world, that is completely Dark now!!! what is left for me to paint, except for a blank paper full of blood stains on it!!! Remember this poem ma......
"HE CALLS HER 'SNOW WHITE'
A DROP OF HIS BLOOD...
IS ENOUGH TO STAIN HER COMPLEXION!
HIS TEAR WOULD MELT HER COMPLETELY.
N WASH HER PURE AGAIN!" ??????
how can she ever be pure n clear as a snow again without him? for....she will always live stained with blood that bleeds everyday from her heart, through her eyes, not bein able to see him anymore, hear him any longer or feel him near her???!!! give me an answer ma!
Do u remember how we keep talkin bout Linda Goodman's sun signs? i read ur sign again...today! oh God....all thats written there is so YOU ma!! every bit of it is so true!!! n i guess iv seen u n known u so well that i was literally able to see u there in writtin ma! guess i was blessed atleast in that way to have known u more than anybody else! will always be greatful for that jaan! will be countin my days to come n c u soon ma! bless me n give a lil strength to hold on till then ma!
ma.....plz pull me out of this never ending sorrow that i cant help burrying myself into!
dinno i cud even get so helpless without u Amechi?!!!
dying here literally! cryin to myself all along with not one soul to comfort,
need u beside me, really really do!
plz hear me luv!
plz come bck!
plzzzzzz............
bleedin to death,
ur Snow White!
How similar we were in our faith and belief, I did not know, now I know and the one who knows both of us knows, but not at your age. I am blessed to be your applu, you wanted to beat me in every thing I feel, I would have gladly lost to you, but why did you chose to beat me in the final call …. Applu minus 37 days
Saturday, April 08, 2006
CHAOS AND PAIN
tomorrow is april 9th.
one year back,this was the day, destiny brought us together..you said it better in a msg on july 19th 2005..
-"There lays the chapter of our lives-to-be, fresh outta the creator's hands.Neatly stacked to perfection but alas the fateful winds of change blew across a few pages of mine amongst your's, thus creating the greatest story NEVER-TOLD!"..
well, u're not with me now.
I am missing u like crazy, but..
its not about your messagaes;
its not about talking every night;
its not about missing your magical hugs;
its not even about our adventures at the palace(they were our best times. i relive every visit of ours, in my mind, every single day)
its not about all this..
Its just about your ABSENCE.
its easier to survive , with a deep sense of FIDELITY AND INFALLIBILITY of a fellow outsider's existence....and now,
YOU CAN'T JUST GO ON WITH LIFE WITHOUT YOUR OTHER HALF..CAN YA?????
* * * *
remember we played kite with dragonflies(our hearts),
you're dead now and you've vanished.
and i let go of my heart..
its singing wildly of a song of chaos n pain.
SO LOST WITHOUT YOU
your GANGA..(your galadriel's dead, by the way.galadriel does not exist without her zorro. ganga is what's left of your girl)
shall i come to see u?? I thought of it for long ..contemplating on the how to get myself to the place where u are now. but every path seems like a dead-end. i don't wanna hurt anyone. i'm gritting my teeth and fighting every day..every single day. THERE'S SOMETHING OF U INSIDE ME AND I'M "NOT" GONNA LET IT DIE TOO!!! LOVE YOU!
P.S: i know u are reading my diary .. i just know. i also know what pain you're going through watching us, stay close...i'll keep u warm. will always always always be there for u like i promised)
tomorrow is april 9th.
one year back,this was the day, destiny brought us together..you said it better in a msg on july 19th 2005..
-"There lays the chapter of our lives-to-be, fresh outta the creator's hands.Neatly stacked to perfection but alas the fateful winds of change blew across a few pages of mine amongst your's, thus creating the greatest story NEVER-TOLD!"..
well, u're not with me now.
I am missing u like crazy, but..
its not about your messagaes;
its not about talking every night;
its not about missing your magical hugs;
its not even about our adventures at the palace(they were our best times. i relive every visit of ours, in my mind, every single day)
its not about all this..
Its just about your ABSENCE.
its easier to survive , with a deep sense of FIDELITY AND INFALLIBILITY of a fellow outsider's existence....and now,
YOU CAN'T JUST GO ON WITH LIFE WITHOUT YOUR OTHER HALF..CAN YA?????
* * * *
remember we played kite with dragonflies(our hearts),
you're dead now and you've vanished.
and i let go of my heart..
its singing wildly of a song of chaos n pain.
SO LOST WITHOUT YOU
your GANGA..(your galadriel's dead, by the way.galadriel does not exist without her zorro. ganga is what's left of your girl)
shall i come to see u?? I thought of it for long ..contemplating on the how to get myself to the place where u are now. but every path seems like a dead-end. i don't wanna hurt anyone. i'm gritting my teeth and fighting every day..every single day. THERE'S SOMETHING OF U INSIDE ME AND I'M "NOT" GONNA LET IT DIE TOO!!! LOVE YOU!
P.S: i know u are reading my diary .. i just know. i also know what pain you're going through watching us, stay close...i'll keep u warm. will always always always be there for u like i promised)
Bro,
Listen real close, enough of this stupid game. Just come back. I am going through a very rough time. And it won't be fine till you talk to me. Everyone asks me to "move on". What does that even mean? Do they know how much you mean to me, how much i miss you? No one does. Or maybe they do. But do they know how much sadness there is inside me? Inside us?
You know what he is saying, Bro. You are hearing all of it. Will he see me? I will wait as long as it takes. I can't see him in pain because of me and you know that.
It's been just too long since you spoke to me. It feels like the world around me is moving, people saying and doing things and I m stuck here, in this pool of blood..i m not getting that hand I want, to lift me up. Give me the strength to get up.
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Listen real close, enough of this stupid game. Just come back. I am going through a very rough time. And it won't be fine till you talk to me. Everyone asks me to "move on". What does that even mean? Do they know how much you mean to me, how much i miss you? No one does. Or maybe they do. But do they know how much sadness there is inside me? Inside us?
You know what he is saying, Bro. You are hearing all of it. Will he see me? I will wait as long as it takes. I can't see him in pain because of me and you know that.
It's been just too long since you spoke to me. It feels like the world around me is moving, people saying and doing things and I m stuck here, in this pool of blood..i m not getting that hand I want, to lift me up. Give me the strength to get up.
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Yesterday, through out I felt your presence around me, I understand you wanted to talk to me, when ? Do I have to meet you wherever you are to listen to you, I will be glad to at the earliest…….Applu minus 36 days.
MA...
How you doin today? well....me? u know iv not been the same without u beside me but i have been pushin myself to move on with life, like you always say....." KEEP PLAYING WITH THE MUSIC AND LIFE IS A RHYTHM...YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP SINGIN WITH IT!!!" but ma... days seem to be so long ever since uv not been around n i have so much so much time left...all to myself, but nothing seems to be of any use to me ma?? i am so use to spendin all my days n nights with u, sharin every single thing we do, now anything n everything that i come across seems so incomplete jaan!!! i know u wanna come back to us ma!!! but god's life pattern n his plan for the mortals dont work that way....or duz it? wish it can be possible only in ur case, infact..... what r MIRACLES for,miracles r suppose to happen atleast to one among zillions! y cant it be U? im just dreamin, hopin, prayin, wishin that something might bring you back to us somehow!! living with that only faith every second ma! u always loved the poems that i write for u ya?....i wrote one for you now ma.....
"HEAVEN IS WHERE I WANT TO BE....
AND YOUR THE ONLY SOUL I WANT RIGHT NEXT TO ME!
I HOLD U SO TIGHT IN MY ARM....
AND ME...SIMPLY GAZING AT UR CHARM!
ANGEL....THAT 'IS' TRULY HEAVEN!
AND THATS "ALL"I CAN BE GIVEN!!!"
ma hope u liked it? do let me know! missin you so much Amechi! i know ur always watchin over me n with that belief i will keep goin on. show me the way that leads me to this magical place that u r in right now n promise me to keep me safe with you in that world like u did here! plz don ever hurt us again by leavin like this ma! we love you too much baby! Applu, ma, gani, patte, me, sis n all the other loved ones need you all through out! plz plz stand by us to show us the path to happiness, path that leads us to you! give us the strength to beleive that you r here with us all the time! plz do this one last favour for me? plz ma???
You take good care of urself Angel!
love you always...urs n only urs
lovin...
Snow White!
How you doin today? well....me? u know iv not been the same without u beside me but i have been pushin myself to move on with life, like you always say....." KEEP PLAYING WITH THE MUSIC AND LIFE IS A RHYTHM...YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP SINGIN WITH IT!!!" but ma... days seem to be so long ever since uv not been around n i have so much so much time left...all to myself, but nothing seems to be of any use to me ma?? i am so use to spendin all my days n nights with u, sharin every single thing we do, now anything n everything that i come across seems so incomplete jaan!!! i know u wanna come back to us ma!!! but god's life pattern n his plan for the mortals dont work that way....or duz it? wish it can be possible only in ur case, infact..... what r MIRACLES for,miracles r suppose to happen atleast to one among zillions! y cant it be U? im just dreamin, hopin, prayin, wishin that something might bring you back to us somehow!! living with that only faith every second ma! u always loved the poems that i write for u ya?....i wrote one for you now ma.....
"HEAVEN IS WHERE I WANT TO BE....
AND YOUR THE ONLY SOUL I WANT RIGHT NEXT TO ME!
I HOLD U SO TIGHT IN MY ARM....
AND ME...SIMPLY GAZING AT UR CHARM!
ANGEL....THAT 'IS' TRULY HEAVEN!
AND THATS "ALL"I CAN BE GIVEN!!!"
ma hope u liked it? do let me know! missin you so much Amechi! i know ur always watchin over me n with that belief i will keep goin on. show me the way that leads me to this magical place that u r in right now n promise me to keep me safe with you in that world like u did here! plz don ever hurt us again by leavin like this ma! we love you too much baby! Applu, ma, gani, patte, me, sis n all the other loved ones need you all through out! plz plz stand by us to show us the path to happiness, path that leads us to you! give us the strength to beleive that you r here with us all the time! plz do this one last favour for me? plz ma???
You take good care of urself Angel!
love you always...urs n only urs
lovin...
Snow White!
Friday, April 07, 2006
Bro,
I spoke to Applu today. I feel like I have known him for ages..It felt like I was talking to you. I know you are in him. He misses you ma. We all do. Give him and all of us the strength to carry on. Only you can do that. Tell us you are fine. Give us that sign. I worry about you too much,bro..You know i always have. "Minnale" came on TV a few days back, your favourite movie ma. Everything reminds me of you. Everyday I thank you for being a part of my life..You will always be that part of me. I have my university viva on monday. Stay with me like you did for my exam 2 days back. Just keep smiling, thats enough. You speak so much when you don't say anything. But you never answer my questions.
Love you,
Sis Constantine.
I spoke to Applu today. I feel like I have known him for ages..It felt like I was talking to you. I know you are in him. He misses you ma. We all do. Give him and all of us the strength to carry on. Only you can do that. Tell us you are fine. Give us that sign. I worry about you too much,bro..You know i always have. "Minnale" came on TV a few days back, your favourite movie ma. Everything reminds me of you. Everyday I thank you for being a part of my life..You will always be that part of me. I have my university viva on monday. Stay with me like you did for my exam 2 days back. Just keep smiling, thats enough. You speak so much when you don't say anything. But you never answer my questions.
Love you,
Sis Constantine.
Time, every one is carrying on with their life, to-day if I speak about you I am afraid people feel uneasy, my grief is becoming an embarrassment. Time has changed every one except me, ma & few souls close to you. I will stop talking about you with others any more except with those few who really mean to you. Guide me Raja, this blog any more is only between you and those few and me……….Applu minus 35 days.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
hi hi hi hi hi....i just wanted to thank u for coming in my dreams yesterday afternoon. thanks a lot....in the dream itself i knew it was just a wild vision with u next to me sitting and talking.... but then something happened to tell me that it was u....u know it....u asked me the latest champions league scores and the fate of liverpool....and u said ull always support kimi and mclaren....i remember watching something on tv in tat dream... it was an ac milan match...i remember well...it was 1-1 at half time...tat also i tht was just a wild vision but then after getting up i checked skysports.com.....it was true re...ac milan 1 and lyon 1 at half time....then only i believed tat ur still there with us.....tats enough for me....thank u...thank u very much....just do tat atleast once a month if not more often and ill tell u all the latest news in football and f1....till next time
ganesh
ganesh
I removed my beard, attended work, met people and tried few things to start living a normal life at least for the sake of others, end of the day, I realize what a charade it was all, I realized, my life is not the same again…….Applu minus 34days
Ma!!!
Wish i was GOD and had the power to bring Broken Souls together n make it into ONE again!!! coz without u beside us.... we r all in thousand pieces! is there anything that i can do to turn back time? uv always spent most of the time taechin me to live a life that has absolute meaning to it, teaching me what exactly life is all about! n even after uv not been around, u never fail to teach me the right things in life...... one thing that iv learnt now is that "LOVE IS A TREE, THE MORE IT ROOTS IN OUR HEART, THE MORE PAIN IT YEILDS....AND LIFE IS ALL ABOUT PAIN UNTILL WE GET IMMUNE TO IT!!!" im learnin somethin new everyday nd actually this world is NO BIG DEAL at all! this life is just a small train journey nd i believe u just had to get down a lil earlier than all of us..... its not gonna take long for me to reach my destination aswell! i know ur gona be waiting for me there already, will be there soon luv!! i know You are where I belong!!!
GOT TO LEAVE.....
My departure time is already here!
plz hold on.....
my destination duzn seem too far to me!
i can see you standin right there waitin for me!
luv
Snow White.
Wish i was GOD and had the power to bring Broken Souls together n make it into ONE again!!! coz without u beside us.... we r all in thousand pieces! is there anything that i can do to turn back time? uv always spent most of the time taechin me to live a life that has absolute meaning to it, teaching me what exactly life is all about! n even after uv not been around, u never fail to teach me the right things in life...... one thing that iv learnt now is that "LOVE IS A TREE, THE MORE IT ROOTS IN OUR HEART, THE MORE PAIN IT YEILDS....AND LIFE IS ALL ABOUT PAIN UNTILL WE GET IMMUNE TO IT!!!" im learnin somethin new everyday nd actually this world is NO BIG DEAL at all! this life is just a small train journey nd i believe u just had to get down a lil earlier than all of us..... its not gonna take long for me to reach my destination aswell! i know ur gona be waiting for me there already, will be there soon luv!! i know You are where I belong!!!
GOT TO LEAVE.....
My departure time is already here!
plz hold on.....
my destination duzn seem too far to me!
i can see you standin right there waitin for me!
luv
Snow White.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Hey bro ma,
Wrote the first exam ok..But the second one, i couldn't write. Was falling asleep. I looked out of the window, i could see you. I know you are here. I was thinking about how you told me we would be bro sis for real in the next birth. I can't wait, bro. I want to be your sis and take care of you like you took care of me.
Bro, but why did you write that poem? I told you not to think that way when you sent me that. Did you see it coming? Were you trying to tell us something all along? You smiled so much today..Whats making you so happy? Tell me.
Love you,
Sis constantine.
Bro,
Got the helium balloon we sent you? I know you did. It just disappeared, like you grabbed it from us. That was a sign, bro. We know where you are now. You know exactly what I am going through, don't you..You always have. You are such a mind reader. I wonder why i did psychology at times..Now tell me what to do like you always have. Sis fells the emptiness ,bro. The one you have never wanted her to feel. I miss your hugs. So comforting, so warm. Bro, be my angel. Guide me, like you always have. Protect me. Remember the time i called someone else my bro and you got so angry..I swear you are my ONLY bro. No one can or will ever take your place.
Love you,
Sis constatine..
Got the helium balloon we sent you? I know you did. It just disappeared, like you grabbed it from us. That was a sign, bro. We know where you are now. You know exactly what I am going through, don't you..You always have. You are such a mind reader. I wonder why i did psychology at times..Now tell me what to do like you always have. Sis fells the emptiness ,bro. The one you have never wanted her to feel. I miss your hugs. So comforting, so warm. Bro, be my angel. Guide me, like you always have. Protect me. Remember the time i called someone else my bro and you got so angry..I swear you are my ONLY bro. No one can or will ever take your place.
Love you,
Sis constatine..
Raja,
Do you remember, I always tell you to learn to manage your time, because you can get back everything, except the time lost. Time was precious for me till the time you breathed, now tell me what do I do with my time, except to wait for my time. ……..Applu minus 33 days.
Do you remember, I always tell you to learn to manage your time, because you can get back everything, except the time lost. Time was precious for me till the time you breathed, now tell me what do I do with my time, except to wait for my time. ……..Applu minus 33 days.
MA.........
Sittin here still, all alone,
with no sleep in my eyes,
Eyes wide open...Vision so clear,
yet so faint is the road iv taken!
walkin my way in the dark Ally,
with no hand to hold me tight!
still decide to move forward...
just hopin to reach the light!
so scared, so lost....
yet a lil happy...thinkin bout the past!
still sittin here still, all alone.
left with faint memories.....
and Memories are all i have!
untill i meet my destiny!!!
" Another Night just passed by....without u!
feels like iv already died a Hundred million times,
And another day begins....without u!
how many more Deaths do i have to DIE??"
WAITIN to see you soon jaan!!!
untill then...promise to take good care of urself.
love you always.....
Snow White!!!
Sittin here still, all alone,
with no sleep in my eyes,
Eyes wide open...Vision so clear,
yet so faint is the road iv taken!
walkin my way in the dark Ally,
with no hand to hold me tight!
still decide to move forward...
just hopin to reach the light!
so scared, so lost....
yet a lil happy...thinkin bout the past!
still sittin here still, all alone.
left with faint memories.....
and Memories are all i have!
untill i meet my destiny!!!
" Another Night just passed by....without u!
feels like iv already died a Hundred million times,
And another day begins....without u!
how many more Deaths do i have to DIE??"
WAITIN to see you soon jaan!!!
untill then...promise to take good care of urself.
love you always.....
Snow White!!!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Bro,
I just saw your bus pass with your picture..yeah, the one you gave me when i tied you a rakhi the first time. You had nothing to give me so i asked you to give me anything to remember you by and you gave me your bus pass...how thoughtful of you ma.You came to see me on my birthday and you hugged me..Bro, if only i had known that was the last time you were going to hug me i wouldn't have let go of you. I have two exams tomorrow and i havent touched my books as yet. You wished me luck for every single exam,bro. I can't write my exams without that and you know it. I want a sign from you ma. Wish me luck. Please. You know whats happening here. You know how much i need you right here. MY only bro...
Sis constantine..
I just saw your bus pass with your picture..yeah, the one you gave me when i tied you a rakhi the first time. You had nothing to give me so i asked you to give me anything to remember you by and you gave me your bus pass...how thoughtful of you ma.You came to see me on my birthday and you hugged me..Bro, if only i had known that was the last time you were going to hug me i wouldn't have let go of you. I have two exams tomorrow and i havent touched my books as yet. You wished me luck for every single exam,bro. I can't write my exams without that and you know it. I want a sign from you ma. Wish me luck. Please. You know whats happening here. You know how much i need you right here. MY only bro...
Sis constantine..
Zorro,
remember the time,i had a small tiff with mummy..you din't even wait to hear the whole story..the first thing u asked me was if i had told her sorry..Ramesh, why did it have to happen to someone so good like u? thanks to u now, life's lost its meaning. futile.
the world din't stop spinning, zorro..newspapers still speak loud and shallow. ppl continue hiding behind masks. everything is moving..don't know where everyone's going!
Zorro ma.. hope u're doing good. i'm writing even more these days. reading more of NICK HORNBY .. i knew u'd remember. well, he makes sense again- in the end, we learn that life is hollow,dismal,brutish and short.
Oh.. and i decided to write a book on everything about us, about the things we did, about everyone we talked and cared about..everything!i'm so grateful that i wrote down all your messages. i have every one of them..all dated. remember i teased u that, i'm writing them, so that when i'm bored of u, i can read them again and refresh our bond..well my journals seem like holy books- glowing when u turn its pages..full of words u chose to kiss. they're beautiful.
i know we agreed that u're the book-writing type,but hell i feel like one now. well we don't know, this new interst might just die..like how i thought i'd bring to reality our dream home..i grew up...i then thought of painting your name on all my t-shirts...and i grew up again...now i'm on the book thingy(i'm thinking of a tatoo too)!!!!
there's one character in Hornby's book. he puts it right- we are what's happened to us. so if u take away what's happened to us then u know it'll all be different.
Iam here, as what i am , cos so-so things happened in life, and my folks moulded me in so-so ways...u happened(that was the best thing) and u also din't happen. events of such magnitude u for life.
Of course, u were born to be a star. ultimately it all comes to this, the times we've spoken about all this-being stars(exploiting each other's shine), being different, being crazy, being rebels, and somehow being everybody's darling too!!!
Actually i can't stop talking, i can't stop thinking, can't stop doing u.("how u doing Zorro?- " am so doing u my galadriel"lol..)
i started off , all confused, wondering what purpose this blog was serving, .. is it for u, or is it for others to read it and feel moved n all and say" oh.. he was such good guy". i still don't know, i know i'm talking to you.
this whole blog thingy is no harm at all. we may not know each other but we definitely know what it feels like to know not where in your body,blood is rushing into,..when u breathe so hard u don't know where u are ,.. when tears pierce painfully out of your eyes ....all this when Ramesh stares at u from only a photograph!!!! ...... everytime ..the fact that u've gone..it hits me like the first time..like some rock landed on my lungs and i choke and breathe fast.
you're quite a smooth talker,trust me..shine your brilliant smile and talk your way out..i know there's NO god, but there must be some kinda control or mediator. trick him/it. the logic- when life as a system can be made a fool by death, why not pull a trick on death, u know.. reversing the reaction..becos death broke the rule, killed u early, so do something na.. or gimme a sign, i'll try helping u. had enough of this crazy world.
get here soon..
remember the time,i had a small tiff with mummy..you din't even wait to hear the whole story..the first thing u asked me was if i had told her sorry..Ramesh, why did it have to happen to someone so good like u? thanks to u now, life's lost its meaning. futile.
the world din't stop spinning, zorro..newspapers still speak loud and shallow. ppl continue hiding behind masks. everything is moving..don't know where everyone's going!
Zorro ma.. hope u're doing good. i'm writing even more these days. reading more of NICK HORNBY .. i knew u'd remember. well, he makes sense again- in the end, we learn that life is hollow,dismal,brutish and short.
Oh.. and i decided to write a book on everything about us, about the things we did, about everyone we talked and cared about..everything!i'm so grateful that i wrote down all your messages. i have every one of them..all dated. remember i teased u that, i'm writing them, so that when i'm bored of u, i can read them again and refresh our bond..well my journals seem like holy books- glowing when u turn its pages..full of words u chose to kiss. they're beautiful.
i know we agreed that u're the book-writing type,but hell i feel like one now. well we don't know, this new interst might just die..like how i thought i'd bring to reality our dream home..i grew up...i then thought of painting your name on all my t-shirts...and i grew up again...now i'm on the book thingy(i'm thinking of a tatoo too)!!!!
there's one character in Hornby's book. he puts it right- we are what's happened to us. so if u take away what's happened to us then u know it'll all be different.
Iam here, as what i am , cos so-so things happened in life, and my folks moulded me in so-so ways...u happened(that was the best thing) and u also din't happen. events of such magnitude u for life.
Of course, u were born to be a star. ultimately it all comes to this, the times we've spoken about all this-being stars(exploiting each other's shine), being different, being crazy, being rebels, and somehow being everybody's darling too!!!
Actually i can't stop talking, i can't stop thinking, can't stop doing u.("how u doing Zorro?- " am so doing u my galadriel"lol..)
i started off , all confused, wondering what purpose this blog was serving, .. is it for u, or is it for others to read it and feel moved n all and say" oh.. he was such good guy". i still don't know, i know i'm talking to you.
this whole blog thingy is no harm at all. we may not know each other but we definitely know what it feels like to know not where in your body,blood is rushing into,..when u breathe so hard u don't know where u are ,.. when tears pierce painfully out of your eyes ....all this when Ramesh stares at u from only a photograph!!!! ...... everytime ..the fact that u've gone..it hits me like the first time..like some rock landed on my lungs and i choke and breathe fast.
you're quite a smooth talker,trust me..shine your brilliant smile and talk your way out..i know there's NO god, but there must be some kinda control or mediator. trick him/it. the logic- when life as a system can be made a fool by death, why not pull a trick on death, u know.. reversing the reaction..becos death broke the rule, killed u early, so do something na.. or gimme a sign, i'll try helping u. had enough of this crazy world.
get here soon..
Morning ma,
How are you today? I went to Coronet juice shop alone today..the place we used to go and make fun of everyone who walked in. I felt like you were sitting next to me having your favorite mango shake. Bro, there are so many things i need to ask you. See me once. See applu once. We are all waiting for that day. I wrote another poem..
As this silnce fills my heart today,
Do you hear my cries from the place you lay,
I wait in this darkness for your touch so cold,
My skin so wet from all the tears that rolled,
Take me away to that place you belong,
You become death to me, why doesn't it seem wrong?
You promised to take me to auf plate biryani kadai once. I m not going there until you take me ma.
Waiting for you,
Sis constantine.
How are you today? I went to Coronet juice shop alone today..the place we used to go and make fun of everyone who walked in. I felt like you were sitting next to me having your favorite mango shake. Bro, there are so many things i need to ask you. See me once. See applu once. We are all waiting for that day. I wrote another poem..
As this silnce fills my heart today,
Do you hear my cries from the place you lay,
I wait in this darkness for your touch so cold,
My skin so wet from all the tears that rolled,
Take me away to that place you belong,
You become death to me, why doesn't it seem wrong?
You promised to take me to auf plate biryani kadai once. I m not going there until you take me ma.
Waiting for you,
Sis constantine.
Raja
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. But not in your case, you lived your life and still live in our hearts, I am proud of you.
Applu minus 32 days.
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. But not in your case, you lived your life and still live in our hearts, I am proud of you.
Applu minus 32 days.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Hey bro,
No one takes care of your sis like you did. Come back ma. Enough of this hide and seek. Today it felt like you were with me the whole day. You loved my poems..wrote one today ma. Check it out.
Your eyes closed, skin so cold;
As I look at you, you don't look so bold;
I call your name, I look for you again;
My heart bleeds for you, as I go insane;
I wake up beside you, I can't feel your breath on my skin;
I run and hide from myself, I feel the pain freeze from within.
How s it ma? Tell me..Will write you one evreyday. Goodnight bro. Love you.
No one takes care of your sis like you did. Come back ma. Enough of this hide and seek. Today it felt like you were with me the whole day. You loved my poems..wrote one today ma. Check it out.
Your eyes closed, skin so cold;
As I look at you, you don't look so bold;
I call your name, I look for you again;
My heart bleeds for you, as I go insane;
I wake up beside you, I can't feel your breath on my skin;
I run and hide from myself, I feel the pain freeze from within.
How s it ma? Tell me..Will write you one evreyday. Goodnight bro. Love you.
This system that life is, all burnt n stale, but pretty to the eyes, and smells of flowers all the time... WHAT A PERFECT TRAP!!! you've escaped it, i'm gonna fight it, and make u say it again- " i'm so proud of my galadriel"..
special message to ganesh(zlittle/zbro),
may magical moments define your life,
like it did ours.
-Ramesh J and Ganga Rudraiah..
LONG LIVE OUTSIDERS!!!!
special message to ganesh(zlittle/zbro),
may magical moments define your life,
like it did ours.
-Ramesh J and Ganga Rudraiah..
LONG LIVE OUTSIDERS!!!!
its so true is'nt it....the fact that death really has a pattern for everybody.im sure ull know what im talking. actually u may not u may remember the messages u sent to one of ur friends regarding the deal made and the broken shards of glass....now u remember.ur really amazing u seem to have deciphered death's design for urself so clearly and even expressed it to ur friend.uve managed to find out what was in store for u and if u remember u even wished for it to happen.....BUT WHY...why didnt u cheat the pattern, why didnt u cheat death when it came for u.....u did so well expressing it...but u ignored the signs....u lost out.till next time.
bye
ganesh
bye
ganesh
Ramesh, it feels good to call u that for a change. 'Zorro' sounds so mine. u have always belonged to many hearts. Ramesh, what were u thinkin?..while riding that bike?, what did u see, what did u hear?? i'm so sure, someone else decided for u that day.its so not u. i definitely can't forget your sermon on "not to get on two-wheelers"!!!
< destiny has its own mysterious way of bringing ppl together. two complete strangers bump into each other accidentally.they liberate each other. be their real selves. each of us have this private space(episodes like..u know who u're talkin to when u look at yourself in the mirror)..yeah..so they shared this space.how lethal could it get..then they started off with this club kinda thing-(membership strictly restricted to the both of em alone)They called themselves THE OUTSIDERS..picture this- a crescent moon..every nite they'd take a trip to their moon,sit,talk,sing and dangling legs and rule the world that's sleeping, when there's no place for falsity! >
Ramesh u ain't ordinary. a rarity for sure. what u doing now? asleep..awake? or have u turned into a real angel?? watch over all of us,will u. i can feel u around sometimes..sometimes not, then i'd think some one else needed u. heartaches, tears, and broken smiles..that's all we've got..but u don't worry much.just stay around and let us know.
< they carried faint worries.he promised he'd never let go of her and they put their trust in time to help them define their relationship.>
ramesh ur eyes spoke so much truth. no masks. no veiled thoughts. u were too sweet a guy , someone could eat u up! i have this one question that's hauntingt me-WHY? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? .. He was full of secrets. she was his biggest secret,..becos they believed the herd would never understand.
Zorro, it looks like we presumed. All , near and dear to me, understood perfectly that our story was one of a kind..not cliched..very magical!!!
RAMESH, THIS BRUISE WILL NEVER HEAL..YOUR SMILE WILL NEVER FADE!! - YOUR GANGA..always
< destiny has its own mysterious way of bringing ppl together. two complete strangers bump into each other accidentally.they liberate each other. be their real selves. each of us have this private space(episodes like..u know who u're talkin to when u look at yourself in the mirror)..yeah..so they shared this space.how lethal could it get..then they started off with this club kinda thing-(membership strictly restricted to the both of em alone)They called themselves THE OUTSIDERS..picture this- a crescent moon..every nite they'd take a trip to their moon,sit,talk,sing and dangling legs and rule the world that's sleeping, when there's no place for falsity! >
Ramesh u ain't ordinary. a rarity for sure. what u doing now? asleep..awake? or have u turned into a real angel?? watch over all of us,will u. i can feel u around sometimes..sometimes not, then i'd think some one else needed u. heartaches, tears, and broken smiles..that's all we've got..but u don't worry much.just stay around and let us know.
< they carried faint worries.he promised he'd never let go of her and they put their trust in time to help them define their relationship.>
ramesh ur eyes spoke so much truth. no masks. no veiled thoughts. u were too sweet a guy , someone could eat u up! i have this one question that's hauntingt me-WHY? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? .. He was full of secrets. she was his biggest secret,..becos they believed the herd would never understand.
Zorro, it looks like we presumed. All , near and dear to me, understood perfectly that our story was one of a kind..not cliched..very magical!!!
RAMESH, THIS BRUISE WILL NEVER HEAL..YOUR SMILE WILL NEVER FADE!! - YOUR GANGA..always
Equation
Answer for the calculation 3/3=1 for every one, for us, 3/3=BIG 0, THIS ANSWER WILL NEVER CHANGE FOR US. Applu Minus 31 days
Hi Ma!!!
what am i doing here right now, at this time?.....well Do u know what day is today? today is 3rd!.....its been exactly a month ma! nd im already half dead!!! how can days fly so fast? it seems like yesterday.... i saw u smile, heard ur voice!!! everyday has been so hard n it seemed like movin a mountain of pain. so scared of tomorrow, im growin weak evey sec without u!! y did u leave without me? wasn i a good friend to u? wasn i ur best friend Amechi? we shared everything from mornin till night, y did u take this alone by urself? u know il do anything for u! these days without u dont seem real to me! infact nothing seems REAL to me without u! plz give me back the meaning to my life! plz come ma! cant u see me cry? cant u hear me plead??!!! i will wait, no matter how long it takes!!! let it be a month, a year, watever!!! i will see u jaan, i will see you soon!
missin u so badly ma!
luv
Snow White!
what am i doing here right now, at this time?.....well Do u know what day is today? today is 3rd!.....its been exactly a month ma! nd im already half dead!!! how can days fly so fast? it seems like yesterday.... i saw u smile, heard ur voice!!! everyday has been so hard n it seemed like movin a mountain of pain. so scared of tomorrow, im growin weak evey sec without u!! y did u leave without me? wasn i a good friend to u? wasn i ur best friend Amechi? we shared everything from mornin till night, y did u take this alone by urself? u know il do anything for u! these days without u dont seem real to me! infact nothing seems REAL to me without u! plz give me back the meaning to my life! plz come ma! cant u see me cry? cant u hear me plead??!!! i will wait, no matter how long it takes!!! let it be a month, a year, watever!!! i will see u jaan, i will see you soon!
missin u so badly ma!
luv
Snow White!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sonday
When I see the sunrise when I walk on the terrace, I was hoping for a good day before I see the sunrise next day and I come back from my walk and see my son raise from sleep and feel contented.
Now, when I see the sunrise on my walk on the beach, I am hoping it should be the last sunrise I see, because I can't see my son raise any more and my son has already been set in the sea with my own hands. ......Applu Minus 30 days.
Hi MA!!!
how u doin today? well, me.....not one day iv gone to sleep without ur goodnight wishes n not one day passes by without ur goodmornings!! seriously..... how can u stay away from all of us for this long ma??? certainly i cant! plz come back Ramesh!!!!
"WHEN YOU WERE BORN, YOU CRIED AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU REJOICED!.... YOU LIVED A KIND OF LIFE THAT WHEN YOU DIED, EVERYONE AROUND YOU CRIED AND YOU REJOICED!"
why ma??? theres something wrong some where!!! you are still here n we all believe that you are just plyin the fool out'v us! enough ma, this is too much to take for us! we love you too much for all this ma!!! i can still hear ur voice,u singin all those beautiful songs to me, i can still see u doin that vijay dance, ur SMILE....that speaks thousands n thousands of magic!! i want all that bck ma!! plz give that to me! cant do without it!! r u listening??? i will be right here waiting for you!!
love ya
ur
Snow White!
how u doin today? well, me.....not one day iv gone to sleep without ur goodnight wishes n not one day passes by without ur goodmornings!! seriously..... how can u stay away from all of us for this long ma??? certainly i cant! plz come back Ramesh!!!!
"WHEN YOU WERE BORN, YOU CRIED AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU REJOICED!.... YOU LIVED A KIND OF LIFE THAT WHEN YOU DIED, EVERYONE AROUND YOU CRIED AND YOU REJOICED!"
why ma??? theres something wrong some where!!! you are still here n we all believe that you are just plyin the fool out'v us! enough ma, this is too much to take for us! we love you too much for all this ma!!! i can still hear ur voice,u singin all those beautiful songs to me, i can still see u doin that vijay dance, ur SMILE....that speaks thousands n thousands of magic!! i want all that bck ma!! plz give that to me! cant do without it!! r u listening??? i will be right here waiting for you!!
love ya
ur
Snow White!
one of the most cherished moments in my life was the 2 week vacation in hyderabad.... we used to talk abt it all the time.... when ever we plan anything else... we always used to keep the hyderabad trip as a bench mark.... The great "H & B" trip.... we used to do all sorts of weird things n pranks there.... this is a pic taken in hyd lifestyle.... he was trying on a pair of "love glasses"...
...H&B bro
(sami)
Saturday, April 01, 2006
April 1st
I was hoping God will say today April fool, your baby was just away and will be back...I want to be a April Fool, please. Applu
I was hoping God will say today April fool, your baby was just away and will be back...I want to be a April Fool, please. Applu
Raja,
From day one, ma is to wash and iron your dresses, you know why, because she wanted you to feel her hands on you all the time. We all cry and say everything, she suffers in silence and cries in her heart, won’t you at least come in her dreams and ask her not to suffer. Applu...Minus 29 days
From day one, ma is to wash and iron your dresses, you know why, because she wanted you to feel her hands on you all the time. We all cry and say everything, she suffers in silence and cries in her heart, won’t you at least come in her dreams and ask her not to suffer. Applu...Minus 29 days
Friday, March 31, 2006
when this blog thing was started i tht it was a waste of time. now look at me, im filling it in almost everyday. its the only way i can talk to u but u dont reply. like i have a choice.hey can u hear me sing the song "hear you me" almost everyday. it suits exactly the betrayal u did to me and to all.how does it feel up there. what happens to all the memories, do they wither away? are u asleep always or can u see everything without being able to talk to us. uve got me even more curious about death but dont worry i wont do anyhitng dumb, i wanna see my life through, i wanna see everyone happy again like u were here. are u seeing all this. pls tell me how does it feel after ur dead, pls tell me. maybe ill write it down as my next book. reply atleast once.......
ganesh
ganesh
Raja,
Weak (Week) Days mean
For Applu & Ma
Saturday
Sonday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday and
Doomsday
Applu……..minus 28 days
Weak (Week) Days mean
For Applu & Ma
Saturday
Sonday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday and
Doomsday
Applu……..minus 28 days
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Bro,
i have nothing left to say. i talk to you everyday looking at the moon. you promised you will stay here with me always. i know you wont break your promise. its going to be a month and not one day has gone by without tears for you. every single day seems like an effort. i still look at the phone for your "good morning sis ma. love you" and "i cant go to sleep without you saying goodnight,sis." ma, no one can ever replace you. you were and will be my only bro.
love you,
sis constantine.
i have nothing left to say. i talk to you everyday looking at the moon. you promised you will stay here with me always. i know you wont break your promise. its going to be a month and not one day has gone by without tears for you. every single day seems like an effort. i still look at the phone for your "good morning sis ma. love you" and "i cant go to sleep without you saying goodnight,sis." ma, no one can ever replace you. you were and will be my only bro.
love you,
sis constantine.
Born to be a Star
Hey my lovable Bro,
why did you do like this. .. . Any prob with me da. I knew that you liked me a lot.But only on 3rd nd 4th i came to know how much you love me through your friends.I will never forget the moments i shared with you . . . right from starting. . . motor cycle game, dark room, hide nd seek, the night chats ,cards, the farud we use to do while playing cards, dinner at GRT grand(OC soru),Cool Cats,pleasent eve in beach,bajji, your funny kiddings on me with your machan, the eve in sarang, the night we went to pickup akka in airport, that dubai joke,the eve we went to anna nagar, the messages we both were doing, your kiddings with that guy(....a)that night you asked me to stay but i was unlucky to do it da,the film s we went E 20 U18, thirupachi, ....your lovable wordings to me....." I love you sis ma", lovely
cousin, none of the bitch can before her(u told to ur friend priya)fav sis, . . . . will take me to h. . . ,d......., dhaba,the promises u made me. . will be with me till my marriage, abt that p...., nd abt v...., nd u told will were kappu even when u go to US . . . but now u removed it nah.....i pray to god you must come again in my life as my child..... i promise u will name my child as Ramesh...none knew how close we were da......
i miss you lot.........nd i love you da bro........plz come back again........ i know u will do it for me....(ur true on me will make you to do it)
with lots of luv
vidhya(sis ma)
Hey my lovable Bro,
why did you do like this. .. . Any prob with me da. I knew that you liked me a lot.But only on 3rd nd 4th i came to know how much you love me through your friends.I will never forget the moments i shared with you . . . right from starting. . . motor cycle game, dark room, hide nd seek, the night chats ,cards, the farud we use to do while playing cards, dinner at GRT grand(OC soru),Cool Cats,pleasent eve in beach,bajji, your funny kiddings on me with your machan, the eve in sarang, the night we went to pickup akka in airport, that dubai joke,the eve we went to anna nagar, the messages we both were doing, your kiddings with that guy(....a)that night you asked me to stay but i was unlucky to do it da,the film s we went E 20 U18, thirupachi, ....your lovable wordings to me....." I love you sis ma", lovely
cousin, none of the bitch can before her(u told to ur friend priya)fav sis, . . . . will take me to h. . . ,d......., dhaba,the promises u made me. . will be with me till my marriage, abt that p...., nd abt v...., nd u told will were kappu even when u go to US . . . but now u removed it nah.....i pray to god you must come again in my life as my child..... i promise u will name my child as Ramesh...none knew how close we were da......
i miss you lot.........nd i love you da bro........plz come back again........ i know u will do it for me....(ur true on me will make you to do it)
with lots of luv
vidhya(sis ma)
sorry sorry its me again,
one mistake im changing the last point to Burke Johnson(1984- Forever) "BORN TO BE A STAR"....... Happy. Oh ya and by the way do u remeber that picture. echa kala naye that also u took cuz i forced u too ... tupid fellow....keep in touch ....
P.S :- my phone is breaking down. Can i take yours ???? pls pls pls pls. Just a few days before the promised date....Pls da maplai Pls pls pls.
keep in touch and im waiting for ur reply
ganesh
hi da maplai,
what no reply....guess what ive started writing the greatest book of my life. its called fist daughter's closet.its gonna be really big. ill send it to u once im done with it....but for now ill send a small part of it...chapter 5....isnt this how u felt in ur last moment. Sorry for taking some of your qualities but i had to :-) ....................... Burke always used to fascinated by death. He always wondered how it would feel once your dead. Would you be in an eternal slumber with dreams alone or not even that. Or would you be alive beside everybody without them being able to see along with all those dead before you. He was going to get answers to all his questions. Death was fast approaching. He looked back in time to search for any memories. He was an orphan who had never seen his parents. He had no happy family memories and was brought up in an orphanage. He brought himself up and the only thing he could remember about his childhood was his teacher’s face. There was nothing called happiness in his life other than Sara and it was fitting that her face would be the last he saw. He started getting fear that he was gonna die and never again see his beloved Sara and his best friend. He thought to himself, “its really cool, the human body. When it has life its able to create mountains and achieve wonders. But one small moment is enough to take the life away and make it a piece of junk that can’t do anything but create a foul smell. One small mistake in life is enough to cost you dear and give hand over to you the greatest punishment of not being able to see the world anymore.” There was no more pain. Now he could feel himself fade away. His eyes were slowly closing. Now finally the moments he spent with his few loved ones flashed before his eyes. In a fraction of a second he saw Sara grow up all over again. His final gaze fell on Sara before his eyes closed forever. Whoosh! Two aircrafts flew past. That was the last thing he heard. A waste of a good life. Born in a barn, he was found by some farmers along with the body of his mother. He lived off his own hard work and showed the world the power of determination. He didn’t have a wife nor kids. But he had one daughter…..Sara to whom he dedicated all his love to. He never experienced any pleasure in life other than bringing up his best friend’s daughter. He never experienced the feeling called love throughout his life but yet he achieved for the happiness of his parent’s spirit. Burke Johnson (1962- Forever) “BORN TO BE A STAR” …………………….
nice na...ill catch ya later.... bye
ganesh
what no reply....guess what ive started writing the greatest book of my life. its called fist daughter's closet.its gonna be really big. ill send it to u once im done with it....but for now ill send a small part of it...chapter 5....isnt this how u felt in ur last moment. Sorry for taking some of your qualities but i had to :-) ....................... Burke always used to fascinated by death. He always wondered how it would feel once your dead. Would you be in an eternal slumber with dreams alone or not even that. Or would you be alive beside everybody without them being able to see along with all those dead before you. He was going to get answers to all his questions. Death was fast approaching. He looked back in time to search for any memories. He was an orphan who had never seen his parents. He had no happy family memories and was brought up in an orphanage. He brought himself up and the only thing he could remember about his childhood was his teacher’s face. There was nothing called happiness in his life other than Sara and it was fitting that her face would be the last he saw. He started getting fear that he was gonna die and never again see his beloved Sara and his best friend. He thought to himself, “its really cool, the human body. When it has life its able to create mountains and achieve wonders. But one small moment is enough to take the life away and make it a piece of junk that can’t do anything but create a foul smell. One small mistake in life is enough to cost you dear and give hand over to you the greatest punishment of not being able to see the world anymore.” There was no more pain. Now he could feel himself fade away. His eyes were slowly closing. Now finally the moments he spent with his few loved ones flashed before his eyes. In a fraction of a second he saw Sara grow up all over again. His final gaze fell on Sara before his eyes closed forever. Whoosh! Two aircrafts flew past. That was the last thing he heard. A waste of a good life. Born in a barn, he was found by some farmers along with the body of his mother. He lived off his own hard work and showed the world the power of determination. He didn’t have a wife nor kids. But he had one daughter…..Sara to whom he dedicated all his love to. He never experienced any pleasure in life other than bringing up his best friend’s daughter. He never experienced the feeling called love throughout his life but yet he achieved for the happiness of his parent’s spirit. Burke Johnson (1962- Forever) “BORN TO BE A STAR” …………………….
nice na...ill catch ya later.... bye
ganesh
Hi Ramesh.
You have born as twinkling star!
Grown as the full bright moon !
Showered love and affection like rain !
Disappeared like the passing clouds !
created sunami in all our hearts!
Caused an everlasting scar in Appulu's heart!
All of us will remember U till we meet U again!!!!
DHARMU MAMA.
You have born as twinkling star!
Grown as the full bright moon !
Showered love and affection like rain !
Disappeared like the passing clouds !
created sunami in all our hearts!
Caused an everlasting scar in Appulu's heart!
All of us will remember U till we meet U again!!!!
DHARMU MAMA.
If only,
Even if you coughed, my heart will bleed for you, then they why did you carry the pain in your heart, you know what I mean, don’t you, if only you had talked to me… You are a great guy, I am proud of you.
Applu ……minus 27 days
Even if you coughed, my heart will bleed for you, then they why did you carry the pain in your heart, you know what I mean, don’t you, if only you had talked to me… You are a great guy, I am proud of you.
Applu ……minus 27 days
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Hi Ma!!!
its me.... u know me!!! u are everything i ever dreamt of.... bout how a perfect humanbeing should be, how a son should be, how a brother should be, how a friend should be, not only that u also knew how perfectly u can be a true love!!! has anybody seen u so deep??? does anybody know u so well??? has anybody seen u smile, laugh, cry, being angry, being so patient, polit, kind, lovable.....the list can go on! i guess i have! thank u for being there when i needed u, thank u for all that uv given me!! but ma..... what do i give u in return??? y did u leave without askin me for anything at all?? but i guess i know what is it that u wud want from me? i will always live my life with a smile that expresses all the joy we've shared together, spend my time dreamin bout all the time we've been together n will Believe that ur always there beside me no matter wat!!! like uv always promised me!! thank u for being there my angel!! ma..... im missin u so much!!! im only prayin n hopin i see u soon! i know u have a lot've work to do there nd thats y u had to leave in a hurry but will surely wait for the day i get to see u n tell u how much iv been wanting all those times i spent with u. i really wish u u hear me now.....please come back as soon as possible! im so lost without u! Applu calls u 'RAJA' n u r indeed truly "THE KING OF ALL HUMAN HEARTS AND THE RULER OF LOVE ITSELF!!!"
ps: ma.... remember we saw the movie "a walk to remember"??? i just saw the movie again! missin u so much! please takecare jaan!
with all my love, urs n only urs...
snow white!!!
its me.... u know me!!! u are everything i ever dreamt of.... bout how a perfect humanbeing should be, how a son should be, how a brother should be, how a friend should be, not only that u also knew how perfectly u can be a true love!!! has anybody seen u so deep??? does anybody know u so well??? has anybody seen u smile, laugh, cry, being angry, being so patient, polit, kind, lovable.....the list can go on! i guess i have! thank u for being there when i needed u, thank u for all that uv given me!! but ma..... what do i give u in return??? y did u leave without askin me for anything at all?? but i guess i know what is it that u wud want from me? i will always live my life with a smile that expresses all the joy we've shared together, spend my time dreamin bout all the time we've been together n will Believe that ur always there beside me no matter wat!!! like uv always promised me!! thank u for being there my angel!! ma..... im missin u so much!!! im only prayin n hopin i see u soon! i know u have a lot've work to do there nd thats y u had to leave in a hurry but will surely wait for the day i get to see u n tell u how much iv been wanting all those times i spent with u. i really wish u u hear me now.....please come back as soon as possible! im so lost without u! Applu calls u 'RAJA' n u r indeed truly "THE KING OF ALL HUMAN HEARTS AND THE RULER OF LOVE ITSELF!!!"
ps: ma.... remember we saw the movie "a walk to remember"??? i just saw the movie again! missin u so much! please takecare jaan!
with all my love, urs n only urs...
snow white!!!
dearie Ramesh,
may i ask u two questions?
1. why did you leave such a wonderful home and a beautiful world?
2. wont you come back just for one purpose-your father wants to hear your voice-only once...
Shanthi
may i ask u two questions?
1. why did you leave such a wonderful home and a beautiful world?
2. wont you come back just for one purpose-your father wants to hear your voice-only once...
Shanthi
I am listening....
When you felt you hurt somebody or you made a mistake, you had the courage to apologise and say "Sorry". All the time I am listening to hear you say "Sorry" and for me to say it is ok da, so that you can be back and as usual I keep watching you and feel what a gift God gave me....
I am still listening..... Applu minus 26 days.
When you felt you hurt somebody or you made a mistake, you had the courage to apologise and say "Sorry". All the time I am listening to hear you say "Sorry" and for me to say it is ok da, so that you can be back and as usual I keep watching you and feel what a gift God gave me....
I am still listening..... Applu minus 26 days.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
A shining lamp in the sky bright for just a moment and pressed in our heart forever.
We’ll meet again in a world where none will be ever parted, dear Ramesh.
Bruna and Alberto Trivellone, Italy.
Logic
Fundamental principle of the management is your return is directly proportionate to the risk you take. Higher the risk, higher the profit or loss, lower the risk, lower the profit or loss.
You took one risk and why our loss is the highest ?
No logic - Applu Minus 25 days.
Fundamental principle of the management is your return is directly proportionate to the risk you take. Higher the risk, higher the profit or loss, lower the risk, lower the profit or loss.
You took one risk and why our loss is the highest ?
No logic - Applu Minus 25 days.
Monday, March 27, 2006
"i didnt do it, it must have been saniyan". c'mon blame it on me again. i havent heard that sound in 27 days.i think its time i tell you the truth, i ate all three toblerones. is that why u got angry and left??? has there been a single day in my life in which i havent been called a echai kalai, now uve left me cry in ur memory and happiness in our family has become a distant hope. i hope ur happy now???how come u told all ur friends tat u liked me so much and never said a single word of affection to me???atleast now i have to tell u,"i know everything".there is nothing more to say, u urself should be knowing all the changes in my mind,heart,dreams and desires. hope ur happy, u had more than 1000 ppl crying for u on 3rd and 4th of march. and btw kalvanin kadhali was great movie u would have loved it. i know i promised to beat u in all aspects of life and break all the records that u set.but the boards didnt go off as i expected. because of what?? cuz of u ,u cheap selfish excuse of a brother.dont worry da ill beat u in life and achieve whatever u aspired to do. i know its hard but ill give it my best go. just give me courage and focus to take care of everybody.........ill get back to u later.
ganesh(echakala)
ganesh(echakala)
Born to be a Star
Its one big shock of lifetime..still cant believe that he is not there..
To me he has gone for his higher studies to US like he always wanted..
More than a cousin, Ramesh was like a younger brother to me.
I think thats how we have treated each other.
From giving advices on what should he take as his profession
to taking advice on what kind of guy would fit me..
i think we have disucssed so many weird and not so weird stuff.
The late night chats, dhayam, beach bajis, kutthu, ajith-vijay fight..all these
petty memories will now be preserved..
It was so much fun and so much meaningful having him around..
He was one affectionate kid whose presence will be missed all throughout.
Miss u a lot da..
luv,
Nithya Akka.
Its one big shock of lifetime..still cant believe that he is not there..
To me he has gone for his higher studies to US like he always wanted..
More than a cousin, Ramesh was like a younger brother to me.
I think thats how we have treated each other.
From giving advices on what should he take as his profession
to taking advice on what kind of guy would fit me..
i think we have disucssed so many weird and not so weird stuff.
The late night chats, dhayam, beach bajis, kutthu, ajith-vijay fight..all these
petty memories will now be preserved..
It was so much fun and so much meaningful having him around..
He was one affectionate kid whose presence will be missed all throughout.
Miss u a lot da..
luv,
Nithya Akka.
The changes
I disliked you or Ganesh or Ma to wear black dress, today I wear only black
I never moved out of the house without shaving, today I have a beard
I abhor sympathy, today everybody sympathize for me
I walked only in the terrace, now I walk only in the beach
I never wear chappals to office, today I wear chappals all the time
Likes and dislikes, no more da
Applu Minus 23 days
I disliked you or Ganesh or Ma to wear black dress, today I wear only black
I never moved out of the house without shaving, today I have a beard
I abhor sympathy, today everybody sympathize for me
I walked only in the terrace, now I walk only in the beach
I never wear chappals to office, today I wear chappals all the time
Likes and dislikes, no more da
Applu Minus 23 days
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Raja,
Nothing is still in the world,
Earth rotates all the time and circling the Sun all the time,
Air never stops moving,
Waves never stop moving,
But on 3rd March, my life stopped moving forever, when your heart became still.
Counting my days….applu.
Nothing is still in the world,
Earth rotates all the time and circling the Sun all the time,
Air never stops moving,
Waves never stop moving,
But on 3rd March, my life stopped moving forever, when your heart became still.
Counting my days….applu.
For the world it was an accident,
For others, you will be a sweet memory,
For your dear friends, you will be a star,
For your patti, you are an agony
For your brother, you are his inspiration,
For Applu and Ma, you are the rest of their life,
I await my moment…..Applu
For others, you will be a sweet memory,
For your dear friends, you will be a star,
For your patti, you are an agony
For your brother, you are his inspiration,
For Applu and Ma, you are the rest of their life,
I await my moment…..Applu
Raja,
Since the day you were born, I did whatever you asked me and allowed you to do whatever you want and what you believe as right. Only thing I asked you is not to have a beard without moustache. But I made a request to you, day in, day out, not to drive a two wheeler.
Why da ?, the only request of mine in your life, you did not listen
Applu.
Since the day you were born, I did whatever you asked me and allowed you to do whatever you want and what you believe as right. Only thing I asked you is not to have a beard without moustache. But I made a request to you, day in, day out, not to drive a two wheeler.
Why da ?, the only request of mine in your life, you did not listen
Applu.
