Sunday, September 03, 2006
Raja
It is exactly six months before this day, I left you near Madya Kailash and you left me forever, taking with you my life. The only thing which mattered most was you and Gani and to this day, I was not showing that sort of consideration even for Ma. I feel so helpless, I am not able to reconcile, I am not able to accept you are not there. If you believed in my love, Gani’s devotion and Ma’s care, why did you leave us to suffer in your memory for the rest of our life. I see you everywhere, I hear your voice every minute and when I want to touch you, you are not there. You come in my dreams and when I hug you and try to hold on to you, you disappear.
Yesterday, Gani solved a tough problem, I could sense you watching him over his shoulder, I am sure you would not have solved it, but you would have felt very proud of him, he would have loved to have you say he did a great job. Each one of us was very proud of each other, we had it in our hearts. Then why did you disobey my only request to you not to drive a two wheeler ? Did you not think of your applu, ma and gani at that time. Without you, for every one of us, the circle is not complete, it is open, we don’t see things the same way when you were here with us, small things which we enjoyed and brought us happiness means nothing anymore.
Will we ever know the answer to the question, Why did you leave us ? Why do Ma and me have suffer like this at this age and Why your brother who idolized you has to go through this agony
Days, months, years may pass by, but for me, the time came to a stand still at the dusk of 3rd March. I am waiting for the final hug from you when you will not escape, but will take me with you, wherever you are.
Applu.
It is exactly six months before this day, I left you near Madya Kailash and you left me forever, taking with you my life. The only thing which mattered most was you and Gani and to this day, I was not showing that sort of consideration even for Ma. I feel so helpless, I am not able to reconcile, I am not able to accept you are not there. If you believed in my love, Gani’s devotion and Ma’s care, why did you leave us to suffer in your memory for the rest of our life. I see you everywhere, I hear your voice every minute and when I want to touch you, you are not there. You come in my dreams and when I hug you and try to hold on to you, you disappear.
Yesterday, Gani solved a tough problem, I could sense you watching him over his shoulder, I am sure you would not have solved it, but you would have felt very proud of him, he would have loved to have you say he did a great job. Each one of us was very proud of each other, we had it in our hearts. Then why did you disobey my only request to you not to drive a two wheeler ? Did you not think of your applu, ma and gani at that time. Without you, for every one of us, the circle is not complete, it is open, we don’t see things the same way when you were here with us, small things which we enjoyed and brought us happiness means nothing anymore.
Will we ever know the answer to the question, Why did you leave us ? Why do Ma and me have suffer like this at this age and Why your brother who idolized you has to go through this agony
Days, months, years may pass by, but for me, the time came to a stand still at the dusk of 3rd March. I am waiting for the final hug from you when you will not escape, but will take me with you, wherever you are.
Applu.
