Monday, April 17, 2006
Zorro..Zorro..Zorro.. ,(got a big smile for u...now smile for me pls.am in this stupid mood..(u know jumping-on-the-bed happy mood)
its been a week since i wrote here. i'm not gonna meet u here often, at this blog. i don't need it. but since this blog is not just bout talking to u, that its also a benign support system, i will write... nowadays, when i write in this blog..it feels llike- i'm peeping into a club and saying " yeah..am back. i care for him"..then i vanish. i peep in again later.."i still do care..!!". guess , i'm finding it downright silly to meet u here becos i talk to u every single day. u're my diary like always. so i will write here, only when u want me to ,like now
now to sad songs..
it didn't jolt me, but felt like a needle -prick. here i am bleeding to death, in silence, without u and someone comes along throws mud at my wound. petty and uneccesary, but i totally understand and empathize.
Zorro..remember our line- this world's filled with impostors!.. lol..i'd like to add something more. these ppl are funny too..literally. coupla days back shalini and myself had a good laugh about it. i couldn't stop laughing even after she hung up.i'm serious. feels like school days. shallow and predictable ppl around. Zorro.. its sick. two things u liked about me so much- my tenacity and me being brutally frank. this is what's keeping me together in one piece.
i've begin to hate the words i spill
i throw disgusting shadows on verbs.
i seem to dislike my handwriting suddenly.
words they fail u sometimes...see, its like this.. there's a ferocious battle of thoughts going on in my head..so much happening..but not a single word to help me.
you can't talk when you're drowning, can you??
have just this to tell you, zorro
GRAVELY MISSING YOU
this one line is like a over-filled laundry basket. dig into the stink and pain..make whatever out of it.
Zorro..i know i've already entered this in my diary. but am thankful to u again for constantly showing me small signs of the fact that u're arnd. why then would i pick a flick called " doctor zhivago"( which, though the most favorite classic movie for everyone at home, i never got to watch it until yesterday.)..don't know why i chose to see that movie that particular night , when my thoughts are full of u. it killed me. the movie was like a stage set just for u. so pure the way u spoke to me. the way u became the hero..tears. i know it sounds stupid but i know u too well..and this doesn't happen with every movie.
remember may 6th 2005- we parted . u stayed back on earth. i left to heaven. i told u about me watching a movie ( before sunrise) that day..that told a story so much like ours.i hung onto that sign..thats why i'm here now.
no matter how many times i've reminded u, u never got to watch that movie. and me , no matter how many times, u've told me to watch "a walk to remember"- i haven't still. will lay my hands upon it soon. don't frown pls. ty.
will meet u soon
love and peace...your galadriel
P.S.- why did u have to walk into shalini's dream? that was so not needed. u've scared the hell out of her. u wanna talk to me, then come to me. i'm making genuine attempts to sleep these days. anyways i got your msg..even before u tried telling her(frightening her). Am yours. i know the truth better than u'd understand it. don't worry . keep that smile on. let it continue to steal hearts. stay close.
its been a week since i wrote here. i'm not gonna meet u here often, at this blog. i don't need it. but since this blog is not just bout talking to u, that its also a benign support system, i will write... nowadays, when i write in this blog..it feels llike- i'm peeping into a club and saying " yeah..am back. i care for him"..then i vanish. i peep in again later.."i still do care..!!". guess , i'm finding it downright silly to meet u here becos i talk to u every single day. u're my diary like always. so i will write here, only when u want me to ,like now
now to sad songs..
it didn't jolt me, but felt like a needle -prick. here i am bleeding to death, in silence, without u and someone comes along throws mud at my wound. petty and uneccesary, but i totally understand and empathize.
Zorro..remember our line- this world's filled with impostors!.. lol..i'd like to add something more. these ppl are funny too..literally. coupla days back shalini and myself had a good laugh about it. i couldn't stop laughing even after she hung up.i'm serious. feels like school days. shallow and predictable ppl around. Zorro.. its sick. two things u liked about me so much- my tenacity and me being brutally frank. this is what's keeping me together in one piece.
i've begin to hate the words i spill
i throw disgusting shadows on verbs.
i seem to dislike my handwriting suddenly.
words they fail u sometimes...see, its like this.. there's a ferocious battle of thoughts going on in my head..so much happening..but not a single word to help me.
you can't talk when you're drowning, can you??
have just this to tell you, zorro
GRAVELY MISSING YOU
this one line is like a over-filled laundry basket. dig into the stink and pain..make whatever out of it.
Zorro..i know i've already entered this in my diary. but am thankful to u again for constantly showing me small signs of the fact that u're arnd. why then would i pick a flick called " doctor zhivago"( which, though the most favorite classic movie for everyone at home, i never got to watch it until yesterday.)..don't know why i chose to see that movie that particular night , when my thoughts are full of u. it killed me. the movie was like a stage set just for u. so pure the way u spoke to me. the way u became the hero..tears. i know it sounds stupid but i know u too well..and this doesn't happen with every movie.
remember may 6th 2005- we parted . u stayed back on earth. i left to heaven. i told u about me watching a movie ( before sunrise) that day..that told a story so much like ours.i hung onto that sign..thats why i'm here now.
no matter how many times i've reminded u, u never got to watch that movie. and me , no matter how many times, u've told me to watch "a walk to remember"- i haven't still. will lay my hands upon it soon. don't frown pls. ty.
will meet u soon
love and peace...your galadriel
P.S.- why did u have to walk into shalini's dream? that was so not needed. u've scared the hell out of her. u wanna talk to me, then come to me. i'm making genuine attempts to sleep these days. anyways i got your msg..even before u tried telling her(frightening her). Am yours. i know the truth better than u'd understand it. don't worry . keep that smile on. let it continue to steal hearts. stay close.
