BORN TO BE A STAR

dey......i was wondering.....now that your with god.......ask him one question on his face......what did our family do wrong??? what did applu do wrong??? what did we all do wrong to deserve this??? as far as i know our family has done nothing but good and not to mention applu. the things he s done. seriously he's god.why such a suffering for him. i cant bear to see him like this. dont u remember all this times we had as a family. u me amma and applu. now do u think we can ever have a vacation without u.u have no idea how much i cry when i see my friends going with their families for a vacation. hurts me so much.think and see, the only thing tat gives applu happiness "WAS" u and me. now sorrow has dissolved everything and even the happiness he has left in me is fading cuz of u. why??? why did u leave us. no forget us. why did u leave him?? i have my friends to give me happiness??? what does he have left?? don say its me......its really hard.ok fine you ve left us......if u really miss us and feel bad, u have to make a sacrifice for me. i don care what u do but u have to make applu forget u. i know its hard on u also but u have to deserve this. atleast for my sake. u think i can be ahppy if he s thinkning about u so much. if ur watching me im sure u would be able to see why im so detached from him and the rest of the family. cuz they are still thinking about u. trust me the only way i can be myself is for applu to accept the fact that u are no more and no force can bring u back alive and its time to realise and relish wat he has left his life.don worry ill make him proud but only if u do this for me.i know its hard but pls do it. your name will live on forever leave that to me. i promise if not now, in the future ppl will be able to see you in me. for so long i was no more than a shadow to u. ive realised tat its time to slowly change into u. ill do it but only if u do wat i tell u soon otherwise beyond a period of time im sure my mind will be lost forever and ganesh will be present only physically but his mind wont be normal anymore. so we have a deal. u do wat i told u and ill do keep up my word. hurry up!!!! the clock is ticking. i hope u know wat i mean.

take care
till next time
ganesh
p.s remember time is the main factor.

dude...
hope i'm doing my duties well. i cant take over u. i can at least take after u. i had bhai biryani after long today. oh those days... oh those beautiful looks on ur serene face. how is it that u bring tears to my eyes in a jiffy? only u'll know y. but i wont cry. bundler is gonna be born soon. i need to perfect the design b4 i show it to them. got quite some work to do. cried the other day on my way from kilpauk garden rd to abhirami. u'll know y. i miss u. i miss ur nonsense tamil. i miss ur pachcha satta. i miss u inexpressibly.
I love you more than that
Shags

Raja,

It hurts me badly. I did not sleep yesterday, keep remembering to-day you have to go for visa, I know you are not there, but I could not sleep. Of late you used to be so much away from home, I long to see you those few minutes in a day and hope to wait for the days like today to accompany you, so that I can be with you for more time. You would have called me and told me you got the Visa and just to hear you say that over phone, I would give my life. It is your happiness, which was priceless to me. I also knew, probably this day will be the last I will accompany you as your applu and you would have gone to US and you would have started living your own life. I was prepared for that and I never intend troubling you in your life with me accompanying you wherever you go. I was prepared for that loneliness. But I would have had the chance to see you at least for a few minutes and hear your voice once a while. I was not prepared for this loneliness and void.

Is that why you left us forever, so that I won’t forget you for a minute. I live in constant emptiness, without knowing where am I going, what am I doing, the only thing I do is to keep thinking of you, your smile, your voice and so many things you did from the day you were born. More the day passes, more the longing is. Your bunch of favorite shirts, which I keep with my dress, I hug them often to feel you. Love you forever….Applu

Hi Raja

After 142 days, for the first time you came in my dream that lasted may be a minute and I saw you just like before and you allowed me to hug you for a few seconds. What a feeling. For the first time since 3rd march, I felt happiness, may be for a short time. We were to go to some unknown place, are you saying something to me, da. Please allow me to see you like this and come in my dreams, that is more than adequate. Hope you remember, you have an appointment on 25th for Visa.

Yours Applu, who will never forget you for a minute forever.

see i told u......god took the wrong person......my worst fears have come true......ppl are comparing u with me......i agree ur a better person than me......i still havent had a chance to prove my worth......why are ppl like tat???? they re like if ramesh was here he wud have done this and ur not doing it.....no use mentioning who said it.....whats said is said.....i knew everybody felt like tat and finally i heard it out of a mouth.....its just a pin prick i tell u.....but its straight through my heart......enough of this......come back man......only u can save me......wat did i do wrong to deserve this??? tell me.....wat did i wrong?? im waiting for an answer.... come back, come back !!!!!!


ganesh

Dude...
Thanks for coming in my dream again. How come u failed in a tooling paper? thot u loved mfg. I saw ma react very normal. Maybe i must've simulated how she reacted wn u lost ur fone. And wat was that towards the end of the dream... you wanna be with us forever.Maybe u r with us and its just we ppl who are way too numb cos v were way too hurt by ur absence that we dont feel ur presence around. But I understand u r around. I want you by my side all the time. I've not been to besant's in all this while. I only went to cozee once and that too with Gani. Otherwise, its just not the same old me. I've set ur pic as my wallpaper and i feel the urge to finish off bundler asap so that we can patent it and release it into the Market. It's still BYS and u r the spiritual leader.
Love you
Shags

dude...
I felt real bad to hv made applu cry. It dug deep inside to see tears down his eyes. Come back some day just to make him smile. Please. I love you. If by staying away, i'd help him feel better, i may do that. but ur dream - bys bundler - should be a hit. I'll do wat it takes. I miss you WBR. U r always me hero.
Cant believe u r just not around.
Luv
Shags

I wake up to the third of another month, I open my eyes,
My eyes still search for him, this pain never dies,
Four months I cried, these tears don't run dry,
To let him go, let his image fade away, I try,
He will always be my bro, the one who promised never to leave me,
When I close my eyes, his beautiful smile I see,
Bro, come back to this place where there is no love or hate,
Your hand I will never let go, look back, it is never too late.

I love you, Bro. Missing you.

I just saw this “AirTel” ad. “Two word “Quit India” brought down an Empire, 1 Million candles can bring down a war, THE POWER OF HUMAN EXPRESSION”

From how many human beings and What form of Expression will have the power to bring back this smile ?

Yesterday night, when I was lying in bed, eyes closed, Gani called me Applu, just like you used to call me, for a second, when I opened my eyes, I thought it is you, he looks like you,

I miss you Raja, all the body pain and high fever did not prevent me from forgetting you, when I close my eyes, you are just floating in the cool of my tears.

Applu

ha ha the saying "Nothing lasts forever, even cold november rain" makes so much sense now. dey u know something i always wondered why u were called base. i didnt ask anybody, but now i sorta figured it out myself. don worry i wont tell anybody and ill make sure i don get a nick name like tat ever. im so sorry i couldnt do much on ur bday. i guess u shd be knowing why. anyways i just had high fever again for 3 days, i went to a hosp also. i missed u so much cuz u were the one beside me when i was admitted in apollo last year and ur the one who told me not to bug the nurses by my tantrums. i kept that in my mind this time. u know i was thinking. what was the last thing u ever told me while u were here.........i tht it was the all the best u told me for my exam tat day but no it wasnt, i remember u were asleep when i left. its not good night, never have we said good night to each other. seriously i dunno, i think it would have been poi paddi or have u finished studying. let me keep it like tat till i find out. dey u missed the marriage, more than me freaking out im sure it wud have been u. everybody came. after so many years i was seeing them all together.i missed u a lot then. i know i wud have been left out if u were there but now i feel it wud have been ok cuz u wud have then and there come and given me company like u always do. in the end was i supposed to know tat nothing else matters...............

ganesh

Dei...
I dnt care y zizu's goal could not be saved. i dnt care y our guys missed so many goals. i dnt care y we couldn't make it to even extratime. i dnt care abt portugal not having made it to the finals but all i regret is u r not here to shout "oh Scr..." cos i would've stayed over at ur place to watch the match and v wud've been back from our usual night out eats. sigh...
I miss you loverman
Miss u brother...
Wherever u r... Remember, I still love you the same way. not a day passes without my thinking of you. I love You. I wanna make u feel how much i miss you.Tho i dint go to little hearts, i remember ur having told me abt ur wanting to go there. I didnt laugh at u but i smiled in respect and told yuppie abt it. I wish v went there together. Aen Da? Y did u hv to do this to me? i'm gonna go to Krishnaveni theatre with Yuppie but the bery thot of that theatre reminds me only of u n i watching gilli there in harley's last few working days.
I want u back on earth just for a small span called a lifetime. Its something not beyond wat humans are greedy for in this god-forsaken planet. just a lifetime...
I know one thing for sure. tho i dnt believe much in friendship, u wud've been one guy i'd've stayed in touch with for a real real real long time to come. Sigh...

I love you n miss u infinitely

Shags

hey rum, i was in chennai this week, my first there without you dude!the place isn't the same without you brother!!saw the same old places, the beach, cool cats, dhaba express, khana khazana, pizza corner...!Dude, i couldn't think of anything but the silly things we did there!how i wish you were here!this song just plays in an infinite loop in my head brother,

"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."

-vivek

hey rum, i was in chennai this week, my first there without you dude!the place isn't the same without you brother!!saw the same old places, the beach, cool cats, dhaba express, khana khazana, pizza corner...!Dude, i couldn't think of anything but the silly things we did there!how i wish you were here!this song just plays in an infinite loop in my head brother,

"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."

-vivek

I promised not to cry on your birthday because it is a day to rejoice, but could not control myself when I saw your ma for the first time so upset. Sorry da. But I will keep the other promise I made. I did everything to please you on your birthday, to gift your money by SW and spending the evening in Little Hearts to bring happiness and smile to those children of God. So many of your friends came, if you have asked them before to come to Little hearts, they would have laughed, but by parting from them, you have made them to come to Little Hearts and I am sure some of them will certainly help them, not only in your memory, but also on their own. Nobody in this world, how godly he may be will know where exactly you are, in what form you are, but one thing for sure, you as Raja, Rami, Eaash, daaei, and with so many names will always remain in our heart. You are an angel always, guide us, bye my Angel. Applu